This is the moment where I post 10 random reasons why I hiatus this blog for more than 180 days.

I'll be quick on this:

1. I'm struggling depression more than ever. This may be something I didn't want to admit, because I wasn't sure about it. But the more I put my effort over bumps and doors, the more I feel the burnout and the harsh feelings I get when thinking a lot. I hate that from happening, maybe it's a signal I should slow down a bit, or maybe be more organized. Somehow I"m trying to settle things down before I continue.
2. I  get to engrossed into watching streams rather than going into the creative process. I guess that's how I was coping with my emotions. That would calm my nerves an feel I was part of something.
3. Social interactions was hard to manage, because there was not a single time where all could have talked to me first and started a conversation. I don't know if that could have been overwhelming, but then I try to reach people in a hard way I could fin my own way to communicate, I feel I made a progress, but I feel I could go for more.
4. Time and time, even though I was able to manage it regardless, somehow there was something I was starting to miss every time I wanted to do something. Again schedule is on the way.
5. Drawings, and drawings again, and thinking the possibility to make the perfect drawing to explain a force of expression that shows something wonderful.
6. People again, not receiving feedback on what I do, it's hard to make something without feedback, feel like there is no motivation to continue, but still I like drawing and I hope to continue even still things get rough, 10-20 minutes a day would suffice.
7. Thoughts of life, again, what orientation I would give this time to this blog, I've always wonder if I could place more meaningful and fun stuff over here.
8. Finding new things to get stories and lots of neat stuff to share, because sharing is a nice way to start a conversation.
9. Becoming a better person, and therefore try to put my motivation to people so they can go with the issues of their life too.
10. Because I know I don't want to let 2017 be a postless year, I will try to put all my emotions into central so that I can share in a better way and with all the force possible. Because that is what I like too.

I hope this explains why I need some space, well it's not that I was alone all the time not that I left other space, hope I can make good use to it :3

A post of Normal Change

Hey there it's been a long while since I write. I have another writing  while I was away but I guess I was going the wrong direction or at least not getting any sense after months of trying to complete it.

I might take some ideas from that but I'll try to note how things are gonna be.

It's supposed that I have got any idea to what to write but after lots of years it's been amazing how I made lots of improvements to myself. Maybe the opening of some keys are gonna help me to open the main key. The one that can unlock any other key. It's impressive, that if that happens I can open many possibilities and make it real. Not all of them but some of them.

I made an improvement on having to talk to people and understand their ideas and their expectations. I might not get all of them but I can assume we can get lots of things possible. It's just a matter to believe.

Now, on to topic. It's time I get to make an evolution but I might not do drawings about it, that makes me lose time more than I should and I should take the consideration of having the time to be on what it's most important.

Programming stuff is one of them, trying to learn or at least review some of the topics on each thing has been kinda difficult, because I need to keep a pace of concentration on it every day. It's something that I should have to keep it dominated. Main things to handle are concentration, discipline, effort, and good decisions. Also main topics are socializing, handling emotions and confidence in our strength.

Adding up learning some languages and other interesting things and also, preparing for living an independent life, which it's gonna be fun because we can do more stuff :P

Trying to learn things in order to share, to explain, is also fun too. Because you can learn from the best and keep the pace on the good stuff you want to learn about. It's only a matter of determination.

What I need the most is to be more organized. I got a prove that other people are unlikely to help you if they don't feel the need to do so. Sometimes we live the challenge even if they don't say so. We have to get some cold in our position to make something special to be brought up to ourselves.

It's time to get to study and get the most out of it. We know in our stregnth and we can make things happen.

Lift Ups and Slow Downs

    It's February, and we should we getting a nice writing today (despite people telling me not to, but then it's for writing that I get the idea of Life Renovation, so, it's kinda like a process >w<)
 
    A month of lots of stuff but on this day I can spend it to see if my writing skills can make me put some more elaborate and detailed stuff about me so I can make it faster.
See, when I wanted to comment on other topics, say on dA and other pages, I was afraid, or maybe I didn't have lots of stuff to say to make it worth a comment, just even a "Oh that's a nice drawing" thing and that's it. I've always thought of my comments beforehand and I would take like, 10 min or so to make one worth it. Now I can make it in less than 1 minute the enough comment and the even worth comments like in 5 min. So that's  a progress.

    I would take my blog to write like less than an hour, lets see if I can make it in less than ten. Starting from this point:

    So I still have that anxiety of mine but I can't seem to look at it because, well I'll try to explain in my stream of ideas. I get so anxious when I get lots of data to process. I tend to have that obsession of processing  data. And I really shouldn't be doing so because I don't know, I need to relax sometimes right? x3

   I really want to give a try to game development, to improve my programming skills, I see lots of people that makes the huge effort and discipline to concentrate on do stuff until finish and get good results and feedback about what are they doing.

    Games like Touhou and Undertale, where one person is responsible for most if not all of the stuff involving a game, that's a really good motivation point to give a try and say, let's make a game for ourselves. And if I know I don't have all the resource and time to make it happen, what I can do is  still learn, ask people, get into, get stuff, learn from them.

    I don't know if I can get or even recover what I've done on my college days, but I have to try, it's still the same kinda to make something than to review something. If I ever knew how to maintain code I might get to know that it would be so important to maintain, so I haven't lost anything and so.

    Oh, an on to the main topic, I got some feedback from one of the ones who inspired me to keep it up, that I should live to society and have to do stuff that can make me go to the next level. Programming isn't the great deal if one could think. It's a very hard work to do, but it's like the first step if we want to give a shot on everything we need to get into. I don't know they say it because they don't have lots of leaders or so or if some dream idea from them, but it's good to make a follow.

    But then I have that downside where, my emotions can get over me at times, and I kinda go the flow of darkness if I would like to say like that, but I know I shouldn't be following that. It's like, people expect you to do something, though they don't need to tell you how, just expect things, you know how to solve it. But I don't know, if people can get the idea of how I feel. Well really they don't I shouldn't be generalizing that kind of useless stuff. I should keep going forward, but I have to keep my hype up, and the people who wants to follow me are the ones I'll get the stuff done.

   Because, after the lost of most of my data, thinking that I would get a inspiration from that wouldn't be helping a lot, Internet grows a lot on data, and people still have data in their hands. But trying to remind what I did kinda reminds me of the things I can't recover now, but if I didn't make importance of this stuff is maybe because it wasn't that important at the moment, maybe some is more now but, I can really make it over again if a thing is better to be done. Past stuff is past stuff, so, I'll give my time to recreate all the stuff I can show, and learn more from it.

   So, conclusion of my 10 minute writing, I have that feeling of really making stuff, just that, well, people say, not to give a thing about writing and just do it, don't make your dreams be dreams/
But then, I write it so I can settle things, so I can say, oh I'm really gonna do it x3

    I'll just keep ground, stay away from obsession, focus on what to do and which things I need to get to make stuff done, if I need to learn more stuff, if I need to be in touch with more people, who knows, maybe I can make things better this time.

Hello and let's get started again.

   I guess I'll make lots of explanations on why this blog has been stopped or not being able to continue all along. It's simple. First there is not a lot of feedback, and second I mostly talk about myself and stuff. Not a lot of people would be interested on what I say, unless some can be related to what I'm saying here.

    It's been days of lots of confusion and days where I say, why I'm doing this, but seems that's more comfortable for now to struggle all of what I'm doing so I can't get out and face bigger problems. I have bigger problems so much, I can't rely only on my own position any more. Because, let's think about it a little bit: one person, introverted and reserved in its own position, shattered by the external forces, not being able to recover from that, even if in the most of the efforts it could do it, turns out he can't revert that personal position. Feeling sad about this, all of that is thought about lots and lots of times. And by the time of consumption it may take away all what he was before....

    I've lost lots of things last year, sadly. Not being able to recover or do something about it. Also I put lots of important things aside, and people around, even if telling me to do something about it, it's still on the same position. I feel like only being just there not doing lots of stuff, and more than ever with the recent situation, I've lost most of my data available of recovery. Not that I can worry of that any more, but it's that feeling that it only remembers you the past but it can't be recovered by normal means.

    Now I'm in a position I feel scared about myself, how I can treat people with a hole on my mind and heart. Feel like if something could be mentioned and I might fall again deep into the dark. And it's hard to recover from those feelings of anxiety and despair. I know all what I have to do isn't going to be easy. I would need a force way too stronger than the force I was maintaining to keep on my own track. But somehow there is like a subtle feeling of freedom, that subtle thing you tell yourself you can now freely go around and be truly yourself, without really feeling guilty about lots of stuff going around.
Now, last year strategy of the gimmick deviation of thoughts and ideas, I know I wasn't going to maintain all that, not because I couldn't, because that was only a main part to evade all thoughts and ideas that it may affect my position. If I  felt last time that I was again evading reality an my destiny, is because I was protecting myself from being hurt, again. And really, protecting myself from data, so I can't be overwhelmed, so I can't become someone I don't want, someone that might get anger thoughts, trying to reclaim things I can't get.

    Internet has been a struggle too for Introverts who only wanted to feel secure and listened by other people too. but I can tell all what I've been through has been because of the support of lots of people who care who I am and let me be who I am too. It's a nice feeling to finally grasp this point and not trying to rely only on my own positions and my own retributions. It's not that I don't want to do it, it's just that, being in the position I am right now, I can't let my own thoughts to be wandering around me. People shouldn't let me try to handle my thoughts alone, and again, not that I can't eventually, it's just because it would be easier to cope with my situation of anxiety and all the last stuff happened.
If something good can come out of this, is that I might be finally able to construct lots of things that are more reliable now to exist, rather that all the past of what it has been. It was good at that stage, but if I can improve that, I would feel better to myself, I would live the present more.

    With that in mind, I'm aiming to achieve lots of stuff that might do a new generic data that will help me understand myself better, which helps me spend more my time to get things done, to learn, to share, to make content, to make renewed ideas from the past one, to really focus on essential things that really gives me the realization of what I'm going to do, at least for this year.

    So yeah, anyone who wants to keep up with my adventures you are welcome to follow this blog and keep up what I do, it could be drawings, it could be writing stuff, it could be anything. It's my space I'm sharing for all of you who visit here, but I'm open to suggestions and anything I can give a good answer, so thanks for all your support :B

Breaking: Nerd Boy saved from Dental Disaster

"And just because I wanted to be 'brave' enough to deal it on my own >///<"

It's been a while since I get to see some clinic facility  to deal with emergency maneuvers, real emergency they say. It's not that I wanted to admit it but it was still hard. You see, I have braces, I'm not just portraying my character just because of that. I do have braces to deal, and it's been a long time I have it, it was supposed to have it ready, at least on a year ago. In fact, I was planning a "Braces Thing" series where I could talk about it. But problems arising and I don't know then. On the story.

Recently I had some dental adjustments where they place some of the tough 'metal-wired' thing around the upper teeth, and have it all adjusted with an array of tight 'suspenders' or those things around the braces but they were together, it looks like a chain. The thing is, almost completely with that, one of those things that get with the last teeth got detached. It wasn't dangerous and seems to be fine to at least be there. I didn't care as I didn't want to spend more time on that either. I got home and then I noticed it was too tedious to eat with that situation on hand. Again I didn't care a lot because I got to manage it.

Even in my sleep it was nice to deal with it. But yesterday, I tried to eat the best I could. Adding the fact the adjustment was hurting me, with all the tedious thing I was having a headache. Then I just tried to adjust it, move it around, I don't know, I did everything I had at my had to at least take it out. When I noticed my dental band was attached to another thing I couldn't take it away. Now my dental band had an alignment of 90 degrees downward, I just couldn't close my mouth. With that I wouldn't eat, nor sleep even!

But then I just returned home, as it nothing happened, I told I needed some arrangements to the dentist, but that It would be tomorrow, as if they didn't know how bad it was. In the afternoon I contacted them, but the receptionist said the one attending left already, and that I should call her tomorrow. Well, I was thinking on how to deal with it on the evening, but then down the kitchen my parents saw me and talked about my problem with my teeth, I just showed how it looked. They didn't liked how it looks.

They tried to help me to cut it out but it was useless. So the only option was to search some place to see some dentist to see what it can be done. It was around nine o'clock. Most of the places where it says 'dentist' were closed, but as they were driving and searching, I was a little scared on the insistence on having to look at someone to deal what they called an 'emergency' I wouldn't believe on that, or I didn't know what to expect.

We entered some clinic, this one was known because of one time I wanted to be Harry Potter without knowing him before (reserved for another story >///< ). We looked for a doctor that 'has the courage to deal with those situations' when I entered the lobby, I was being embarrassed of thinking that I really was to be treated as patient. Me still not understanding my emergency situation. I knew it was bothering me a lot but, why wasn't I thinking for that?

The clinic said they couldn't attend those kind of situations, but said the other clinic, conventionally located a few streets away, may deal with it. It was turning to be a lost hope. But they didn't think of that and we went there. I couldn't appreciate well before the location we arrived then has some nice installments. So then we entered and we explained the situation to the receptionists (the last one there seem to not to be any) when they looked by far my mouth they right away talked as to see they could deal with it. Somehow some nice looking man (I said nice looking because he looked young in red-blue shirt and jeans and a well maintained beard >///<) entered and somehow  greeted my parent. [The position of the Enlightened of Wisdom is famous with its pupils] Said he worked here. And when we explained why we were here, he got a thought look, as if how can we deal with this. Basically he is the man indicated for the job.

He entered to see how to deal it and then it let me enter to one of the clinic rooms, all and hospital bed and lots of utensils and, well, hospital things.... *worried look* I knew the maneuvers to be were orthodontic, and to deal with the powerful wire and all the bondings that didn't let that bothering thing to get out. After a few minutes of techniques that were splendid, everything was done. And without even knowing it that thing was out of my way and I could close my mouth more easily. We thanked the doctor, to be in the way to saved us (to save me >///<) My parent said it was some sort of "Attraction Law" that everything occurred the way it occurred. I don't know if I wanted to make assortment to that. But well, the thing is I could sleep better.

Thinking of a time like this, I get to wonder how I would react if I were to manage another similar or worse situation like this, should I really care or should I would let it be...? Well depending if that is hurting enough, but if I didn't considered this dental problem an emergency issue is because I would be able to manage it, but I thing it turned beyond my position of control.

I'm just ashamed for thinking that.

I'm thinking of really make my braces adventures a series of posts, once I can grasp the position of this blog,

Arcade Videogames

As I got my hands hurt after a fierce battle of the video games at some home with lots of people, I reminded myself of those games I played long time ago. Those games are old too >//<
That made me imagine all the technology they use to make 2D videogames. Well, the 3 games I'm referring to are:

King of Fighters '99
Metal Slug X
Capcom vs SNK  2

those were the games played, all playable through a play station 2. some were from play station, but it was okay to have it there.

Starting with Capcom vs SNK 2, this was a game a "Great Friend" of mine had, once he invited me to his house to play it a while, and it was fun to play it. I had the chance of actually play it because it was all common in here to play arcade fight-type games. The store nearby had some of those, well, most of the local store had one or two arcade machines to play. I wasn't used to those, because of the money, and because they didn't give me one.... Also, Play Station, I didn't had one at that time. It was cool to know I could see it again and playing it.

Then, Metal Slug X, another arcade game, this one was difficult if you don't have enough skills to clear it, nor the money to actually train and learn more. You only have a few buttons and a bunch of obstacles to pass trough and eliminate. One shot against you and you lose one life, 3 lives lost and you need to continue, with another coin. Again, my expectation of coins were limited though.... On this time, I didn't actually see all the play-through until the very end. I was glad someone let me pass the last level with another 'expert' on this game. Wonder how many years he had this game....

Lastly, King of Fighters '99, I think I had 2000 and 2001 for Play Station 2, but then one of my favorite characters, Athena and Bao, also Mature and Iori, people always want to use Iori, because his attacks are awesome, and maybe their Desperation Moves are easy to do. I saw that too on an arcade machine. It wasn't as difficult to play, I already knew most of the techniques and move buttons of my characters to use. The only problem was the controller stick and the buttons, always difficult to fast-move to properly make an attack.
------------

Those are one of the things one make me wonder, I could actually be a true gamer, but as you can see, if you can't make the sacrifice of the money to play those games, it is like feeling weird to be a gamer, because you haven't got too much experience to show it.

If I feel like a gamer, I should feel the need to spend most of the time playing videogames, but last year was more social-oriented, I don't know if I can't combine both. I think I can, I just need experience to have a good talk, when I need to talk. That's what I think. I shouldn't need to talk if it's not necessary.

Anyway this is what happened last time, and now those games, seems to be guarded one more time, without someone to really play those games. It's like a treasure chest that's easy to find but difficult to get, only the master has the key, and it took it away with him. But for playing those, there are other options available, the only thing needed is time.

(And check there are more arcade games I can talk too :3)

The video-games stole my son!

Original Title: "The video-games stole my son!: Opinion on how people see video games"

    Hello again, If my position can get more what I can do on my own position, I might do more than tree posts a day, but I'll need a lot of effort and creative motion.

    So, I'll begin. Recently I was seeing the TV, in my ways of not getting bored, when I wait for my parents for dinner, in fact they were the ones who put the TV. The channel we're seeing transmitted a show, every day show. They were talking about video games. Curious how they were talking about a topic on a TV, and on a general channel show.... Anyway, the show presented a mother and his son. The son with a lost look, the mother, rather young. First it was the mother talking about his son, about him playing video games all the time, unnoticed by the ambiance and his future responsibility of having attention on what is to come (aka parenting...?). But then they bring the son with the mother, and the 'show' gets into action.

    I just realized from start the weirdness of this show, just because of the bragging of the guy and a repetitive call to the presenter. Really weird... They continue by saying, this guy is a 'developer', what he said being a 'system programmer', something I don't seem to be the main reason, despite its name anyway.... Still the situation presented there seems way worse than most of the things and, even the seriousness of it, it was not for an intelligent mind.

    A guy that seems to be a programmer, a game programmer? a design programmer? They don't tell well, only that it has great school scores, just that his addiction of video games changed him. Maybe his background has something to do. Still, its seemingly obvious acting didn't convince me....

    They say, playing a lot it's too much. They say, you should do something better in your life to get going. They say, it will affect you somehow. They say, there are better priorities to do. All in a way looks like valid points, but still, something was bugging me when I was seeing the show....

    Because, we know we have to be careful when playing video games. That's true. But then showing the wrong wrong side of the video gaming world seems kind of incoherent, specially from the ones who don't actually knows how to play a video game! Still it's kind of a weird situation.

    As a software developer, and looking at this similar me on the person of this guy, I can't relate the difference and of course I can't sympathize the despiting idea that they do showing to the people don't know about video games, and it doesn't seem to change, because that's what this show is about. They're likely to show bad things over good things about some thing that, having not the proper precautions, it may cause  repercussions.

    What I really didn't like, was the fact of showing the 'Throwing ball to get a monster' thing they were referring to an incident that it just happened in the anime!

Now, for the variation of the same post, I have found this video:

[Thanks for making this video, at least people'll know what show I'm referring to :P]

I have seen it and most of the things I said here, he said it.
    Only the thing of the political thing or the 'manipulation thing', and the 'same-level' of commentary thing, or the full take of the same negative things said, despite the positive-neutral thing, or the general thing despite it's acknowledgeable the kind of show, although it's obvious the kind of info that only have a very strong impact on ignorant people.

    But still, the common thing is that, they HAD a lot of time, and it could be better to explain BETTER, but of course, they wanted to place commercials, and what it's very weird, is having the attention of a topic to place advertisements and ending up with a question on what happened to the boy.

    In one loong 10 minute break of commercials, I went to some corner of the street to buy 7 tacos [those who know how fast and small tacos are, it's not that much :3 ], and returned, and it was 1 minute away from the next section.

    For those who ask, I know I shouldn't be making attention to it, but as the guy of the video said, that show is seen by more people we on the User Realm we can imagine, so that something to worry; and because I love video games, another point of view is good.

Convention Adventures 005

I should have done this last week.... >///<

    A lot of time passed since I wrote another -Convention Adventures- post. This happened last week. I was testing some new features of realization of Motion and Stability of my Hobbies and other things, proper for new steps.

 I need some inspiration, so a final fantasy music soundtrack would help me do that hehe.

   There it was, a long way behind to reach our destiny (I’m telling a story hehe) and a bunch of people coming to the same direction. I have to keep my cool to myself and continue my way to the Convention Center hehe.

   This time I got a different concept with those conventions, one that gets more common in our region. So, maybe, I could get a little bit biased about it. I could say it’s the same thing as other conventions. Anime cosplay, drawing, videogames, trading cards, and the usual vending things, food shop and a stand on videogame things. Last time I guess I went alone, I didn’t know why, but it was awesome I guess. Now with new minds to remember, how conventions were.



Sometimes, with the friends I was when on conventions, it has that wonderful thing to feel not anxious/embarrassed to be there. But at this time it has to be different. We saw some adventure time stuff and some other ponies stuff and a little bit of homestuck cosplay (a little mean, one or two people). Anyway, what I don't know is how things can happen to not being shy on those kind of things. Maybe because of all material things around that I may not have, or maybe because I can't be as childish as possible to act excited about a videogame or something. But I do it sometimes, but in my way, not to expressive but still noticeable.

   Money has been one of my problems, and now I can see I can do more than just buy something. At least I didn't feel extremely anxious, or maybe I'm expecting something awesome to see. But still it was a test, to see if I can handle it, if I'm still on the way of liking things, despite not all people see the anime/cartoon I see.

   At first, I was not expecting something from it, especially when feeling the nostalgic air of anime at earlier times. Then that position of nostalgia turn the present people into a conversation that has laughs and beautiful moments to remember. I don't know why I can't compel with that very well, maybe again is my lack of expression, but I think people don't care a lot about it. Just enjoy and be happy (like I always say :P ).

   I just hope my linguistic conversation talking with others doesn't be dull and not understandable, that my voice can sound  better to others, and that I can connect different ideas with great view.

   I have a Jake hat-type, I don't know what it's called like, but I like it anyways :3

Awkward Moment – Failure at Conversation

This is a blog post for an event story.

     I’m having issues, strong issues, about how to handle the reacts of people when I say something I want for myself. There’s something I have to deal with, but that something comes rarely in my life. I feel like needing to have more chances of talking with new people, so I can deal with the ones I can’t feel comfortable with them.

     You know, when meeting people, I feel like not being interested, and maybe I have this issue of not showing interest on people at all. It is because I don’t know who I am going to talk the most of the time. I’m not of the normal people who go to parties and related things; I have certain interests like playing videogames and computers and programming. I feel like not needing to talk about something else.

     Yesterday was weird because of a certain moment I had to deal when being in a closed space with another person. Imagine you in a car with some other people you don’t know. What would you do? I felt very shy at that moment. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t have any interesting thing to say to him because I could know in his face what I do isn’t interesting to him. But I feel that at those moments there, I felt weird being quiet, where I was supposed to talk something useful.

     Today was getting a little bit worse, how can I suppose to talk about my needs when I can’t feel the trust on the people I need to talk to? Imagine this time you cannot move, you feel stuck in a wave of ideas, most of it nonsense. You don’t want to face something you don’t want. And people seem to not understand your ramblings about evading actions because you need to attend other activities and you feel awful and confused.

I should finish this post somehow so I leave it here for now.

Or maybe continuing it in another post.

Awkward shopping moments

    Think about an item you would likely feel nervous when buying it, and then place yourself in a situation you would likely to be embarrassed about it.

    If I were me, I would think the most awkward thing is when buying underwear or when buying items that are not for yours. But OK, let’s see why I’m telling this, and why I’m doing this post.

    It’s not like I got into a place and tried to buy something, but it’s like something you have to do. I don’t usually go to places to buy, my family usually do this, buying things to eat, the clothes, the accessories, health products and cleaning products. But I think daring yourself to do something like this is kind of worth it.

    Why? Because you’ll get the courage to do anything if you can face the other person, an unknown person, and have this interaction while he gets your merchandise into a bag and tells you how much it is. Having to face the cashier is something difficult, especially if you’re on your own. Usually in your family they ask you to go to the nearest department store to buy certain products for using it at home, but then you have to go all the way down to the store and select the products, paying it for it and carry the bags back to home.

    But there are the two main situations, the cashier wouldn't say something to you, or the cashier would look you strange carrying all of this. All depends on what does the cashier would say to you.

    And I’m of the people who don’t worry until they are acknowledged of the actions we make. At first I wouldn't dare to say something, so many years ago, my shyness was too strong for me so I could go and buy something. But also it was all about how much do you got for money....

    But of course time passes and you are a different person, with personal decisions, with desires and with all of the mentality of making awesome things.
    I know also what I would feel embarrassed of buying, when you go to certain store to buy plush toys and cute things, like anime products and video game characters. Because, trying to compare, I just have to be more otaku or more nerdy to feel like I need to buy it, and because I can’t get a lot of money and because I can’t spend my money all for that.

    Recently, I got into that situation, but nothing embarrassing happened. Maybe because he just didn’t ask me a lot. It’s just a matter of business. That’s all....

    But after that, I felt more confident on myself, I know I still have to learn to talk to people and tell what I’m aiming for. But that’s a big first step into seeing what I really want, and how I’m going to arrange my room so I can have space.

    See you soon.

Convention Adventures 004

Last posts from  "Convention Adventures":

• Convention Adventures 003
• Convention Adventures 002
• Convention Adventures 001

    Getting on the same flow of “convention Adventures”, the 4th one since the start of this blog. This time, it was the same as any other, but it was different as any other, because of lots of reasons.
    Curiously enough, I was alone, kinda, I have met nobody, although I’m sure I told one or two. I don’t know if they would like to come if they had the time.... But, if I could know every people near school....
    Anyway, I was supposed to meet new people and have fun. But I think I wasn’t prepared for that too. Their huge amount of information wouldn’t be enough for my lack of information.... well I know something, but it’s not like I would argue a bunch of teenagers for their crazy likes.... What I found amusing was the place, different areas and different stands of food, shoping things and a few artists’ block. I would have participated on some drawing contest, but I hadn’t got the time for one. And also the ones who were into that contest were using references to make a nice drawing. I could have some of my references and make an original one.
    Near the place of the drawing contest there were the videogame and trading card tournaments. Again I wasn’t even daring to face some Smash Bros Brawl, even though I know how to play. I would feel like a noob to all those experts....
    And then the main area, with lots of items, one of them, some Adventure Time items. I got one, a Finn Plushie... :D Some video presentation, special guests, karaoke, cosplay contests, and lots of people. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of two would meet me and talk to me. In fact someone talk to me, it was the only conversation I had, kinda sad I know.... hehe
    The Homestuck cosplayers appeared again, if I can make an understandment, maybe they may find other people who read that webcomic, or maybe they are just showing it.... I would like to know how they take all of this. I want to know someone near who reads Homestuck and show me all of this. Even if I usually follow canonical storylines, I can fantasize possible others.... hehe
    Even though, I had a very daring succession of events, and it was the most daring one, I suppose..., but I think I kinda failed on that. And I’m guessing why I didn’t succeed on that. I may show my position of Erick Medina in form of drawings, only to show I can draw and I can make cool ones. Or maybe I have to know lots of things they know, like yugioh, again smash bros, street fighter, ddr, marvel vs capcom 3, and then knowing new anime and have friends who can talk about that..., in my position it may not work, maybe I have to look for another way that isn’t the normal way, the usual way teenagers would do.
    Gaming is one of the things; programming games are nice to do. So, yeah... that was my convention adventure.
    Why did I go this time? Because I haven’t got into lots of ones and I would be afraid, and because I have known this one and at others I haven’t known they were done.
    Why did I still dare to do it? Because I want to, because I know certain people go and they like it, because they would see as I can get out of my computer to go out and have some fun (I have my fun alone, but on a later time I was hungry and I couldn’t eat food because of my braces....).
    Will you go again? If I get invited or if they can tell me what to do so I can’t feel lonely because I’m not prepared. Because I can’t hang out with teenagers, maybe people who likes to play videogames, I have to be prepared to that, and also to people who play cards, but I have to have one..., or maybe to participate on a drawing contest, but I have to bring all and be prepared and be early to do it.
    Just that I don’t want to get disappointed again..., I’ll have to know people, that’s all.
Next week, a bunch of issues to attend, but this blog is still on.

First days of the year, and a doubt arises

Hello! Let’s start this New Year with lots of energy.

    But now, something I have been thinking lately as I was sorting my data: I know there’s going to be lots of interesting activities I want to do on this year, of greater value and meaning than the last year, only to prove that I can increase my will and dedication on something I like and on something I can improve.
    I want to change. That’s for sure. I know I’m doing the best I can to make a change or to have another type of events that happens around me, so I can be a subtle light, and so other people would see that light. All the time I spent on writing and drawing and chatting with people made me change and made me increase my confidence and my motivation to continue. I’m happy of that improvement and I’m happy that I can be a better user on this year.
    My always changing mind has been into a great battle of self-learning of life, expecting less from the best methods and always making new choices on the increasing of the data gathering. It is said that I won’t stay with a selected choice all the time, my effort will be constant on searching new ways, even if the ones I got can be enough to be happy or to have a pleasant life.
    That’s why I’m still trying, that’s why I’m not going to leave this behind. The great journey of the friendship and relationship bonds will be the ones I’m facing. New and more thrilling experiences, new and more exiting adventures.
    Now that I have enough experience, I can fully go on the user-type Motion and act normally, hehehe.... Only I need a formal introduction of level up and evolving... I think :P
    Just some doubt I have in mind.... Everything I have made was all by my own benefit and for the expression of someone’s mind, the actions made by one only person and the sites maintained by him.
 
 That is me.

    Other users would have another user from real life near them, and their friendship is as unique as every normal friendship would be. When they are on their computer, they would likely to connect each other and spend the night talking while posting their user sites and blogs and seeing others’ updates. This is not necessary my case.
    Even though I know people that they would do the same, I wasn't cool enough to approach to them at the correct time. But also I don’t follow a lot of what they usually do. I know some people would play with their Xbox360 some kind of fps game, others would play the Wii or the 3DS, I don’t know which game.... Others are more occupied hanging out with their friends I don’t know which place of the city. Others are just having other things in their mind...., others have certain games to play, but most of them have their user-type related on their main social network, so, nothing special.
    The only ones who seem to have a special user-type are people distant from my place of action. This means, if I maintain my normal flow, there would be hardly a chance I would encounter and meet them. There’re like one person or two that I have met; nothing very special, but at least something appreciable. So, yeah, I’m only here for my own benefit.

    The ones they know me know that I draw, and if I show them they would look delightful for the skills I have, but nothing special past that. And the ones that I know they have a special user-type have their own circle of friends. I have friends too, even if not fully considered verbally, only that I’m not too good at insisting, and also I can’t deny the fact I’m of the few ones that I have the sites that I have now.
    But then, I see other users and I’m impressed of the level of position when they post things of various emotions, and then they talk about depressing/mad/very happy/excited things that may be far from their real life form. It’s not like anybody would act the same way on the internet than on real life. If I avoid making complaints at something/someone or state rant or making very depressing episodes I might had once, I might not get enough followers to counter this, but I don’t want to express something very underground and weird and then altering the normal essence of the Position of the Nick.
    Looking on those kinds of posts users make, I feel uncomfortable and I fell on the emotion too..., which I don’t want to feel it. Because if it was an opinion I don’t want to feel angry; if it was a depressing post, I don’t want to feel bad for them more than the necessary; if it is a special someone that has a nice thing to share similar to the ones I have, I would care about it more, even if he would provoke its emotional motion and then regretting it but then caring less about it. People sometimes are confusing, more if they are behind a user-type.

    If there is a necessary post of those kinds I would write it so it can’t show any strong emotional impact, only the necessary to make acknowledge on how I feel.

    So, this is going to be a nice year, I’m going to be more open to you, and I hope we can have an interesting year :D



Erick: "So you came back"
Richie: "After a long time you haven't called me. Now you're going to face how awesome I became now"
Erick: "I needed to call you because my posts would be boring if you aren't here"
"I suppose that's right. So, have you made your New Year's Resolutions?"
Erick: "Eh? I haven't... I only want to a healthy body and mind, and extend my blog posts to 128 >//<"
Richie: "So, if 12 are the months, you have to make at least 10 posts a month, plus 2 more each 3 months..."
Erick: "Yeah, that's right...."
Richie: "Better be awesome all the time so you can stand on the posts this time :D"
Erick: "Yeah, I will..."
Richie: "And don't forget February, the first post, your birthday, and consider me in all your posts... >.<"
Erick: "Ok, ok, I will...! >//<;"

Erick Medina is me, and Richard N. is the one guarding this Space [he was the NerdKind of my conversations... hehehe]

Game Over’s, and the Fear of trying…

    A video game has different states, showing when you start, when you are currently playing, and when the game ends. Basically videogames don’t need to follow story development. You just play until the game is over, usually caused by actions of the player that couldn’t be done based on the standards of the games; simply put, you lost _____. (I’m in the mood of following games…)

    There are two options to make a game over; one is to lose in a game, which is that your player was defeated, that certain rules made you lose, or that you hadn’t completed the objectives of that game. Another is that, you win the game fulfilling the objectives and beat the game to the very end. 

    The thing is this: when you state a game over on an ending scene, it’s not that bad compared of the game over when you lose or you couldn’t reach a certain goal. Those kind of game over come with a scene in which the player knows he lost.  Of course there was a continue screen or a restart and you can try again to beat it.

    Here is the main thing of this post. I’m kind of afraid of those “game over” screens, and having to lose on video games. Here are some examples why:

    Once there was a place on the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, when you need to pass through the insides of a tomb, to get the Song of the Sun. I was a child when some friends and I played that game.  I wasn’t playing at that moment. So there was that room, in which you need to pass those nasty zombies who paralyze the player and slooowly approach you and suck your energy life. I wouldn’t care about that moment, even though that could be scary enough for a child…. The thing was when they fell on that “trap” they let the player to be defeated, which means you have no life, which means “Game Over”…. The fall over, the song, the screen, and the chance of doing it again…, that was the freaking part.

    That thing kind of surprised me a lot. Maybe of the awful playing of my friends, but I wasn’t daring to go and see the screen again when one of my friends were confronting those zombies. When I knew they would be playing against those, I just run away from the room and hide somewhere until I would know they have lost or they have succeeded that part. Also I would run away when the player (Link) was with a little of heart lives, because I would know some stupid action and it would end in a game over.

    Another thing was when playing Super Mario World from SNES. So there you have at your Mario, playing to beat Bowser and their minions. Of course you were prone to lose a life in an easy manner. But you wouldn’t get a game over until you have lost all lives. When that happens, a black screen appears stating “game over”, you need to restart your points. You would just continue from the save point or from another point, which I don’t understand why you have those options. 

    The thing is, that scared me a lot, of course I didn’t scream or something similar. That game over screen was there around my head all the time. When I was a child, that thing happened. One night, after playing that game, getting to sleep in my bed, thinking that screen over and over again, the sound, it sounded like despair to me at that time, hopelessness, nothing more depressing enough, but annoying enough you cannot sleep with that. That thing was there all along! And I didn’t want that thing to prevent me from going to sleep! 

    I cried, that was too much for my head. I just wanted to sleep and my mind didn’t let me, and I just let my mind to generate again and again the same Idea, and didn’t finish/concluded it. I just went to use the most reliable resource a child can have in order to calm my Generating Ideas of Weird Motion: my parents. I went to their room, I said that I cannot sleep; they just went to my room and put some radio on near me. They said not to think too much about the thing I was thinking, and just with the flow of the radio I could be able to sleep.

    But that experience made me fear about those”game over”, that was very cautious on playing them again. I was playing videogames normally, because my way of playing was strategically and well planned. And the only way to stop getting game over when I thought that was unavoidable was to turn of the console and restart again. Anyway that was the same thing, so what thing can I lose it. 

    Other weird game overs: Donkey Kong 64, that game over was done when you get out of the game. I didn’t do that, not after the moment I did it appeared the game over screen and the freaky laser bean pointing towards DK’s island. That was unexpected!! I didn’t like it. And then on LoZ: Majora’s Mask, when your time was out, and the moon was about to get into the city, that was terrible. I didn’t see it. But the thing that you have less time and you are running out of time made me anxious enough, and as the zombies episode I run away from it.

    So I could state that I can avoid game over, or I just hate seeing “game over” screens. I would expect the situation before doing it, and then finish the game seeing none of those types of screens….

    I think that could be related in my way of doing things and making decisions, I just can’t talk to everybody I want about the things I like the most, because I would need to confront the unexpected things of what I think. My idea generation is good to make conclusion, but it is also good to make ideas that has negative points. Maybe that’s one good point of why I cannot dare myself to talk to everybody. Because if I expect too much from a person and that didn’t make a good retribution, making an obvious rejection, I would feel like that time when my efforts in a game weren’t enough to fulfill the goals, which means “Game Over”….

   I would give everything to overcome my “Game Over” reaction, in the games, and in life too. Maybe if the risk is not too much, I could implement a “Continue from Check-Point” Idea Representation, and I could talk to everyone I could talk to, whatever it is a new person, an admirable person, a soon-to-be friend or a friend who I haven’t talked in years. I would like to not to fear when someone new talks to me and I just stay there and say nothing. I want to say something!

“- Maybe I can do awkward conversations to break the ice and start the conversation.”

“-Ok, start now!”

“-How?”

“-You know. Like you like to say every day, do like every person who makes starting conversations writing something nice.”

“-I just do that to the people I know”

“-And also the people you aren’t used to talk, or you have talked but for now you are not taking. Those kind of experiences.”

“-Yeah, that’s could be a challenge…”

“-Also, don’t get afraid from a game over, it’s part of the experience, or you don’t want to experience the real challenge of the gamer…?”

“-Waah, that’s awful I know, but it’s weird….”

“-I know it’s weird but nobody is seeing you are losing every time you are playing certain game. And don’t you dare to search FAQ’s only to avoid them too.”

“-I have made all of these; I’m not a good gamer…   ;A; waah.”

“-Practice my friend, all you need is practice! Also being caring and a good friend to your friends OK?”

“-Ok… I’m still doing my best that I can…“

Convention Adventures 003

Last posts from  "Convention Adventures":

• Convention Adventures 002
• Convention Adventures 001

  Hello there, heheh, lots of things to do this week, but for now I’m having a relaxing day. Nothing better than relax your mind out from all the pressure from assignments, projects, exams and homework (well, homework are only a few). So this is another episode from my adventures of going to conventions in which they show a variety of things regarding, this time, Japanese culture and related things, like anime, manga, cosplay and karaoke. I like it in a certain way, I think, because I had experienced another way to see the convention, from the position of not being alone.
    Ok, so, in a Great Position of Increasing Potential of the Nerd-Type Status, I expected great things from this convention, first at all because it was planned beforehand and second because it would help me to recharge a great amount of energy to finish my assignments in a happier way. I went there, another place, a big place, open place, where lots of people were in their costumes and their backpacks full of accessories showing their favorite characters.  So I was wandering as fast as I could to see things, I don’t know what things I wanted to search, but around the stands they were a lot of people! It was difficult to pass through them. What I could remember, most of the stands were pins, plushies, backpacks, and t-shirts, as usual. And then people into the videogames and people into the cards and drawing competition.
    When my friends found me, we went along to get something interesting to have our energies updated. Well, different things happened from other conventions. One was we were there viewing a lot of cosplays, taking some photos and stalking one or other, heheh. I can tell of the variety of the cosplayers of this convention. The usual Mario, Luigi, Waluigi and other Nintendo characters. A Ness from Earthbound, a lot of  Pikachu, male and female, and a person holding a big Pikachu plushie. Lots of girls with blue hair, violet hair, red hair, orange hair, green hair, and a Cirno, a Reimu, Madoka, Tomoe Mami. Some others from Sailor Moon, specially Seilor Saturn, Sailor Neptune and the same Sailor Moon. Pokemon Trainers of lots of variety. Some characters from Smash Brothers. Lots of Vocaloid cosplays and Jokers from Batman, and a Pac-Man, and a Creepier from MineCraft, and some other guys that have Pikachu hats (*wants a Pikachu hat so baad* D: ). The impressive part was: A lot of Finn and Fionna from Adventure Time, a lots of people who has at least one Jake accessory from the same cartoon (the awesome one was a three-part pin of Jake in form of a long dog, heheh), a Perry costume, and the most amazing thing, Homestuck cosplayers!!
    Regarding that, I might have expected that to happen, that after the end of the fifth act of the webcomic, the cosplaying would increase a lot, so much they would insert themselves into conventions like this. So, from the cosplayers I saw on this Japanese cultural convention were mostly Trolls from the other universe –Alternia. First a Gamzee at the entrance of the convention place (I haven’t even paid my entrance when from the file of people I could see it, heheh. And then Sollux and Terezi,  Karkat and another Terezi?, another Gamzee, another Terezi?,  Vriska, and Aradia. From the kids side, only they appeared Roxy, Dirk and John. I would want to guess how do everyone else would think of their costumes, the funny fact is that at the end they were taking photos some girls dress on anime characters. I took my chance and asked one, but the sunset made that photo a bit blurry, oh well…
    The other part was put my attention with my friend on save the position of other friends, who seems they are sympathetic enough to have a good time and spend on what I would call: Outcome fear and shyness and ask your favorite character to take a photo of him/her. The curious thing is that the position of that friendship made my outcomes easier to make. In fact I was the one with the camera, so I was the one of asking them, heheheh….
    And then the cosplay contest, my favorite one was the one of Tomoe Mami from “Puella Magi Madoka Magica” (which somebody insisted on the full name, heheh) and the 8-bit song of the battle scene. It was splendid, magical, with a good effort put on the performance, and another from the King of Fighters.
    Mostly near the end, we went to each stand to see a reliable item to have. Maybe the weird thing of that position of view of this convention was to be in pace of the others, but even with my intentions of buying something really interesting, I ended to just buy a pin *meh…*. But I wouldn't mind, because I liked the position and in a certain way I made people happy. Also, I think I would get better things than those, because I would think, for example, the pins everyone else showed on this convention got it from other place but here.

“And I couldn’t just find a Pikachu hat…  *little sad*”
“Oh, so you are still on that mission….”
“And you just have appeared again….”
“You just made me appear again because I would know this post would be as long and interesting enough to make with my presence to shine”
“Oh, ok….”
“So, did you have fun this day, isn't it?”
“Of course I did, I learned a bunch of things, and I feel that my position of the Nerd-Type Status really showed its presence”
“Yeah, I know, heheh, it was fun.”
“It’s awesome because you can share your awkwardness to everyone else and act the same way, in a way.” 
“Oh, yeah, that’s true….”
“Yeah, the retribution was cool.”
“Heheh, especially when blushed at cute responses…”
“Eeh? Well, heheheh *unnoticed blushing is unnoticed*”
“And when you dared yourself to take the photo…”
“Eh? That was something I wanted to do…”
“But you felt weird about it”
“I don’t care! I just saw more people who like the comic, that’s all!”
"But you haven't met them yet..."
"*meeh!*"
[One day I would dare myself to talk to EVERYONE I want to talk to! Even if it looks weird to do it....]

A Nerd in the Actual World

   Hello there, I should take this blog into consideration and try to make updates a little faster, just to apply new attributions and in order to feel well for the next things to come *super yay*. My motivations are always in a way I can express myself clearly and without any misunderstandings, but also applying a little bit of metaphorical expressions of a specific idea. That’s the way I like to tell who I am, and who I want to be.
   Let’s say I like who I am, and I like the things I do, and I like the experiences I’m having in this life, whatever things they come to me, good and bad things, they are enjoyable, as long as it lets me to continue on this world,  heheh. As I always say: they are situations in which the expression of a Title of the Blog becomes unique. I can feel to write something according to the Title obviously, but applying to a thing or two of recent experiences towards that.
   Ok, that’s enough for an introduction. Let’s go for the Attribution of the Title. Nerdy things, I have once used the word ‘Nerd’ as part of a Title of one Post. But why Nerd? Why StndNerdBoy11? I think I would explain with detail each of the question in other posts. I can tell for now that the choice of the Nickname was because my personality was more of a Socially Inept Person, whose social experience wasn’t as good as many others, and based on the main Definition of the Word, I thought that Nickname was appropriate, also because I do a lot of activities related to the Nerd Kind….
    Now, Nerd in the Actual World…, there has been an increasing number of people who is into the Nerdy Stuff, you know, Videogames of most types and Trading Card Games, Comic Books and Role-playing, Super Heroes and Characters’ Figures, a little bit of Math and Science Issues, and a little bit of LAN Parties, Computer and Tech Issues, and a little bit of appearance stuff. Maybe because of a lot of series on the TV, and also because of the Internet, new Technologies like Smart Phones and Tablets and cool Tech Gears and Accessories. It shouldn’t be surprising…, but of course one thing is declaring the Statement and another thing is doing activities related to the Statement in a daily basis.
   Again, we are dealing within the essence of a Stereotype, so if we move a little bit sideways we could get into offensive arguments. I try to be calm about it, because it’s not my intension to hurt, and also because I’m into trying to view different points. On that line of arguments, depending on the use of the word, we could use it without hurting anyone. Of course whatever thing we don’t know of the person we are taking might be offensive in a certain percentage; talking about things that person finds offensive is common, because we didn’t know that to the person. So we are using the word assuming the person can be open with the word stating it might not be offensive if we use it well, in the terms of the activities of the Nerdy Stuff. And of course it has many words related to ‘nerd’.
     Applying all of this to myself, first at all, when I knew the meaning of the word [Nerd], I could relate to the things that happened on experience. There was a time where that word was so sounded in my mind, because others who occasionally used it, and because of the Media Imposition using it on its normal Exaggerating Motion, that eventually the word went deeper in my mind. I did my research into see how people use it, on different places, and how they give different meanings depending on the situation; how they use it just to justify useless Media…, and how to use it to state a more outstanding position.
   Seems that here I’ll justify the first question a little bit: Why Nerd? Because of Social Attribution, that means, because others just called me that.  Within that I have developed a series of ideas revolving [Nerd]. In a certain way I can’t acclaim myself nerd, because I don’t want to be specifically the Stereotype, because the word as it is resembles an element of a list of Stereotypes. I have only used the Nickname because of the position it can give me to increase my Expression.
    I could say there is a variety of people who follow Nerdy Things, and it can be a pleasure to meet them, so to know and share a lot of things.

"A Nerd in the Actual World is someone who can overcome from its definition, experiences he had and talents obtained, so he can apply them to all kinds of Nerdy Stuff and be part of groups of the Nerdy Kind"

[The "Nerdy Kind" includes all activities mentioned above,  that the person does  as its time-consuming but enjoyable hobbies]

Convention Adventures 002

[NOTE: Considering as last entry : Convention Adventures 001]

Hello. I once again went to another convention this week, trying to conquer again the Increasing Potential of the Nerd-Type Status. What new things did I see? Not a lot of things I could tell, but the awesome thing were the people where I was along. And also it was awesome to buy some things. I guess I will talk about the key points of this convention.

I was happy to be with some friends at one time and at another time of the day. First we saw what they sell: t-shirts, figurines, plushies, posters, manga books, anime series, trading cards and related stuff. Also sushi and other Japanese food, and pizza... Also the most noticeable thing: the cosplay they have the people in the convention. Most of it anime characters, but I think there wasn't a lot of people cosplaying, or I think I didn't recognize a lot of characters. There was no Naruto character, neither a Mario character. I saw one Link and one Pikachu girl. The pokemon cosplay were more noticeable: Team Magma cosplay, some person with a blue cape holding a Piplup, the new characters of the Black/Withe version..... Also then was Sakura from CardCaptors, some Japanese school dressed girls, and a lot of people from colors of black and red (I was in a red t-shirt so...).

As always, there were the cosplay contest, a karaoke contest, a drawing contest, a videogame place and a Yu-Gi-Oh! tournament. Some person came who makes dubbing in series and movies. And there was a Touhou dancing (I guess it was part of the cosplay contest) where a lot of girls danced to Cirno's Perfect Math Class (one of the most amazing things happened in the convention, of course I like Touhou Series...)

Also the things I bought: I got one Pikachu plushie *Yay for my nerdy accomplishment*. When I saw it I remembered the aspect of the first Pikachu when appeared on the Game Boy Red/Blue version, some Zelda Poster and some keychain.

Now, the things I liked from going there. It was always a doubtful idea of going alone and only see things and do nothing interesting. Luckily I was with people I know and also they know me. School and other things were something hard to get along or difficult to talk because of the time, but when we are here, we could be anything more than a simple student or a normal person. Even so, I know the things we understand also we can get into consideration and say awesome things because they have appeared. Like Pokemon stuff, recognize the characters is awesome to share. Also when I get to know more people that my friends know. Nothing is getting low, only we need a perfect moment to be what we really are. Conventions are important in order to be more open to the real me and everyone could understand I'm no weirdo in the group of the Nerd-Type Attribution.

And so, after I thought I have saw enough I returned home. When a convention ends, I could get more Motivation Points to continue on course into the Adventure. Sharing the things with my friends one more time, we return to our duties and make homework due tomorrow...

-"It's awful there're no many moments like this, but when they come, the Nerdy Kind will be attracted by the awesomeness of the event.."
-"And you took photos of those of the Touhou girls..."
-"Touhou girls will be cool, and Pokemon also will be cool!"
-"Oh, so when will be training your 'captured' Pikachu?"
-"Huh, but I have 'other' Pokemon to train..."
-"OK... so it will be my pleasure to train your Pikachu!"*rushes at the Pikachu*
-"Wait..."
-"Oh, Pikachu! What a cute little one we have here, let me teach you some awesome moves and you'll be a powerful Pokemon you'll see."
-"Well..."
-"Oh, sure I can have it when you're occupied with your 'work', right?"
-"Well..., I t-think so..."
-"Of course, because you need time to train it..."
-"It's only a plushie..."

[By the way, most of Touhou characters are girls, and as you can see, my Nerdy Part can be nerdy at some times... *weird as it seems*]

Fun with awkwardness

               To my fellow comrades of the world of the collective information, especially those who enters the Attribution of the Nerd-Type, this is for you.

               We don’t seem to care so much the consequences of our clumsy actions, those who don’t harm some person, gets the attention of people, and are practically unreal to others. Although maybe we know how to act in a defined moment, when we feel the comfort and the freedom of strange looks, our real selves appear out of the nowhere.

               Our presence to others is quite a few, other than the Natural Space of Social Gathering, but even in this place they don’t see us regularly. But why do we want to look at unpleasant glances and his faces, telling us our weirdness of ourselves? We don’t get the idea of their strange actions of social madness, and their expressive actions in their music and other stuff…. Luckily we’re not the general people.

               If you feel your world is a limited space surrounded by strangers of every Type but yours, you’ll understand this. Our gateway is the Internet, where we can bridge infinite possibilities of getting bored inside our dorm rooms and at least get out finding new ways to increase our experience points and getting new techniques to impress everybody.

               When it comes of awkwardness, nobody seems to enjoy better those moments than us. Although at that moment you get in a way embarrassed on, for example, say something out of time and out of moment, get excited at something they don’t get it, or laugh unexpectedly without a good reason (and better it is when you let out a malicious one), or do a strange gesture, pose or other they look you as a weird person, you know that your real friends would appreciate your silly actions. Even if they could look you impressed at first, if they’re as weird as you are, they even join you for the expressive motion of the Attribution.

               Well, on School, where the groups are so marked, express their actions and say this is the normal thing they do. Everybody can say that, but when one group says the actions of other group are weird is because they don’t know the importance of those actions. It’s true, that some actions on some groups are risky to maintain, and certain groups could do actions of nonsense they would consider it as normal. But if their actions don’t hurt themselves and other people, and gets the good benefit in a certain way and with its personal improvement, they shouldn’t be prejudicial. I talked generally, but the voice of your inner you should tell you what is right, what is wrong by sensing it.

So, for the awkward retribution, this:

·         Did you know Internet is used by more people than you think? Because when it comes to statistics, it is always relative, so those people that didn’t get on account are unthinkable to you.

·         You should not laugh at certain things because the logical is clearly stupid for you. Why should we need to follow the canned laugh just because they put it?, sure that part is funny for the Can. “Can can can canned laugh”

·         The images around you are really the perception of a translation of light, you should close your eyes and approve you will still see the light. Not believe me? Press firmly your eyes and you’ll see.

·         Did you know you can hear the silence? Your ear can sense everything it moves, so because nothing stops even with atoms, the silence is practically hearable, in other words, there’re no silence in this world. You can’t argue with that, unless you are a deaf person (which in this case you’ll need to ask the Nerdy Part to apologize because of this weird idea of hearing the silence… u_u)

·         Did you know you are so predictable?, because even with the efforts of not laugh at any of this retributions, because they were going to be awkward, your resistance were futile because I know clearly you tried to pronounce the phrase of Can the can who was canning  the canned laugh.

·         Therefore, you proved yourself you are as awkward as me, because things like this are irresistible to the person of the Attribution. You should admit it. Because after this you won’t find another opportunity in the world of strangers. Don’t be shy. You know also I got also embarrassed by putting this on public, didn’t you?

·         Did you know if you got here is because you are interested on my entries, so I should thank you for following me and joining me in this funny awkwardness in which theoretically everyone should see it, because it is public to everyone, but only you have made so far? (I should give you another cookie...)

“-Now for the appearance in this day, my Nerdy Part! *yay*”

“-Don’t get so happy just because you have put some random things here.”

“-Seriously, I introduced you formally and that’s the answer you say?”

“-Oh, in that case. Hello, Reader, I do my best to comply to the silly discussions with the Main Part, the one who writes the entries. My function is to make this dummy to get real what he says on each entry, so he could understand what things are not appropriate for him. Until now my function is working well, at least on warning him, but I can admit those entries are entertaining and funny too. That’s it for now.”

“-Thank you for…”

“-Now, for this entry contribution, do you want me to calculate your percentage of awkwardness you have done on this entry? You need to know this, because definitely this has passed your limits of awkwardness.”

“-Overcoming shyness! It’s that meaning something to you?”

“-Yes I do, but awareness of your actions are also needed.”

“-But what that is going to be useful for.”

“-This, is going to make you expresses yourself without hesitating.”

“-Oh, and?”

“-You need to practice more.”

“-B-But you said I passed my limits….”

“-Still not enough.”

“-At least I was random wasn’t I?”

“-I’ll consider that on the report…”

“-Report? A-Are you serious? I-I didn’t do anything wrong…”

Expression of Nonsense

Yay, another entry! (Sure it is... *heheheh*). Sure you are one of the few people who have seen this blog, and it’s only two months old… [-Yeah, your carefulness of the words is kind of difficult to comprehend…]

But hey, even if I only share to the ones they care for me, I could make this blog an awesome one for them. So, there it seems to be a simple blog entry. But my mind is developing a fast idea topic in order to complement the first idea written. I could say nonsense and try to challenge people to tell me what did I say with all that. Or maybe I could need some topics taken from everywhere and try to express that with my own experiences and ideas, so they could enjoy more this blog and the main purpose to making it.

I want to be constant with my entries, but motivation motion and support is needed to make this blog be more ‘alive’ and then the sharing will be easier. If they don’t care much about it they won’t look this as interesting. Because, "what things he would write that my complex and mind full of experiences could see it as amazing?". Maybe you can prove it if you see all the information that is presented.

Also, my entries are especially designed for the reader to see it’s not a simple blog for one reader. Therefore, I’ll do for the better understanding of the practical social expression with those entries. Although I am the one who writes this blog, I’m free to hear your comments, suggestions and other things regarding this blog, how you feel with the information explained and also language grammatical expressions and other things.

Really, I have so many things to talk about, only need the support and the ideas from you, for as you can see, it’s difficult for this guy to express his true points of view [-Without feeling very observed by everybody]. 


"-But I can overcome this nonsense of my lack of skills...
"-Only because you want that your friends can make a better perspective of you..."
"-Expression, it's all about expression!"
"-...*seems kinda skeptical* "
"-How can everybody can easily express themselves even in Internet?"
"-... and even the ones who in real life there are not so talk-active..."
"-..., because they fell not pressured with the eyes of each person, but even I...."
"-Yeah, yeah, I understand; your active mind will easily visualize the people's face..."
"-Hmm... *not satisfied with that...* "

The Nerd’s Potential

                Hello everyone. Hope you like the design of this blog. I’ll do my best to stay in time with my entries. Although it’s kind of difficult try to update this page, this is going to be one awesome blog to share to you reader. If you read this, thanks for visiting my page. Hope to get another vision of the world written by me (hehe).

               

               Now, the moment you’ve been waiting for. This time I will show you awesomeness in many forms. But those awesome things I have were hidden by my only lack of medium of expression, so you’ll see that everyone has something to share. Here I go:

                When I was a child, I have a passion over videogames. I liked them because it was entertaining see some red pixelated thing jumping over tubes and smashing mushroom-type enemies and turtles.  Oh how entertaining memories playing Mario Bros. for the Nintendo Entertainment System (or NES in short). Seems that when I had one year playing the NES, the Nintendo 64 have been lunched on the market. But still I was unaware of those consoles. Curious that I had more NES games than other cartridges in other consoles (I wonder if there were given as a present…), but there were classics like Mike Tyson’s Punch Out! , Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT), Rad Racer 2, Robocop, Super Contra, and ones whose name weren’t important at that time like Roger Clemens' MVP Baseball. Also games like Zelda “Link’s Adventure”, and some F1 racing game in which you have to build to win races..., with the catchy song starting the game (hehe). 

                Then Super Nintendo, with Mario All-Stars, Mario World, Megaman X, Mario Kart, Donkey Kong Country, TMNT Turtles in Time and two of Batman’s games, and then the Game Boy with Pokemon Blue and Final Fantasy Adventure (those two are so amazing! ) . Also when the Nintendo 64 came to my house, I was excited to see Donkey Kong move along the area (I don’t recall if I have seen the difference in the graphics, only I say that was awesome). Also with Super Smash Bros, and the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Well, I didn’t have so many videogames, but I was delightful with the ones I had...

 [I hope later on to specify in another entry some of my favorite games and experiences]

                Then I had the Game Cube, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo DS, some PlayStation 2 with some raccoon robbing for a “good cause…”, and the Wii (which it was a gift…). As you can see, I CAN SAY I LOVE VIDEOGAMES SO MUCH I STILL PLAY IT!,… aaand, they are useful to clear your mind and have some fun. Role-Playing Games are my favorite, because of the stories they have, following the action games and one or another strategy/puzzle game.

                I think it was my first approach to the world of awesome things, having the notion of a gamer who simply likes to play games. Then the computer and the internet have other things to play also…

                Now, for "The Nerd's Potential" Title Value:

That's right!, I have my love in math things and computer issues, not so fan of history and neither read so many classical books, I have my notions of science fiction, and I show a little of awkwardness.

“-Yay! I like how this blog is becoming so far…”

“-Yeah! It’s so blue, I like it too.”

“-Now for more idea development. My vision of this Standard Attribute will make them more aware of the Situation...”

Expressing Introversion out of your known space...

Having fun doing the things you like is a good thing. But it’s better to share what you do with other people. As a reserved person, I was always playing videogames alone, and staying in the computer not always chatting with other people. But when I discovered the great world of good playing and awkward moments, I was delightful to have friends who I could talk about videogames and stuff.

There are many activities that you can share with others, like playing trading card games, RPG games, watching a good movie, especially if it is a superhero movie of a sci-fi or fantasy one. Other than that, the most awesome activity you can share with others is going to conventions of comics and videogames and Japanese manga. 

When I was first invited to go into one of my local conventions (I didn’t want to go alone before…), I was so impressed of how many people was into all the stuff of “cosplaying”  their favorite character, and playing card games and also videogames. Also, there was quite a variety of items like clothes or bag packs and accessories of one character. Also I liked that some people weren’t afraid to sing their favorite songs and express to so many people their good costume they made.

There were other conventions I went (not quite a few but not all of the ones they prepared) and their focus were to known modern Japanese anime, a few of comics and videogames (and also digital design). It’s a good thing having those events, so you can know people to trade cards with of just to have a good time. But well, I don’t have awesome cards to ‘duel’ with some powerful deck, nor have the skills to win to someone who knows all the skills of their favorite fighting characters, and win easily.

Although I have little time involved into “Expression of Introversion”, I have played many games and quite seen some anime series. But my motivation is to know more about how people like to gather comics of every kind, how famous franchises like Star Wars, and how games like World of Warcraft are so awesome. Maybe is just the “Cultural Vision” of what everyone else sees about us the ones who likes things like that. Of course those kinds of passion for those series are the reason that everyone gathers to share it. But it seems that is up to the place you live and the things you do who determine the way you like all those things.

It’s confusing that I have to relate ‘nerdy things’ to some specific series and associated material (because I’ve seen on the Internet that it’s a fact, but it's not always a rule...), and also to have somewhat a large collection of items. But I think expression is not always having the most valuable things into your room. It could be enough knowing what you are talking about is awesome and the other agrees with great enthusiasm (if they not, Internet has all kinds of group to admire a single character…). 

But that’s when adventures begin, getting the ambiance to state idea into active motion, apply learned things and having more fun with it. With school activities and such, there can be a time when you can enjoy doing what you most like. Because of course, the "Standard Motion of your Personality" knows that all has to be in balance (so does school, so you can get better things *hehe*).

-“Yay! We’re going on adventure!”

-“Well, so you are now going to show what you are capable of…”

-“And soon, things are going to be so easy!”