Family Matters

     I don't usually talk about my family, therefore the use of the word,. I usually referrer it as a near position, a point in which there are people who exists the nearest form myself. my parents, my brothers. those are my family. the first social position i have, the near position most available at my own disposition, the ones who stay to maintain in our own reality as  a unity,  and a initiative of support for no apparent reason because we know each other more than everybody.
     Though, my family is weird in some way other families have more in common. And if comparing families may be common and not to be considered for obvious reasons, it's the same reason I am what I am now. Sounds weird that I couldn't get out of my normal self to liberate myself from the clutches of the near position, but what I think it can be of help is that I know the way I'm living in this place has to be more interactive, or at least more social.  
     But then, my relatives's other families and how they live. I don't know it at all. And that's what it worries me. They should be a certain chain of gossip on what's going on with my parents' other brothers and sisters and how they handle all those situations in life. I simply don't know it, because, my parents won't give too much detail. Both of them.
    Though I know this position will maintain even after the disbanding of the first social position, I'll talk about it, because... everybody talks about it...? I don't know if people think of that possibility, that the data will transcend the time and space, and that it will still maintain its power and emotion, as if it were a book.
     My living isn't as great, and people would say, 'but me neither is as great...', and that can't be debatable. I know I have things others don't have, and that we people worry about those things we don't have. One of those is, I don't know much of my other cousins, and other far relatives. We don't live all in the same area, everyone has different parts in which they live. In fact, we're the ones who left....
     Thinking that my brothers once were the best, that we played the same games, and done the same things, but as for now, we have different worlds, and we hardly speak with each other, it has been a lot of years.... I once tried to be with them and trying to understand them, but the connection wasn't as successful as I wanted.... Being the one who wants to interact with the others, despite my Introverted capacity, it has been very tough....
 

"Great Support Gathering Motion", a rambling of sort...

... kinda....

Another thing I wrote, this time it was from one year ago. It may apply though...


"I need your help.

It's just a matter of a minute or two of your attention in order to obtain valuable motivational words of wisdom from you. There are some points of my life that were left behind unfinished, some rupture between all a timeline that were corrupted and never repaired. Some points that I have been carrying all the time that weren't useful to make new changes. I'm trying to repair all of them. 

Also the motivational wisdom will be able to unlock most of the blocked memories and inhibitions so the light on the Position can shine brighter like the time before all those weird things happened around me. If I couldn't get on you the same way you do on others, it's because of some blocked motion.

I know I can't tell everything in order to make attention, and I know I wouldn't use my experiences so I can get something, but it is just a moment of attention that I lacked sometimes... I didn't want to say it, but sometimes I feel that loneliness covers around me, and I feel kinda sad about it. I know that I can recover from it whatever I want, but I just don't want to live that way if I know I can be more than what I am right now.

I know also that I don't demand friendship a lot, even if people seems to be the ones who want to be heard, caring less to others. I know if I keep this is because I can live with that, but I know that it will be one time that I would not stand upon that living.

I don't know what to obtain from all this, I just know I'm different from all the people, and that if I have to do those kind of actions in order to make an attention to everyone, just to make a great repair, is because I'm just a different person, who lived different things, and thought different ideas...

I just want to do the things better, but resources seems to lack on me, I just couldn't get all the info to make a good sharing, so maybe I'm not the best on all this. I know people care. I know people are social. I know I can overcome all this, and then renew myself.

So yeah. I can give you motivations, like this: Just be happy and do what you need to do!

I feel my shyness is getting less prominent, even though is nice to act awkward to silly moments. Maybe I don't care less of what I do, people seems to consider my way of life, I guess..., so after I feel from the wisdom of you that I'm just in the right direction, a little change and be clear to be a better person. And so make a great consideration to you, like you do to other people.

Have a nice day!"


Curious enough it has a different font :P

Time passes again, a rambling of sort

I'll leave this because I can.

    The position of motion knows better its unbalanced position after several bumps on the wall with the head, that the things left unnoticed were increasing its own eventual meaning, covering all elements of a single group and fulfilling with the glow of life they have.

    Of course I have my own group, being one element on the list, but if a proper understanding of what it is to be part of a group is overpowered what it seems to be the real thing about social groups, I should have done more to really make believe those in which position we are, and in which situation pushed me in order to make that noticeable in me. 

    We are all different, yet, the same in one thing.
Yet, why I feel like I'm not doing the best thing...?
What's missing? Or what's this feeling I have that always I'm not satisfied...?
And even if I know what's wrong, what's the answer, I still feel to tell about it?

    Because that answer is the thing I can't rely, the thing that is the reaction of what others think and say after I place beside them what I think about....

    Somehow that feeling of receiving appraisal is SO wonderful, I just wanted to receive it everyday to the ones I care the most. And the shattering of dimensions was deep enough to lose myself into the horizon, finding in the unknown that affection needed.

    A-and, even so, my usual nature of myself seems too low t-to reclaim that repressed part, that for s-so many others, they seems t-too natural to do. T-that's maybe one of the main reasons people don't doubt in say on what to think and to explore a little bit more of t-themselves, and why they can extend their world without a-any worries, having the security that if something happens, t-they can talk about it. 

Because they'll eventually find the response from them.....

As time passes, a rambling of sort

As time passes one can't tell what to expect now,
'cause of doing the same to one again and again.
Ending up being quiet, not knowing what to say,
who to blame, what to complain, when to tell,

And people don't know what their actions shines,
and get influenced on others' emotions....
But we don't know either how they actually feel,
when we do something we seem to look natural,
but for them it's a unnecessary action and that
they feel it's too much to handle themselves...

A confused mind is still there unless I speak,
but that doesn't come out easily enough,
I only say distance wouldn't care because,
pointing far away is difficult anyway, and more
trying to reach it could be risky, it may hurt.

My own sphere is constantly getting bigger,
and at the same time, getting smaller.

I don't fit in any reality plane dimension area,
and my voice seems to fear to reclaim it,
at least with a little joke that seems real.
"Why you didn't invite me last time...?"

I admit I came late, that was too obvious,
I admit there's no other slot left behind,
People has their lives arranged and they
like to be that way, no need to change,
but that need of changing often of me,
people sees it at an abnormal situation.

Am I actually bad to people..? Can I be it?
Am I a bad person now? When did I become one?
Can a bad person become one because of silence,
not knowing what it was wrong before...?

And people still adds friends, people still comments,
people still is on-line, people still talks,
people still wants to do everything to feel they do,
and people believe they know what others do....

I don't know. And that's sad.
Not even dare to go to open chats.
I just wanted to know, or it's my stupid idea.
But they say it's not the moment now.

So when then? They don't even know either.
That my ambiance seems too normal that it's not.
Too sad to know I can't do anything if,
that anything has to be solved with the thing
I'm fearing the most, I marked my destiny.

So I know I'll be left behind, because they
have stronger influences and they know how.
They know how and I don't, people don't get it.
They get strong desire and I can't make it rise.

Left behind with my weak voice,
negating the need of feeling bad things,
as I believe because I can do better in this world
I can forget reality to explain to others.

But as ironic as it seems, I have this fear,
that people can make what I post for real.
Negating reality, sure ironic contrasting ideas.
And people still seems to be happy...!

I seem to be happy, I believed that a lot,
maybe I don't care about what I lose in crying,
though I shouldn't be doing that more than once,
not at least once per week, I should be strong.

They don't tell me to be strong, but they show it,
and even if I dislike to show what I'm going through,
and even if I dislike crying in front of others,
and even if it's difficult to tell what I feel,
and even if others would later comfort it with words,
they're still standing up on life...

Seeing them stand for life,
makes me notice I should too....

The video-games stole my son!

Original Title: "The video-games stole my son!: Opinion on how people see video games"

    Hello again, If my position can get more what I can do on my own position, I might do more than tree posts a day, but I'll need a lot of effort and creative motion.

    So, I'll begin. Recently I was seeing the TV, in my ways of not getting bored, when I wait for my parents for dinner, in fact they were the ones who put the TV. The channel we're seeing transmitted a show, every day show. They were talking about video games. Curious how they were talking about a topic on a TV, and on a general channel show.... Anyway, the show presented a mother and his son. The son with a lost look, the mother, rather young. First it was the mother talking about his son, about him playing video games all the time, unnoticed by the ambiance and his future responsibility of having attention on what is to come (aka parenting...?). But then they bring the son with the mother, and the 'show' gets into action.

    I just realized from start the weirdness of this show, just because of the bragging of the guy and a repetitive call to the presenter. Really weird... They continue by saying, this guy is a 'developer', what he said being a 'system programmer', something I don't seem to be the main reason, despite its name anyway.... Still the situation presented there seems way worse than most of the things and, even the seriousness of it, it was not for an intelligent mind.

    A guy that seems to be a programmer, a game programmer? a design programmer? They don't tell well, only that it has great school scores, just that his addiction of video games changed him. Maybe his background has something to do. Still, its seemingly obvious acting didn't convince me....

    They say, playing a lot it's too much. They say, you should do something better in your life to get going. They say, it will affect you somehow. They say, there are better priorities to do. All in a way looks like valid points, but still, something was bugging me when I was seeing the show....

    Because, we know we have to be careful when playing video games. That's true. But then showing the wrong wrong side of the video gaming world seems kind of incoherent, specially from the ones who don't actually knows how to play a video game! Still it's kind of a weird situation.

    As a software developer, and looking at this similar me on the person of this guy, I can't relate the difference and of course I can't sympathize the despiting idea that they do showing to the people don't know about video games, and it doesn't seem to change, because that's what this show is about. They're likely to show bad things over good things about some thing that, having not the proper precautions, it may cause  repercussions.

    What I really didn't like, was the fact of showing the 'Throwing ball to get a monster' thing they were referring to an incident that it just happened in the anime!

Now, for the variation of the same post, I have found this video:

[Thanks for making this video, at least people'll know what show I'm referring to :P]

I have seen it and most of the things I said here, he said it.
    Only the thing of the political thing or the 'manipulation thing', and the 'same-level' of commentary thing, or the full take of the same negative things said, despite the positive-neutral thing, or the general thing despite it's acknowledgeable the kind of show, although it's obvious the kind of info that only have a very strong impact on ignorant people.

    But still, the common thing is that, they HAD a lot of time, and it could be better to explain BETTER, but of course, they wanted to place commercials, and what it's very weird, is having the attention of a topic to place advertisements and ending up with a question on what happened to the boy.

    In one loong 10 minute break of commercials, I went to some corner of the street to buy 7 tacos [those who know how fast and small tacos are, it's not that much :3 ], and returned, and it was 1 minute away from the next section.

    For those who ask, I know I shouldn't be making attention to it, but as the guy of the video said, that show is seen by more people we on the User Realm we can imagine, so that something to worry; and because I love video games, another point of view is good.

Cold and Windy Days

    The weather has changed, and surely like last year, it came quite strong. This week, strong and cold winds arrived nearby. It wasn't as cold outside, but those magnificent chilly blow of nature made colder everywhere. Even my hands were shaking.
    I was reminded about how many days we have left before this year ends. We're on December, so we're closer than in other months. This is the time where we usually think what are of us, where we are now, what things we have achieved, and where we are going to go next. Maybe those ideas come in an inappropriate moment, where we can't think of a better action to do.
    You see, it's cold, you want to not want to go out of your bed, trying to get cozy with some chocolate or coffee, and sometimes your body can't do anything more than staying here, perhaps near a heater or near the fire of the chimney. And our mind may get a little sleepy, as we try not to, because we would lose our motivation to continue seeing anime or try to end a level, or finish 100 more lines of code, or doing all of the above. Pushing ourselves on those conditions is hard....
    As we approach winter, we see people that likes to complain about the cold, or like it for some reasons. But we always want to complain about how extreme our weather is, so it's in our nature to get information on how we can adapt to those changes. On here the weather has been changing from cold to hot, to windy days to dry air, even you can't expect to wear a sweater or not. I can't tell until I feel outside how is the weather.
People talk about weather, and then they talk about their topics in life. The problem with myself is that I can't usually find a proper comment to add to the conversation, so when I say something, it usually ends up in a random comment.
    But then, cold windy days might get a little bit warmer on the next week, sure those changes on the weather are weird....

    And I don't know what else to say, I'll guess I'll do more stories, seeing I'm just days ahead of New Year's Day, kinda worried and sad because I couldn't get to post more, but I guess I had fun :B