This is the moment where I post 10 random reasons why I hiatus this blog for more than 180 days.

I'll be quick on this:

1. I'm struggling depression more than ever. This may be something I didn't want to admit, because I wasn't sure about it. But the more I put my effort over bumps and doors, the more I feel the burnout and the harsh feelings I get when thinking a lot. I hate that from happening, maybe it's a signal I should slow down a bit, or maybe be more organized. Somehow I"m trying to settle things down before I continue.
2. I  get to engrossed into watching streams rather than going into the creative process. I guess that's how I was coping with my emotions. That would calm my nerves an feel I was part of something.
3. Social interactions was hard to manage, because there was not a single time where all could have talked to me first and started a conversation. I don't know if that could have been overwhelming, but then I try to reach people in a hard way I could fin my own way to communicate, I feel I made a progress, but I feel I could go for more.
4. Time and time, even though I was able to manage it regardless, somehow there was something I was starting to miss every time I wanted to do something. Again schedule is on the way.
5. Drawings, and drawings again, and thinking the possibility to make the perfect drawing to explain a force of expression that shows something wonderful.
6. People again, not receiving feedback on what I do, it's hard to make something without feedback, feel like there is no motivation to continue, but still I like drawing and I hope to continue even still things get rough, 10-20 minutes a day would suffice.
7. Thoughts of life, again, what orientation I would give this time to this blog, I've always wonder if I could place more meaningful and fun stuff over here.
8. Finding new things to get stories and lots of neat stuff to share, because sharing is a nice way to start a conversation.
9. Becoming a better person, and therefore try to put my motivation to people so they can go with the issues of their life too.
10. Because I know I don't want to let 2017 be a postless year, I will try to put all my emotions into central so that I can share in a better way and with all the force possible. Because that is what I like too.

I hope this explains why I need some space, well it's not that I was alone all the time not that I left other space, hope I can make good use to it :3

Lift Ups and Slow Downs

    It's February, and we should we getting a nice writing today (despite people telling me not to, but then it's for writing that I get the idea of Life Renovation, so, it's kinda like a process >w<)
 
    A month of lots of stuff but on this day I can spend it to see if my writing skills can make me put some more elaborate and detailed stuff about me so I can make it faster.
See, when I wanted to comment on other topics, say on dA and other pages, I was afraid, or maybe I didn't have lots of stuff to say to make it worth a comment, just even a "Oh that's a nice drawing" thing and that's it. I've always thought of my comments beforehand and I would take like, 10 min or so to make one worth it. Now I can make it in less than 1 minute the enough comment and the even worth comments like in 5 min. So that's  a progress.

    I would take my blog to write like less than an hour, lets see if I can make it in less than ten. Starting from this point:

    So I still have that anxiety of mine but I can't seem to look at it because, well I'll try to explain in my stream of ideas. I get so anxious when I get lots of data to process. I tend to have that obsession of processing  data. And I really shouldn't be doing so because I don't know, I need to relax sometimes right? x3

   I really want to give a try to game development, to improve my programming skills, I see lots of people that makes the huge effort and discipline to concentrate on do stuff until finish and get good results and feedback about what are they doing.

    Games like Touhou and Undertale, where one person is responsible for most if not all of the stuff involving a game, that's a really good motivation point to give a try and say, let's make a game for ourselves. And if I know I don't have all the resource and time to make it happen, what I can do is  still learn, ask people, get into, get stuff, learn from them.

    I don't know if I can get or even recover what I've done on my college days, but I have to try, it's still the same kinda to make something than to review something. If I ever knew how to maintain code I might get to know that it would be so important to maintain, so I haven't lost anything and so.

    Oh, an on to the main topic, I got some feedback from one of the ones who inspired me to keep it up, that I should live to society and have to do stuff that can make me go to the next level. Programming isn't the great deal if one could think. It's a very hard work to do, but it's like the first step if we want to give a shot on everything we need to get into. I don't know they say it because they don't have lots of leaders or so or if some dream idea from them, but it's good to make a follow.

    But then I have that downside where, my emotions can get over me at times, and I kinda go the flow of darkness if I would like to say like that, but I know I shouldn't be following that. It's like, people expect you to do something, though they don't need to tell you how, just expect things, you know how to solve it. But I don't know, if people can get the idea of how I feel. Well really they don't I shouldn't be generalizing that kind of useless stuff. I should keep going forward, but I have to keep my hype up, and the people who wants to follow me are the ones I'll get the stuff done.

   Because, after the lost of most of my data, thinking that I would get a inspiration from that wouldn't be helping a lot, Internet grows a lot on data, and people still have data in their hands. But trying to remind what I did kinda reminds me of the things I can't recover now, but if I didn't make importance of this stuff is maybe because it wasn't that important at the moment, maybe some is more now but, I can really make it over again if a thing is better to be done. Past stuff is past stuff, so, I'll give my time to recreate all the stuff I can show, and learn more from it.

   So, conclusion of my 10 minute writing, I have that feeling of really making stuff, just that, well, people say, not to give a thing about writing and just do it, don't make your dreams be dreams/
But then, I write it so I can settle things, so I can say, oh I'm really gonna do it x3

    I'll just keep ground, stay away from obsession, focus on what to do and which things I need to get to make stuff done, if I need to learn more stuff, if I need to be in touch with more people, who knows, maybe I can make things better this time.

Hello and let's get started again.

   I guess I'll make lots of explanations on why this blog has been stopped or not being able to continue all along. It's simple. First there is not a lot of feedback, and second I mostly talk about myself and stuff. Not a lot of people would be interested on what I say, unless some can be related to what I'm saying here.

    It's been days of lots of confusion and days where I say, why I'm doing this, but seems that's more comfortable for now to struggle all of what I'm doing so I can't get out and face bigger problems. I have bigger problems so much, I can't rely only on my own position any more. Because, let's think about it a little bit: one person, introverted and reserved in its own position, shattered by the external forces, not being able to recover from that, even if in the most of the efforts it could do it, turns out he can't revert that personal position. Feeling sad about this, all of that is thought about lots and lots of times. And by the time of consumption it may take away all what he was before....

    I've lost lots of things last year, sadly. Not being able to recover or do something about it. Also I put lots of important things aside, and people around, even if telling me to do something about it, it's still on the same position. I feel like only being just there not doing lots of stuff, and more than ever with the recent situation, I've lost most of my data available of recovery. Not that I can worry of that any more, but it's that feeling that it only remembers you the past but it can't be recovered by normal means.

    Now I'm in a position I feel scared about myself, how I can treat people with a hole on my mind and heart. Feel like if something could be mentioned and I might fall again deep into the dark. And it's hard to recover from those feelings of anxiety and despair. I know all what I have to do isn't going to be easy. I would need a force way too stronger than the force I was maintaining to keep on my own track. But somehow there is like a subtle feeling of freedom, that subtle thing you tell yourself you can now freely go around and be truly yourself, without really feeling guilty about lots of stuff going around.
Now, last year strategy of the gimmick deviation of thoughts and ideas, I know I wasn't going to maintain all that, not because I couldn't, because that was only a main part to evade all thoughts and ideas that it may affect my position. If I  felt last time that I was again evading reality an my destiny, is because I was protecting myself from being hurt, again. And really, protecting myself from data, so I can't be overwhelmed, so I can't become someone I don't want, someone that might get anger thoughts, trying to reclaim things I can't get.

    Internet has been a struggle too for Introverts who only wanted to feel secure and listened by other people too. but I can tell all what I've been through has been because of the support of lots of people who care who I am and let me be who I am too. It's a nice feeling to finally grasp this point and not trying to rely only on my own positions and my own retributions. It's not that I don't want to do it, it's just that, being in the position I am right now, I can't let my own thoughts to be wandering around me. People shouldn't let me try to handle my thoughts alone, and again, not that I can't eventually, it's just because it would be easier to cope with my situation of anxiety and all the last stuff happened.
If something good can come out of this, is that I might be finally able to construct lots of things that are more reliable now to exist, rather that all the past of what it has been. It was good at that stage, but if I can improve that, I would feel better to myself, I would live the present more.

    With that in mind, I'm aiming to achieve lots of stuff that might do a new generic data that will help me understand myself better, which helps me spend more my time to get things done, to learn, to share, to make content, to make renewed ideas from the past one, to really focus on essential things that really gives me the realization of what I'm going to do, at least for this year.

    So yeah, anyone who wants to keep up with my adventures you are welcome to follow this blog and keep up what I do, it could be drawings, it could be writing stuff, it could be anything. It's my space I'm sharing for all of you who visit here, but I'm open to suggestions and anything I can give a good answer, so thanks for all your support :B

"A Nerd's Adventure" turns 4

    And with that, and despite the disconnection with this blog, we achieved 170 blog posts overall, being more famous:  This story, and this important post.
    Kinda that two posts were meaningful, because of the impact of the information provided, and also because of stats :B And curiously it had to happen continuously. Maybe because of lots of things that happened on that day, but still it's has been harsh to maintain a position and place things to do in between other important things to do.
    Need to be organized on that in order to maintain the position again and make an equilibrium of data x3. But yeah, hope to get into thins more often and still share nice things with you.

The moment I realize I don't often realize about life...

Last week of the year is here now, and I'm using my position of User giving the name of Erick Medina, a.k.a. StndNerdBoy11, publishing on a kinda forgotten blog, "A Nerd's Adventure", making statements about this year, based on lots of experiences.

This year has been one with lots of changes and adaptations, if I'm still saying evolution has been a tough process is because of those changes, unexpected changes, unthinkable changes, things I have been not considering. It's not that this year hasn't been productive, in fact, well, if some things weren't done as expected, all what results are just learnings of life, and knowledge recollection.

But I can say, I've been through lots of things. I hope in this I can explain most of it:
Starting the year, I wasn't expecting too much of anything, just living a normal productive day-life as a developer, making programs as a main, drawing and writing as a hobby. I was a boy, I'm still a boy, not that I wanted to look it into that perspective but, I was of the kind of the ones that its only there when needed, nothing more productive than that. In a way, it was unproductive and far from the mission I was undertaking, putting aside the main part. There was a lot of learning from that though, organization of code and team structure, it wasn't hard. But then, I don't know if it was me or it was the others, somehow I didn't fit in them. It's not purely because of introversion, because of some limiting things I have it was supposed to overcome on the daily basis. I think I was going to learn how to be noticed on trial and error. But most of the time, they let me be, they weren't precise what to do, they were in a way ignoring me. Even though I was feeling fine I could do lots of things, in a way not doing a real thing to do was frustrating and it was leading me to no where.

Meanwhile, you know I have made nice drawings on my deviantArt account, mostly covering main characters, some after-year expression, happiness on the show, my birthday (that drawing looks awesome), some commission and contest entry and then some entries of the world cup.

But by the time "Frustration over Passion" was made, a bending of events was emerged.

A disruption of the bonding protection happened, on one of the many dimensions far away. Not giving any details about it, but there is one thing to know, when that happens, everything trembles, and in real life, that hurt me. As a User-type, one is willing to protect the boundary and the actions and channel the energy to positive towards its followers and known people. Knowing that a common bond is broken and not accessible anymore, meaning a response from the destination was not received, it really questions the power and the use someone is giving to the people to use it. But I guess that was the thing I couldn't made a lot of effort because of things. I don't want to feel guilty about it, because somehow I know, there is no need for me to act on this aspect.

But putting aside the disruption of the bonding protection, it wasn't the mere event, but of how common it was with the main part, how I wanna achieve things, and how important life is, and what not to do.... Looking it that way, it's hard to grasp it.

From that part, there was a misleading handling and a main position of keep the change and feel a goal must be achieved to feel something was doing right on this year. Not to say each day we don't achieve anything, but then its normal to feel we need to get higher, its in our human nature. Motivated by the Social First achievements of mid-year, it was time for me to do my own.

Based on what I have done, I told myself to go higher into new positions, and if necessary, make some sacrifices that won't affect lots of my everyday doing. So by the end of the third trimester, by the opportunity and help of the main Social Second, I decided to change what I was doing with the development of software, at least to feel more into my zone and be more productive. That process, was so difficult to make, because it was my first time, and because of the unexpected situations it could arise from that. So, in order to do that, all my focus went to maintain my own emotional thoughts into overcome real shyness and trembling, serious real social talking, and authority confrontation if necessary.

I still wonder how did I manage to do that, I still wonder if it was the right decision, because sacrifices of time/space were made. If all 2013 was difficult to me to draw because of other issues than 2012, this year it was a little even more difficult. Gaming, new opening of bondings, emotional channeling, frustration on the wait, lots of real issues to attend and space invasion in order to get a little more space in the end. I was in stand-by, but still blinking in light. It was still a moment of transition but, low-profile.

By the time the process was done, I was ready to start fresh new, with things I would know actually and with people I could gladly interact without a hassle, despite of what would they say. I would say on that part, it has been great. And somehow I found a point where I can happily do and share. I can say a symbolic evolution was opened to be reclaimed. The last 3 months, it was, waiting for the process of the new main to be made, Social First encounters, a November of adaptation and a December of structuring. Time has been a rival to face, but then, these last two weeks are to make peace with time. I'm not Page of Time for nothing :P

My mission here now is, for the next new year to come, is to return my normals before the third trimester, handle the process crystal clear, generate a revolution of ideas, handle the input and output of data, social data, notifications, requirements, in an objective positive way, take some notes on what to change and what to keep or discard. I'm still nervous and afraid I can't go through all of it, and in a way I kept on upgrading what I need to fulfill those needs.

I feel, expectations are forming for the next year, because, I really want to show all, what I can really do. It's just a matter of motivation and support of all of you, and the will to keep forward.

For now, I can take this moment to organize everything and make a good restart this next year.

Thanks to all of you for going with me this year!

Childish Ideas, and Joyful Memorandums

Sorry if I talked about this before, but I didn't find on my other posts something similar to this. (Hope I don't repeat it)

And another sorry if it gets a little gloomy on my way to talk, not too harsh but not a happy thing too.

     April 30th, here in Mexico, is Children's Day.  Expectations on why this day is unknown. But well, just figures.

     I had a bunch of ideas as I child. Those were kinda decisive on the way I am now. The thing is, I'm not the child I was, in terms of, my personality on when I was a child has been in a lower state, but not in terms of actions and events or happy things, but because of some personality I had. 

     I was the guy I can do lots of things at School, like any other child, I would play ball at recess, be in a certain spot with other classmates, having fun while playing tag or when hiding. But also I had that belief of being good in class. I got very good in class. In fact I felt different from others. I knew I was the best in the class. I knew I had to prove it to everyone.

     Third grade, some new guy enters school, one of the first challenges was to overcome him in grades, he was good too. I got focused on him. Until 6th grade, he was a challenging opponent. People would technically notice that ambiance, mostly because me shouting at things. 

     Third grade, again. Some guy again, I was fooled by some magic trick he made on first grade. A challenging guy but I didn't made a proper trace, they say he was a genius but nothing else, I got him unnoticed. 

     Fourth grade, I knew who were the best, boys and girls, and who was the people that were being behind.  I felt the everyday challenge to be serious, even at home I made that possible. 

     Fifth and sixth grade, the start of a change, still unnoticed by that. My best friend, even if at home was a great companion, at school, he was a different person. I wouldn't care, I mostly spent my recess alone, with other people, playing at the most unusual places at school, I didn't talk at school, and somehow I got hated by people, my own classmates, because of my personality, who wouldn't stop telling my expertise of action, and because of my lack of caring. I wouldn't care, their talking were uncomfortable to me, I didn't like it. 

Their games was the only thing I got. 

I had friends 2 years before elementary school ending. And then everything would change....

     Weird experiences as a child, such as unexpected kissing (regardless who they were... o.o), tickle fight of death (hehe), handslap resistance (I don't know how I did like that at 6th grade, it was one day), lots of rejection, lots of crying, and lots of misunderstanding, from my parents, from my classmates, from my teachers, and from my friends.

     Little they know if they let me go on my own, I wouldn't continue the same way, and that's what I thought as a child.

-----------------

     And my little brother brought a couple of friends home. They brought games, Smash Bros Brawl, Zelda, Mario Party and others. I got beaten at one match, but as he see is as a nice victory, I just say, it was just the controller...

    Then I showed them Pokemon X, one friend was good telling which pokemon were, but he also needs to know whose type are super effective/not very effective against other pokemon.

     That's one of the things I can share on people they still to know about life, my brother being different from myself, doing a great job. I hope he gets better.

-------------------

Aaand...

     Some notification reminded me around this month about something I just forgot. There is something I want to tell, I don't know if the title can be the proper one, oh wait, I had one. 

"The one who Introduced me to the Internet World"

It's a rather off-topic title, with a nice meaning. I just need to do it...

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And tomorrow, "A Nerd's Adventure" hits it's Third Anniversary.

I don't know if three years are a lot but I think it is. :)

When things are easy enough to do

     Hello. I don't know what I am doing right now , but I think I am writing something.  Looks like my words are too simple to say sometimes and I can't find a better way to write better things like this. I maybe struggle when I want to say an idea, but then I wonder if I can only do it again. 

In fact, I'm having a weird time. Trying to write while the taxi drives me home...

     It could be a crazy thing to do that, but in order to get a good idea, I will  have to do it this way. I will  continue posting regardless of what I  can receive as retribution,  or at least one or more ways to convince people I'm still here.

     And after a day or two trying to write something, I guess it's time for an addition to the data, and a little bit of information. I'm going to redact what are going to be my next postings on here, and I think I have enough elements to make a new design. Not structural design, but at least the background and the header of the blog. Hope to do something good this year. :3

And then we have another year:

Alternative Title: Hello 148th post... >////<

And I should address that I haven't got the time to make a final post of the year, where I should have made the stats of the year. I should do it right now.
(I just need to get into my mind how I made the last one)

Since May 1st 2011 I have published with this a total of 148 posts, trying to explain my progressive actions of life about being shy and trying to expose and express myself to the world, sharing what I see and what I learn from you.
Having DeviantArt, twitter, Tumblr deleted but its going to going online again, and other related User-name things, my stand upon the name of Erick Medina as a "Standard Nerd Boy" has provided me motivation to follow my life into making nice things.

Now I have 4 stories, I should make more, maybe double it. I had like 3006 page views overall, minus the 1251 of the overall of last year, so last year was the most visited. The 2 most visited blog post of this year were, "A Majora's Mask Post", and the poem post "The sound of Silence"

Expectation was to finish last year with 128 posts, but time shortage and a lot of things to do (including developer's work >///<) made me wanted to ending in 64 posts, but I just got 51.
What I'll do is, make 12 more posts including this, what I'll name: "The posts I'll should do time ago", in which I would do some posts I could have done at certain age of my life, I'm having a bit of an issue if I plan to do it once in a month, because, of maybe not, if I double again to 128 post expectation, for each month at most I should do 11 posts, so, 12 posts a month is going to be fine. And we could finish it the end of the year at 256 posts. Hehe such a binary nerd >///<

First thing to think is ask if I'll change my background of this post. And then do it, make a little layout change. And think for the first 12 posts of this month. It's January the 5th so we're going to start at a great pace :3 Hope now it works, or maybe I'll try to make a variation if possible.

So, have a nice good year and hope to see you here more often :3

Standing my position...

    I was searching something to write, then inspiration came some time ago when Internet reminds you of how weird your life was before, and how some people has better stats on different areas you wanted to be better. Curiously enough, I had the idea from days ago, only that I couldn't remember today. Glad I had, because I can express my feelings, ooh those feelings. Just to add today was kinda stressful, but this is other thing to do.
    People do things, people has activities they do on their free time. I just write and I’m on constant learning, fixing word errors. And I’m comfortably sit on the sofa drinking a nice coffee without caffeine while having a nice snack, getting up for occasional necessary trips around the house. Also I’m looking at my notebook and my computer with lots of open files, and then visiting lots of pages, then listening to music and still continue writing, thinking about those times when I visit someone else’s page and see, how wonderful his life is right now....
    All of those are for lots of pages I had visited, and they are about what they publish and comment, how can make with their posts a nice interaction with other users, typing and blogging lots of things. I can’t understand how they can live in those worlds, and then look fine or look terrified about it, whatever their emotion they had right now. But then I just see their experiences and how much they have developed their position of their User-type. That’s impressing. Even though I knew Internet for a nice time, I just can’t stop admiring those who started before me, and saw all possibilities to be themselves or to be someone better that eventually they will become themselves.
    In my life, I was searching for lots of things to happen, and in so many times, all those things didn't happen, no matter how I struggled to make it happen. So when I look someone doing the things I wished it could happen to me, I get somewhat sad. Plain sad. I might get depressed, or envious, maybe a bit dreamy, imaging myself really in that specific place. I might have been a little bit happier.
    But then there is this part that I don’t realize what I’m saying. That part of me that can’t grasp the reality on the society I live: the dazing streets at night, the various clothing and their themed shirts, all what they carry on their backpacks, including trading cards, game consoles, some snack or notebook, or their favorite plushie. Their constant learning on memorizing their favorite scenes to be repeated with their friends and beyond over and over again, the stories that they tell, and the stories of the stories they tell about events, like a chain of events starting since childhood, all their music influence and the eventual definition of points of view, and of course their lack of fear of telling all the above....
    That makes me think, if I don’t have one of those they mostly talk about, or they could all easily agree, will I never be part of that something I used to talk the Nerd-Type, those otaku-geek-gamer people they talk about all those manga-anime things? But then there are the programmer-developer-designer ones who talk about lots of what they do or what they see, and even more there is me who sees a lots of those people and feel that in neither can fit in.... And then, a concept upraises upon after all those experiences: I just feel I can’t fit properly in any of those groups, or I feel that whatever thing I say it might not be on the group, they could disband me from their group of friends.... In other words, a misfit, the one who can’t think on one thing without thinking of another, the one who searches for the proper definition of the things without altering the order of life. The one that  fears what he can say, the one who can’t show all of what he likes because another person can do it better, or because other person doesn't like it; the one who can’t stand upon himself and tell people they have a wrong concept of himself, the one no one else considers, the one who wanted a specific thing and didn't realize the value he was giving to them.
    Just because I don’t talk a lot, I don’t do a lot like them, I don’t express like them, or can’t show any feeling like them, doesn't mean that I DON’T LIKE being with them. I was just there, but nothing else.... I don’t know why they didn't tell me I was just losing time.... But then they were nice to me, then, their Pokemon, Dragon Ball or yu-gi-oh things they were talking, their gaming they only wanted to hear or their expertise on those games, all of those lead me to step back to them and feel small compared to them. But then, they didn't know how I was feeling at that time, I’m still able to confide my emotions from everyone else....
    My lack of experience is my most fear, or I fear I feel someone has more experience than I am…. And those that are around me tell me that I don’t worry, but they don’t know they induced me to that liking and that I should do something special about it. That’s the main thing I can have FRIENDS I can rely on. But then the chain was broken way before I met them, so.... I don’t know if they can really understand what I’m posting right know, if they really care about it. Then feel the pity to me and telling me to stay strong, and starting a chain of apologies, but that’s not the chain I want.
    Because other people don’t consider what I do, or what I can do to match the position they are, doesn’t mean I won’t stand behind on expressing myself who I am and the position and in which I am right now. I have base, I only have to express more openly to everyone else. I won’t care if else can’t understand that. Because I can base on myself, and on the ones we’re still on this.
    I just need a little sleep and a little bit of hey everybody, I’m still here. In other words, promotion. That’s why I thank every little bit of consideration towards me, because with that I can assure I can be still on this and then, I can show you amazing things. Have hope and support in me and you’ll see.
    So for this matter, and in the position of this username,  I’m still here, and I count on you.

"Because for myself I must stand the position for what I like and for what I do, share it with you"

Suddenly you feel like you evolved, but...

     I haven't feel any change, at all. Or it seems like it didn't change a little. In fact..., I have a strong love of my design made for this blog, or maybe because I don't have lots of time to see it. At least I want that a hundred of people could see this blog, look at it and tell me if they like it as it is, or if I really change it.
     So, what did I prepared,, mostly personal issues to be resolved, shyness suppression at its most (I'm still shy though >//<), the eminent return of Richie (man, I need your conversations more often, fresh ideas, aand,a desire for support and promotion >///<, I'm not too emotional for promotion nor I can tell if love or if friendship or if life or if people, but hope I can not focus on you and try to be myself at the same time.
I'll look at every thing or writing I have/had in mind and reproduce it again, hopefully to get more attention to it.
    Also, more drawings and surprising things... so hope we can take a good retribution from all of it :P

Evolution Process - Final Adjustments

I know that I'll would make a evolution process and such, but guess what? I'm almost over.
It's just that, I didn't have time to do it, need some drawings to make, so yeah, it will be a new "A Nerd's Adventure" design, hehe.
Not just it, I've come with new ideas to share, first, a new post series that I called "VideoGames I played as a Boy" [or maybe??], where I'll share all the games I played and didn't have a chance to share it to others, maybe here's a great place to make this. Also, I'm preparing some stories in my mind, I know that part is difficult (or the most difficult) part to develop, so many points and making good linking of events. And also I'll post some more videogames/anime/tech things, maybe programs? maybe programming progress on some projects? Or maybe one someone may be interested to hear :B
I'm giving the effort to maintain this blog as active as I can, I'm not giving up this so easily, or maybe I've been thinking on arrange some posts and place them in another blog, but I haven't think that seriously. I've been into so many things, I may lose some ideas, but I'm willing to keep a steady pace, that's one of the reasons I haven't really make this to happen yet. Let's hope to get this thing going :B

Hard Reset, Soft Reset

    In the process of making my evolution faster, some actions have to be done. I’m trying to make a simple yet affordable retribution in which time is required. Also, some more grammatically correct sentences, more common phrases and a whole bunch of ideas to develop. And also an increasing in recourse, which it will be helpful to provide me with the right tools to work. I’m just glad I’m making the choices that are most likely to lead me to where I’m going to be.
    Do you remember how to turn off the computer? What’s the proper method to close it?  When talking about electronic devices, especially computers, a large process of verification is made when you turn it on.  When the computer shuts down, another whole bunch of verification is made before electricity goes down around the circuits of the device.
    If some problem arises and you can’t shut down your computer, you can simply cut of the electricity and it will turn off by itself. But the problem with that is the computer can’t save random data and other features to save before the operative system shutdown. It’s still a possible case, but the computer will ask you to see what happened and if the computer can solve it if really it happened something bad.
    Well, putting aside the last thing I said, the process of data gathering and data responsibility is a lot.  Most of the people can’t understand their data will be stored there permanently, until proper review is done. Most user deletions on sites sometimes get all its content deleted, but not on everything, the only way to know if  user content will be deleted after all user deletion are, well there are two ways. One is by reading the site policy, and second by seeing the behavior of users who have been already deleted their accounts. The second one is more noticeable as you can see if their posts are still there while when he disappears from the user position of the site.
    Referring as if we have to make a review of content or not, well, that’s the reason for hard reset or soft reset: if you do it the hard mode, you’ll expect to not having control of what you have posted and it’s up to the site to determine if delete it or not. If you do it soft mode, you’ll have to check if everything is in order, and if there is something to take from before it’s too late. Maybe you want to get proper data because you don’t have it in your computer and you’ll need to go to that page to view it. Hopefully most of the sites a user sites have a nice mode to review all of what you have posted, and lots of methods to manage and delete data. The way they gave a user the property of managing its own data easily is the way they give the power to manage the things he can post and control. It’s giving it control of the data to the user, and the user should be able to control most of it. It’s all of what he’s posting and it’s a great responsibility, even if they don’t see it like it.
    Hard mode reset is useful only if you know what you’re doing. Soft mode reset is useful only if you want to get important data, and if you know things are going to be resolved elsewhere, and if they could leave a trace to that and you prefer evade it.
    Somehow evolution is still near, I don’t know why I’m delaying it....

I'm starting another week, and suddenly...

    I have this desire to write, to express myself, to see how much I can do, how many people I can meet, I can interact, I can talk to. It's going to go a nice and fun way to do it. But somehow I can't find the fun about it, yet. Maybe because I'm concentrated on trying the best in this post.

    Last night's post, even if very late, was well made. I made a review of certain things, and also reviewed some notifications, and cleaned my room, I'm making some progress in a few hours. Well in fact, a few hours are needed for making fast activities that it can do on daylight.

    I don't know if last post I said I was kinda sad, oh I remember it was on tumblr. I'm kinda sad, because of so many changing events that I can't get out of my head. I know that feel of getting in a weird world, I wonder how when I was younger can handle better all of this.... What it bothers me is, all my effort made to increase my experience was reverted a little bit, because of my easily-offended mind. I wasn't prepared for receiving opposing ideas from unknown people. Saying that they don't think as you sounds a little threatening, but sometimes, it's kind of weird to see, to know now, that it isn't the way I should see the comments of real people. People react differently on opposing ideas, depending on how well they know each other, or how strong the idea is. The fact is that people who can't see the situation really won't say a lot from it, and those who really do get its waves shaken.

    It hurts to be against the wall so many times, that wall that prevents me from falling, but all those high-frequency waves that adds up with my normal frequency, makes the wall tremble sometimes. The wall has enough strength to handle all that undesired frequency, but still the impact is done, and of course I receive all that frequency without any guard. It feels like lightning....

    I get happiness easily, I get sadness easily, I get other emotions easily. Even my always-protected emotion of affection and love. If some person would discover it at its fullest, it would be a great resource. It seems to be my best guarded resource.

    I'm denying I'm different from others, that I need to express myself differently from what I'm doing. I get a lot of struggles not expressing the way I am, and what I want is to express in an humble way. I'm always saying that and I'm always changing my mind in doing various things, sometimes daring things that challenges me a lot.

   I'll review what things I want to write more, and try to solve all problems.

Writing in the morning, while making things in mind....

    I’m having a lot of struggle in my life, in any aspect of me, something that is supposed to be done, something that has to happen. The worst part is that my mind cannot accept it, in some way. I know a big change is about to happen and I’m feeling that I’m not prepared to take all of this, maybe because of insecurity, maybe because of usual Introversion, maybe because of fear, maybe because I wasn't a normal boy, maybe because I had not the experience from normal activities from friends or else. And I feel like frustrated feeling that even with all my efforts and all of my attributions and focus and motivations. My always lack of experience will make my mind doubt.
    Why can’t accept it? Because I must surrender a lot of things, take a lot of things as done, finish what I couldn't finish at other time, with other result, an unexpected result, but it must be done. I don’t feel sometimes that the time flow is normal. I can be lost for long periods of time, wandering out of the nowhere, it seems weird, but I don’t care a lot. Only evading the everyday pressure, and getting a lot of insecurities and doubts in a determined time.
    I can feel a little bit of depression of emotions, a little bit of emotional alteration, a little bit of lack of reason, a little bit of absentmindedness. Even though my base and my Near Position are quite maintainable, feeling all of this anyway is quite uneventful. It’s not that it must happen every day, or once a week. I can only feel how I get deep and deep and not wanting to do anything else.
    I don’t know how to talk about all of this, because it’s only an event, not of everyday issue. I know I have this problem and somehow a solution must be done.

    Meh, even in here I’m not sure how to continue.... :I, I just have to maintain my main position.
    Ok, my reason to write this post is gone, maybe because of being a little tired, hopefully I get more inspiration, and I’ll search and write it out.

By the way, in case you didn't noticed, we have passed the 2nd Anniversary of the start of the first blog, so yeah, I did remember it, just that I didn't have the chance of writing something about it. :P

The Standing Position and Rise of Erick Medina

..., which means, the username StndNerdBoy11 is making a standing position to establish commitments and state of base on the content of all the posts made.
    It’s hard to maintain everything. Only a very organized mind and a clear view on what’s what we have to do in a day is a difficult task. Constantly posting comments, posts, drawings, writings, and other interesting stuff has its effort and everybody who has been or is into the user-type community knows about it.
    Each user must be responsible for all content that they place/post in their web sites, trying to avoid things we don’t want everybody to know about it, or avoiding very strong emotional posts that may be regrettable later. In my opinion, I have been into a slightly objective position, with a little bit of emotional posting, but controlled enough so it cannot be a bother to anyone. If somebody cares about what I post, they would send me something about it.
    I make this post to make a nice statement upon the standing position of my nickname, that its planned development, whatever it is the Main Purpose of the Blog (overcoming shyness and posting nerdy things), or the contribution of idea and expression by writing and drawing, is going on progressive steps, depending on how ready I was to do new things. Fortunately I have improved a lot, but of course I have lot to learn.
    Making a little example: seeing all those people do things, normal things, normal things I wouldn’t do, my family wouldn’t do, neither other near people would do normal things. Searching for examples is difficult, if you don’t have an idea of what to find. I don’t easily see the things at first sight, but only if somebody would tell me and if it’s really OK with that I would follow it. I know there are things I won’t follow, but normal things I would do.
    The standing position of the username is clear and without any kind of harsh commotions and arguments without reason. And my position will filter whatever emotional event that I get in my mind and post only when calmness has been mostly controlled. The standing position is of course affected by all other posts, but it cannot show those, because in the objective motion of the username, it shouldn’t been affected by that, but in the position far from position, it’s a matter of caring of what blogs or users are important, because we care about what they post, and we feel the need of help, even though we can’t do a lot....

    I put my effort on my username position. And I know I need to maintain my position making constant updates and attending whoever is talking to me. Even though I haven’t experienced that recently, I haven’t lose hope, I just need to get more into attention, or more into getting into things they like more, especially if we can share it.

Erick: "So, every time I get out of character, or personality... hehe, just call me and remind me that..."
Richie: "The last post..."

Erick: "What? That was necessary..."
Richie: "You posted about broken love..."

Erick: "Because I can't understand why they can't have a normal life..."
Richie: "It is a normal life, just they are expressing it the way they see the most fit..."

Erick: "OK, but there are ways of doing it..."
Richie: "But still they are those persons..., they usually say if you don't like it..."

Erick: "OK, I know that story... only that my feelings..."
Richie: "You have said you won't talk about feelings..."

Erick: "Hey, I don't know how much patience you have, when this blog is without any visitor..."
Richie: "That's why I have to talk with this guy, Mr. Blogger"

Erick: "Mr Blogger?"
Richie: "Yeah the same. I want to ask some question on blog promotion. He sure knows what to do..."

Erick: "Oh.. ok..."
Richie: "And you should also be searching about blog promotion!! Your methods aren't worth enough..."

Erick: "All right, for the standing position of us and because we want to still get promotion... hehe..."

I know I have to search promotion, so let's be more precise and, search promotion :D

Being not a intimidation to online users

I feel strange...
..., because I can’t tell exactly how to react towards online propositions, requests, comments and other kind of retribution that either I made or that they do.
I know the essence of the Nick that is StndNerdBoy11 has a commitment of not being a bother to others making them uncomfortable to talk or refrain of doing something. That’s for sure, and if something is making you uncomfortable, just talk to me and I’ll make a solution. Because not because of my great sympathy and comprehension, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t dare to at least talk to one of you. Because if we are all users, is because our public position will confront others and have a great time with them.
Even if I’m the one who is shy upon new things, making comments and talk personally to each of you, I would like to have that interaction, to share and to practice, so I can gain confidence.
But then there are two things that seem to be a factor of regression that seems that the user’s not being cooperative to your kind requests. One is shyness to make a good response, and other is being absent at the computer, which it’s a common thing.
In fact, not being there all the time is very common. Because you won’t be all the time and you won’t ask to be all the time. The content of what you post is some proof that people would expect something from you at a certain time. If they would like to talk to you, they set a time to chat, or maybe something to get into you, or at least they send you an email.  Sending emails is the most common form of contact maintain, and if we’re patient enough, and if we are kind enough, we’re sure make a good response, but if we don’t, we don’t have to feel sad. Even if he may be a great user that you may admire, there sure are others that can share the same things.
I do have issues on this kind of situations. I would talk to somebody, saying hello or something, and most of the times I was rejected. I know I was very kind, but it was unlikely to respond. That’s why sometimes I don’t have courage of talking people....  maybe I just have to talk to everybody else just to know that I’m not insisting on one, and maybe somebody would respond as kind as expected.
So, whatever you are, I respect you, I have patience, I won’t pressure you, but just to know that you are awesome and I think we can share a lot of things, and have fun together.  :D

Pseudonym Attributions

    I was thinking some days ago about names and usages. I know I have a birth name, and I have a specific username. And I know I need names for characters and places. And I know not everybody uses their real name for social networking for having fun, unless your name would have a higher position in society. People usually use some kind of Japanese kind of name if they like anime, or some other name for avoiding weird situations.

    If they would not mind having their real name, is because of their reasons. But then it comes to my mind the word Pseudonym. This word defines the use of another name for artistic uses or for expression attributions. People have usernames, another name or something to be called to avoid cyber aggressions against society and on the Internet.

    But having pseudonyms means you develop art and you create art.


    So, I have a name that can make the above applicable to use:

    Erick Alejandro Medina Ramirez, in which it is an Original Character, and it can be a pseudonym of representation too. So, for the Status of Bonding, the relation would be: in the actual space of this post, the blog: “A Nerd’s Adventure” is updated by username StndNerdBoy11, this username, found by contact in his profile and by Google Gmail, prepending the <username>@gmail.com has a relation to an established pseudonym name, called Erick Medina. So if you hear the username StndNerdBoy11 you will know his name is Erick and that you can call him Erick anytime and he will correspond to that name.

    They say artists that want to use pseudonyms must have to accustom to be called by that name. I would like to be called by that new name, and it would be grateful that online friends can call me that way.

Erick: "And that’s my name."
Richie: "I know you have a name and that I have one too...."
Erick: "Yeah, even though you are guardian, you are part of myself. So you are like my conscious mind, and you won’t let me go crazy." 
Richie: "Hehehe, that’s my job to keep you on base and up to the goal. So Erick, are you accepting this name as yours, not just StndNerdBoy11, neither the Main Position, but Erick?"
Erick: "Of course, I feel like later I have to explain why I have an OC the same name as I, of course because this OC is me!" 
Richie: "So, with that they can call you and you will feel fine, right?"
Erick: "Yes. I’m just having a great time, even with my anxious moments, but we can increase it!" 

[And with this, my post 100th, I dare you to see it all. You'll find great things :D ]

A post while getting sleepy

Hello!
    Well, what I can say now...? Yeah, I can't make a proper post, because I'm sleepy, and I cannot write as fast as I can because it is hard to make a post in English or in Spanish on whatever language that good and I will. Well, what I can say now...? .Ok, then, my way of writing is kind of particular.  Don’t know what to say.
    I can tell you a story about a boy who has been at school and then he went to a store to buy a bunch of cards and then he got in trouble with his mother because he didn't buy the book of spells....
    Spells? Why spells? And why mom wants magic?
    I'm learning new things and stuff about using touch screens and it's kind of difficult to use, at first, because you are getting used to the writing system and other shortcuts for using it as clear as possible. Here are some typing techniques to use, so, maybe I'll find my own way to write those words better. I don't know, maybe I'll get better writing it and I can do better posts according to what I write.
    So, then, a little story: there is one boy who was standing against the wall. He was crying in silence. I could see tears flowing through his cheeks and he didn't bother cleaning his face. His hands were down, around his waist, closed, but not too much for giving a punch. I don't know why he was standing there, but I know he wasn't happy to be there. I felt I needed to help him and cheering him up a little bit. But I was afraid. I don't know why, but I was afraid. I just couldn't stand against his crying. I didn't know if my words would help him to stop crying so he could be happy again. But then he notices me, and soon after he came after me and hugged me. He was crying out loud and his tears were dampening my shirt. I don’t know what to do but to stay there with the boy. Besides, I am his friend....
    The book of spells was really a present of making magic tricks, and the bunch of cards were scattered around his bed....

Erick: "And this is what I call forward editing"
Richie: "In which I’m present now, right?" 
Erick: "Just because you are here it doesn’t mean that you will be too much on each post"
Richie: "Well, that depends if you save your dialogs well for each post to call me."
Erick: "I’ll do a greater post, and your participation will be greater"
Richie: "Ok, I got it. See you then...."
Erick: "Oh...."

[Richie knows how when to make the right complementary comments....]
[And first I tried to write it on other mobile and then finish editing on my laptop.... hehe]

First days of the year, and a doubt arises

Hello! Let’s start this New Year with lots of energy.

    But now, something I have been thinking lately as I was sorting my data: I know there’s going to be lots of interesting activities I want to do on this year, of greater value and meaning than the last year, only to prove that I can increase my will and dedication on something I like and on something I can improve.
    I want to change. That’s for sure. I know I’m doing the best I can to make a change or to have another type of events that happens around me, so I can be a subtle light, and so other people would see that light. All the time I spent on writing and drawing and chatting with people made me change and made me increase my confidence and my motivation to continue. I’m happy of that improvement and I’m happy that I can be a better user on this year.
    My always changing mind has been into a great battle of self-learning of life, expecting less from the best methods and always making new choices on the increasing of the data gathering. It is said that I won’t stay with a selected choice all the time, my effort will be constant on searching new ways, even if the ones I got can be enough to be happy or to have a pleasant life.
    That’s why I’m still trying, that’s why I’m not going to leave this behind. The great journey of the friendship and relationship bonds will be the ones I’m facing. New and more thrilling experiences, new and more exiting adventures.
    Now that I have enough experience, I can fully go on the user-type Motion and act normally, hehehe.... Only I need a formal introduction of level up and evolving... I think :P
    Just some doubt I have in mind.... Everything I have made was all by my own benefit and for the expression of someone’s mind, the actions made by one only person and the sites maintained by him.
 
 That is me.

    Other users would have another user from real life near them, and their friendship is as unique as every normal friendship would be. When they are on their computer, they would likely to connect each other and spend the night talking while posting their user sites and blogs and seeing others’ updates. This is not necessary my case.
    Even though I know people that they would do the same, I wasn't cool enough to approach to them at the correct time. But also I don’t follow a lot of what they usually do. I know some people would play with their Xbox360 some kind of fps game, others would play the Wii or the 3DS, I don’t know which game.... Others are more occupied hanging out with their friends I don’t know which place of the city. Others are just having other things in their mind...., others have certain games to play, but most of them have their user-type related on their main social network, so, nothing special.
    The only ones who seem to have a special user-type are people distant from my place of action. This means, if I maintain my normal flow, there would be hardly a chance I would encounter and meet them. There’re like one person or two that I have met; nothing very special, but at least something appreciable. So, yeah, I’m only here for my own benefit.

    The ones they know me know that I draw, and if I show them they would look delightful for the skills I have, but nothing special past that. And the ones that I know they have a special user-type have their own circle of friends. I have friends too, even if not fully considered verbally, only that I’m not too good at insisting, and also I can’t deny the fact I’m of the few ones that I have the sites that I have now.
    But then, I see other users and I’m impressed of the level of position when they post things of various emotions, and then they talk about depressing/mad/very happy/excited things that may be far from their real life form. It’s not like anybody would act the same way on the internet than on real life. If I avoid making complaints at something/someone or state rant or making very depressing episodes I might had once, I might not get enough followers to counter this, but I don’t want to express something very underground and weird and then altering the normal essence of the Position of the Nick.
    Looking on those kinds of posts users make, I feel uncomfortable and I fell on the emotion too..., which I don’t want to feel it. Because if it was an opinion I don’t want to feel angry; if it was a depressing post, I don’t want to feel bad for them more than the necessary; if it is a special someone that has a nice thing to share similar to the ones I have, I would care about it more, even if he would provoke its emotional motion and then regretting it but then caring less about it. People sometimes are confusing, more if they are behind a user-type.

    If there is a necessary post of those kinds I would write it so it can’t show any strong emotional impact, only the necessary to make acknowledge on how I feel.

    So, this is going to be a nice year, I’m going to be more open to you, and I hope we can have an interesting year :D



Erick: "So you came back"
Richie: "After a long time you haven't called me. Now you're going to face how awesome I became now"
Erick: "I needed to call you because my posts would be boring if you aren't here"
"I suppose that's right. So, have you made your New Year's Resolutions?"
Erick: "Eh? I haven't... I only want to a healthy body and mind, and extend my blog posts to 128 >//<"
Richie: "So, if 12 are the months, you have to make at least 10 posts a month, plus 2 more each 3 months..."
Erick: "Yeah, that's right...."
Richie: "Better be awesome all the time so you can stand on the posts this time :D"
Erick: "Yeah, I will..."
Richie: "And don't forget February, the first post, your birthday, and consider me in all your posts... >.<"
Erick: "Ok, ok, I will...! >//<;"

Erick Medina is me, and Richard N. is the one guarding this Space [he was the NerdKind of my conversations... hehehe]

Already a Year...!?

Whaaat!? That "A Nerd's Adventure" 's  first Post was more than a year ago!?
Which means... I have skipped a celebration for the this blog's space... :(
How inconsiderable of me  >_<' . That surprised me, a lot. Well,  not a lot. But it sure this was surprising enough.
I was seeing the blog's first post, "Hello World...", and I was about to post a image to it (because I said I would give it a Image, heheheh). When I have updated it I saw the Post's date, it was May, in which at first thought I said "Have the post's date updated himself...?" But then I saw the year, "2011".... That's when I saw it, I have been in this blogging thing for a year now (+ one day from Feb 29th)  and one week, (- hours).

Well, in fact, there are a lot of things happening in May First, but, well, THAT'S NOT TRUE!
Oh, heheh, I think I was about to post my first one the day before May 1st, but my times were not appropriate enough to see the length of a first post, but If I can get into consideration. My Random Post of April 2 will give the last one to count a year of posts of a strange and silly boy who says nonsense out of his mind.
So yeah, maybe I'll do a more proper "one year of posting" post to express how it somewhat helped me express myself in order to others to see my opinions on main topics, and so on....

I don't know if this is a countable post, but I think the 3-post day was counted by three, I think this day is counted by two. So yeah. NOT a proper post, but a very random one, in which I think it is better to post it now to post it later.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maybe I'll give some advice now that there's the chance.
*If you have followed me around this year, thank you.
*If you have known my username -> StndNerdBoy11, and saw my drawings on deviantart.com, thank you.

*There're more:  I'll continue on my blogging here, on my drawing in other places, and now I have a tumblr page *yay* . Only I will need to think how to use tumblr. I think I will redirect my drawings on deviantart.com, or post it there, whatever is more convenient, and have an ambiance of my personality by the usual re-blogging whose users I would thank them beforehand for making my space of expression easier to make, and not by always writing and having to talk directly.
*Maybe because of this, I would give another level on this blog, a new version, something simple, another background and title image.
*And in parallel with those actions, I will put in a certain time post Images to some posts. Not every post will have a Image, but the most significant ones. Also I will put the proper ones to deviantart.com and maybe in tumblr, depending on the nearby situation of the environment I have.

So, expect great changes, and a new way to see this post, I'll give my best to everything I can within my hands, and determination to make this posts more enjoyable to the people.

Then, see you later! :D