"One, 1, the dot that follows after a strong argument. The node, a point that connects with other nodes. a wandering node who extends its arms to reach others.
A moment, indication of focus that far behind gets the distance of the goal to reach. one goal, one objective, only one person to get, one person to meet, one person to know better, myself....
A single entity, whose starting state is null, is conditioned, tested, evaluated, they don't want null entity; it's created, filled with attributes, data, functions, constructed and packed as a single entity, much components, only a single representation.
Then it's shown to the world, as only one thing, it's easy to find. object.getInstance(), ask again where is the object, then they respond, it's here, and the world sees again the vision of a single portion of data....
The one behind the window, behind the monitor, behind the wall that keeps it in, the being, inside a box, unrelated to anything in this world, to himself, to his relatives, to his bonds, to his experiences, nothing was belonging to him...
My comfort zone, a confined space, nothing else to satisfy than to make sure all around me is free of harm, free of emotion, free of guiltiness, free of all those things that can get you down... All those years I've been like this, no one seemed to notice that. I was trapped inside this physical thing called body; my beliefs and insecurities, my suffering and momentum of true sadness, all kept inside this container....
And they still keep calling object.getInstance(), assuring my object is still there. Whatever assigning a pointer to there is their only option, as long as it still gets true, it was nothing to worry....
After all, I kept all my variables private, without giving a function to know about those, only my parent public function, the inherited class called "Life"....
[Life forced me to inherit that function, without it, my representation to the material world would be a nonsense, like if I didn't exist, not being human..., because, I'm more than just an Entity....]
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Arcade Videogames
As I got my hands hurt after a fierce battle of the video games at some home with lots of people, I reminded myself of those games I played long time ago. Those games are old too >//<
That made me imagine all the technology they use to make 2D videogames. Well, the 3 games I'm referring to are:
King of Fighters '99
Metal Slug X
Capcom vs SNK 2
those were the games played, all playable through a play station 2. some were from play station, but it was okay to have it there.
Starting with Capcom vs SNK 2, this was a game a "Great Friend" of mine had, once he invited me to his house to play it a while, and it was fun to play it. I had the chance of actually play it because it was all common in here to play arcade fight-type games. The store nearby had some of those, well, most of the local store had one or two arcade machines to play. I wasn't used to those, because of the money, and because they didn't give me one.... Also, Play Station, I didn't had one at that time. It was cool to know I could see it again and playing it.
Then, Metal Slug X, another arcade game, this one was difficult if you don't have enough skills to clear it, nor the money to actually train and learn more. You only have a few buttons and a bunch of obstacles to pass trough and eliminate. One shot against you and you lose one life, 3 lives lost and you need to continue, with another coin. Again, my expectation of coins were limited though.... On this time, I didn't actually see all the play-through until the very end. I was glad someone let me pass the last level with another 'expert' on this game. Wonder how many years he had this game....
Lastly, King of Fighters '99, I think I had 2000 and 2001 for Play Station 2, but then one of my favorite characters, Athena and Bao, also Mature and Iori, people always want to use Iori, because his attacks are awesome, and maybe their Desperation Moves are easy to do. I saw that too on an arcade machine. It wasn't as difficult to play, I already knew most of the techniques and move buttons of my characters to use. The only problem was the controller stick and the buttons, always difficult to fast-move to properly make an attack.
------------
Those are one of the things one make me wonder, I could actually be a true gamer, but as you can see, if you can't make the sacrifice of the money to play those games, it is like feeling weird to be a gamer, because you haven't got too much experience to show it.
If I feel like a gamer, I should feel the need to spend most of the time playing videogames, but last year was more social-oriented, I don't know if I can't combine both. I think I can, I just need experience to have a good talk, when I need to talk. That's what I think. I shouldn't need to talk if it's not necessary.
Anyway this is what happened last time, and now those games, seems to be guarded one more time, without someone to really play those games. It's like a treasure chest that's easy to find but difficult to get, only the master has the key, and it took it away with him. But for playing those, there are other options available, the only thing needed is time.
That made me imagine all the technology they use to make 2D videogames. Well, the 3 games I'm referring to are:
King of Fighters '99
Metal Slug X
Capcom vs SNK 2
those were the games played, all playable through a play station 2. some were from play station, but it was okay to have it there.
Starting with Capcom vs SNK 2, this was a game a "Great Friend" of mine had, once he invited me to his house to play it a while, and it was fun to play it. I had the chance of actually play it because it was all common in here to play arcade fight-type games. The store nearby had some of those, well, most of the local store had one or two arcade machines to play. I wasn't used to those, because of the money, and because they didn't give me one.... Also, Play Station, I didn't had one at that time. It was cool to know I could see it again and playing it.
Then, Metal Slug X, another arcade game, this one was difficult if you don't have enough skills to clear it, nor the money to actually train and learn more. You only have a few buttons and a bunch of obstacles to pass trough and eliminate. One shot against you and you lose one life, 3 lives lost and you need to continue, with another coin. Again, my expectation of coins were limited though.... On this time, I didn't actually see all the play-through until the very end. I was glad someone let me pass the last level with another 'expert' on this game. Wonder how many years he had this game....
------------
Those are one of the things one make me wonder, I could actually be a true gamer, but as you can see, if you can't make the sacrifice of the money to play those games, it is like feeling weird to be a gamer, because you haven't got too much experience to show it.
If I feel like a gamer, I should feel the need to spend most of the time playing videogames, but last year was more social-oriented, I don't know if I can't combine both. I think I can, I just need experience to have a good talk, when I need to talk. That's what I think. I shouldn't need to talk if it's not necessary.
Anyway this is what happened last time, and now those games, seems to be guarded one more time, without someone to really play those games. It's like a treasure chest that's easy to find but difficult to get, only the master has the key, and it took it away with him. But for playing those, there are other options available, the only thing needed is time.
(And check there are more arcade games I can talk too :3)
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Another February
And let's hope I can do a better me this time :P
[Posted someplace else, because I can :3]
Hello, as I try to draw and write at the same time, and at the same time making a double effort to make a fast mind development and typing trying to make nice ideas as fast as I can, I can say welcome to all of you who visit this place. Really it's a pleasure to have all to visit my gallery, even if we all know there are a lot of us that we can image, maybe I can't imagine such amazing deviants and good people gathering here.
I don't tend to comment too much, because it makes me think, what I see is that it doesn't have to be too well thought of a comment, and something eventually will come out as fluently as you had think it in your mind. All that talking and chatting practice I have made has served me too much. And I appreciate the people once again to put one time of your lives to really visit me here and this gallery. Thanks to all of you.
And, in other news, it's February. In this month, I have always made the tremendous revolutionary Idea of Friendship, with a nice thought of Love. Ever since the Disruption of Motion that made me think on Friends more than anything in this life, I had that characteristic trauma of always be beside a friend and feel its support and its great compassion, and good knowledge of life. I had some friends, real life, and some of them were special to me, though they may not look at it that way. I may be the one my friends were uncomfortable with me, I didn't know that. Maybe they couldn't find in me some special connection with myself and, what could be worse, they didn't have time to make the connection be as active as any other normal friend....
The thing people would state that is as weird as to say I'm occupied and busy dealing with problems in my own life, I can't have the time to look around and see who would need any help.... And even if that's harsh, I understand, people won't have the time for everyone, even if we want to. Even myself want to speak with an infinity of people, and that's impossible. Even if I want a nice computer to deal with all the information, and try it to process it and find new results and all of stuff, I know I can't do it.
There is a delay, a time consumed, a cool down time to process new information again. And all what I need to do is to be as fast as I can to provide information needed. That's what a fast-paced world is.
But one thing is sure, with all the effort I've made lately, I've improved a little bit and I got new methods to deal to different situations in life. Not that I can apply it effectively yet, but I know if I still practice, I can do better things. And when the cool down moment arrives, accept it as such. Crying is allowed, sleeping is allowed. Even doubt a little is allowed. As long as I can feel I can do something for myself, for someone, for everyone.
Even if effort is a hard thing, face the possibilities is one of the mysteries in life, the trill of living, the motivator to make us sure what life can surprise us this time, obviously between our range of our normal life.
Hope you all have a great week, and spend this month reminding what's friendship to you?
[Is a question, you can answer it, I want to know, REALLY want to know, I appreciate it SOO MUCH]
And if you want, what is LOVE to you? [I also want to know.]
Thursday, January 30, 2014
When things are easy enough to do
Hello. I don't know what I am doing right now , but I think I am writing something. Looks like my words are too simple to say sometimes and I can't find a better way to write better things like this. I maybe struggle when I want to say an idea, but then I wonder if I can only do it again.
In fact, I'm having a weird time. Trying to write while the taxi drives me home...
It could be a crazy thing to do that, but in order to get a good idea, I will have to do it this way. I will continue posting regardless of what I can receive as retribution, or at least one or more ways to convince people I'm still here.
And after a day or two trying to write something, I guess it's time for an addition to the data, and a little bit of information. I'm going to redact what are going to be my next postings on here, and I think I have enough elements to make a new design. Not structural design, but at least the background and the header of the blog. Hope to do something good this year. :3
Saturday, January 25, 2014
I can't sleep
And I don't know if that matters.
I feel like a trembling in my emotional zone. Disruption of area by the Impact of a Message, a blow of the mind of someone who can easily throw those ideas effectively without hesitation and doubt. My counter response was nullified, was stopped by my own Resource of Equilibrium before the action was made.
Why could be that, the Internet, having a wide variety of sorts, can be limited on the actions in real life?
The actions made in real life are much huge than the Internet can recollect. Basically all the same thing. Kinda gloomy the last statement. That's why people give meanings and think about it.
A bunch of data saved on servers made by people, the fact that the people have made it has its own repercussions, both in space, and in time, in popularity, and importance by the ones who pointed to that data. Some people don't realize it, what that data could affect in others' minds. I can maintain my own position by the fact that this blog is still ongoing, since its start. But it's popularity isn't as great as others.
I could say nothing is more important than the fact I was making the things wrong since start. Insecurity after insecurity, after a desperation to write something, to express myself, to let out everything of myself, to give all to destroy all those bindings who were limiting myself, emotional and mentally. And also my ability to write things without saying to much. And receive appreciation, and kindness, and nice words, and pageviews, at least if someone could have seen it. It's a plus.
And, I still think that my world that is outside of the screen of the Digital World is still uncomfortable, because mainly all what I do here is not projecting to the Real World, I don't know if my family sees what I do, or what I have done.
I was thinking about having the first 100 drawings I've made so far, and print them, give them a webpage, kind of a showing case/portfolio, even if there're not as professional, or not even in the hobbyist notation, or maybe it might be. Then show it in a place where they can see what I draw, only because it's fun to me to draw. But even I am afraid of showing this to most of the people I know.
I tried, but I think I need to try harder.
But I hope to continue, at least fulfilling this year's resolutions, that aren't clearly made but I can show them.
I feel like a trembling in my emotional zone. Disruption of area by the Impact of a Message, a blow of the mind of someone who can easily throw those ideas effectively without hesitation and doubt. My counter response was nullified, was stopped by my own Resource of Equilibrium before the action was made.
Why could be that, the Internet, having a wide variety of sorts, can be limited on the actions in real life?
The actions made in real life are much huge than the Internet can recollect. Basically all the same thing. Kinda gloomy the last statement. That's why people give meanings and think about it.
A bunch of data saved on servers made by people, the fact that the people have made it has its own repercussions, both in space, and in time, in popularity, and importance by the ones who pointed to that data. Some people don't realize it, what that data could affect in others' minds. I can maintain my own position by the fact that this blog is still ongoing, since its start. But it's popularity isn't as great as others.
I could say nothing is more important than the fact I was making the things wrong since start. Insecurity after insecurity, after a desperation to write something, to express myself, to let out everything of myself, to give all to destroy all those bindings who were limiting myself, emotional and mentally. And also my ability to write things without saying to much. And receive appreciation, and kindness, and nice words, and pageviews, at least if someone could have seen it. It's a plus.
And, I still think that my world that is outside of the screen of the Digital World is still uncomfortable, because mainly all what I do here is not projecting to the Real World, I don't know if my family sees what I do, or what I have done.
I was thinking about having the first 100 drawings I've made so far, and print them, give them a webpage, kind of a showing case/portfolio, even if there're not as professional, or not even in the hobbyist notation, or maybe it might be. Then show it in a place where they can see what I draw, only because it's fun to me to draw. But even I am afraid of showing this to most of the people I know.
I tried, but I think I need to try harder.
But I hope to continue, at least fulfilling this year's resolutions, that aren't clearly made but I can show them.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
And then we have another year:
Alternative Title: Hello 148th post... >////<
And I should address that I haven't got the time to make a final post of the year, where I should have made the stats of the year. I should do it right now.
(I just need to get into my mind how I made the last one)
Since May 1st 2011 I have published with this a total of 148 posts, trying to explain my progressive actions of life about being shy and trying to expose and express myself to the world, sharing what I see and what I learn from you.
Having DeviantArt, twitter, Tumblr deleted but its going to going online again, and other related User-name things, my stand upon the name of Erick Medina as a "Standard Nerd Boy" has provided me motivation to follow my life into making nice things.
Now I have 4 stories, I should make more, maybe double it. I had like 3006 page views overall, minus the 1251 of the overall of last year, so last year was the most visited. The 2 most visited blog post of this year were, "A Majora's Mask Post", and the poem post "The sound of Silence"
Expectation was to finish last year with 128 posts, but time shortage and a lot of things to do (including developer's work >///<) made me wanted to ending in 64 posts, but I just got 51.
What I'll do is, make 12 more posts including this, what I'll name: "The posts I'll should do time ago", in which I would do some posts I could have done at certain age of my life, I'm having a bit of an issue if I plan to do it once in a month, because, of maybe not, if I double again to 128 post expectation, for each month at most I should do 11 posts, so, 12 posts a month is going to be fine. And we could finish it the end of the year at 256 posts. Hehe such a binary nerd >///<
First thing to think is ask if I'll change my background of this post. And then do it, make a little layout change. And think for the first 12 posts of this month. It's January the 5th so we're going to start at a great pace :3 Hope now it works, or maybe I'll try to make a variation if possible.
So, have a nice good year and hope to see you here more often :3
And I should address that I haven't got the time to make a final post of the year, where I should have made the stats of the year. I should do it right now.
(I just need to get into my mind how I made the last one)
Since May 1st 2011 I have published with this a total of 148 posts, trying to explain my progressive actions of life about being shy and trying to expose and express myself to the world, sharing what I see and what I learn from you.
Having DeviantArt, twitter, Tumblr deleted but its going to going online again, and other related User-name things, my stand upon the name of Erick Medina as a "Standard Nerd Boy" has provided me motivation to follow my life into making nice things.
Now I have 4 stories, I should make more, maybe double it. I had like 3006 page views overall, minus the 1251 of the overall of last year, so last year was the most visited. The 2 most visited blog post of this year were, "A Majora's Mask Post", and the poem post "The sound of Silence"
Expectation was to finish last year with 128 posts, but time shortage and a lot of things to do (including developer's work >///<) made me wanted to ending in 64 posts, but I just got 51.
What I'll do is, make 12 more posts including this, what I'll name: "The posts I'll should do time ago", in which I would do some posts I could have done at certain age of my life, I'm having a bit of an issue if I plan to do it once in a month, because, of maybe not, if I double again to 128 post expectation, for each month at most I should do 11 posts, so, 12 posts a month is going to be fine. And we could finish it the end of the year at 256 posts. Hehe such a binary nerd >///<
First thing to think is ask if I'll change my background of this post. And then do it, make a little layout change. And think for the first 12 posts of this month. It's January the 5th so we're going to start at a great pace :3 Hope now it works, or maybe I'll try to make a variation if possible.
So, have a nice good year and hope to see you here more often :3
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