It was a ordinary day, like any other, I would look at the computer seeing if some Paint sketch was interesting to do. Already entering Middle School, and a lot of things yet to happen. I was still a kid and much of the world that I didn't know at that time.
At that moment you knocked the front door and I saw you. You're that kid I had a great time spending at Elementary School, on those last years of being children. Seeing your colored glasses was simply amazing.
When I got to see you, you asked me one question: What is my e-mail? At that time, I think I didn't have an e-mail account, not even know what the Internet is. I could know that it would happen, because at school I was utterly blamed by one homework I didn't do on the computer, I didn't have one at that time, nor a way to research what they asked. But seems like everyone was getting into these things they called Internet. Even commercials were talking about it. I was unaware about it, but somehow I wanted to know more.
You were the one that made me enter an amazing world I was yet to discover, but even if we just get to know better, I had lots of issues with myself, and the only thing that were connecting us, was our e-mail user accounts.
I remember spending more time with you at recess, playing Pokemon Trading Card Game matches. I didn't have the money to buy it, nor even know where to find it. I find more interesting having a copy on those cards, even if they look black and white. Despite that you lend me some of yours and started playing. It was awesome! I would love playing with you.
Though you were mean with me at start, I don't know exactly what happened, but you were picking me on constantly on things I didn't know. Or I was too weak to receive your little fists on my shoulders as if a salutation was made. I called mom, and mom talked to you not to be mean with me. Didn't know how you reacted but then you ended being mean with me.
After that time, we became friends. At recess we would spend most of the time together, playing more card games, talking a little bit, playing childish games, clapping our hands in a fashion manner, even tickling games, I got tickled the most
until a point I almost wasn't able to handle all the laughing and such. Playing at the sand and try to build imaginary worlds, and smash them with our hands.
Then the last year came another friend with us and we spent the time together. We would play most of the time, and sometimes I would cry at my frustrations on not winning games with you. Then other two girls were playing with us and we would have the perfect team on recess time. It was all what I wanted to happen!
Sadly, it didn't last. What will keep us apart was after graduation. I knew we will go to separate schools, that we wouldn't spend time on another recess again. Remember right at the ceremony talking about twin girls appearing at a show acted by one person, and Pokemon Crystal, trying our best to solve the puzzle of the Unown. I didn't even had that game but with that I would always remind myself to keep playing Pokemon all the time.
Even after that, you invited to your house lots of times, we would play with your games on the computer and on the Play Station you had. Remember playing the Sims with you, trying to keep our player healthy and clean, then playing arcade games like Capcom vs SNK and Soul Callibur II, as you have it more, it was more obvious you would beat me on those games, it was obvious. We would talk on chat on so many things I don't know if it was a lot or only it was something.
You still had your ideas, and my other friend envied you somehow, it was confusing having two friends who can't comprehend each other, still it was a nice thing going to your house and play. But then some day you said you can't receive me, but it was okay, so I could go the next time, but it was the same. And then one day I go to your house calling at you, trying my best to see if you were there, but you didn't answered. I resigned and returned home. It was the last time I tried to see you.
We didn't lose contact though, I knew you were there on the Internet, we didn't talked too much, but you were still there. Clearly enough we maintained our Messenger e-mail accounts, and it was all right. Didn't feel the need to talk to you though, maybe I was scared to be rejected again, no one seemed to notice that. And though that distance of our houses wasn't long, my insecuritues and our different path clearly make distant our encounter.
I became shy, but I knew one day I would overcome this and start making reencounters with people. the ones I really cared about. We would see us again on Social Media where I started late, again, and, I could clearly see you playing games like I am, it was nice playing games, and didn't know you're were good at typing. It was a challenge I wanted to beat.
One day I had a dream. I was in a forest, it was all colorful green, the sunlight made the tree leaves brighter, I was running, and I stopped at some piece of wood, fallen from an old tree. Then I saw you, smiling, looking at me with some bright in your eyes, it was cool to see you! I always wanted to talk things, how everything's going, what becoming of our lives, if we can become friends again..., then you went apart of where I am, still seeing at me, you just went away and I was chasing at you. Waking up, I just feel nice to see you in a dream, feeling the sensation I can really see you some time....
But then, one day, one call, received by mom, and some minutes after, would give me a shocking sensation I've never felt before.... Mom told me, and I just couldn't understand. Who are you talking to? Are you really sure it was him? It could be someone else, it couldn't be him....
They didn't mention your name, making it more confusing the situation. So that would mean, yesterday you were there somewhere, but now you weren't there anymore.... But strange enough, I felt nothing about it. Didn't make me sad, just shocked, and confused. I kinda denied it, and I thought you were still there, somewhere around here, I didn't really wanted to search more than that I had already received.
There were days and days thinking about you, and though I knew where they going to make a proper goodbye, I didn't go. I just couldn't. How can I properly approach to you when we were distant from each other? I felt weird not going, but I didn't know what it surrounded you. I'm a stranger to them....
There were days when I was really confused when I see you on status updates, you were appearing! As if someone wanted you to keep you alive! But then I was only an illusion, and northing more were posted related to you.
That's when I realized, you were gone....
I told my best friend, looked that he was the last he knew about it. But what he didn't know is how I really wanted to be more in touch. He didn't even know well the situation, but I guess it was still something out of our ambiance, but I didn't think of it as such, even if it was true.
Around all these years, sometimes I think about you, about how great you were, on how you liked Pokemon, your way you talk, about your fascination about Sailor Venus, and your like on Sailor Moon. You were the only I know that like me liked the series. All what you have left, and your smile. I don't know why I like your smile. But I like it. And your colorful glasses. At least that's what I remembered about you. Looking at your face on your profile, you didn't had your glasses, maybe you had changed on your face, but still you were the same.
I want to be honest to you. I like you the way you are, despite our differences. And..., I really wanted to meet again. I really do.
Maybe, once I get the time, I'll meet you where you stay, and, maybe I can give you a proper goodbye...
I want to cry your departure, and say I really cared about you going away, that I wasn't cold to think on such things, that I wasn't indifferent, that I REALLY...
..., miss you a lot.
I would think, for the last time, you would appear, and looked at me, I would like to think, you remembered me, who I am and all the things we've done together, and finally say to me
"It's all right, you don't have to worry."
Feeling like a hug I could embrace you and comfort me but you keep telling me I shouldn't worry. And then you would say
"Thank you. For being part of my life"
[Last line is the Alternative Title...]
