Feeling like you have to be sorry....

[DOUBLE POST AGAIN...! I have to be careful with that later....]

    Today, yeah, so I don’t know why I have to be sorry, moreover who I have to ask an apology. Because it’s not like I feel to have done anything wrong, because nobody said that I have done so.
There are the two sides of a single story:

    One, the situation of having online friends, meeting then and talk to them, but feeling like it’s difficult to maintain those relationships. Of course, as long as it’s only in the online domain, it’s not going to be different than a real life friendship, unless that online contact is one of your real life friends. I don’t deny the fact they are online friends, but in the actual situation I am, I’m searching for a huge amount of support on the online friendships, so I can reach the real life level. Still, I’m here always, I just have to search the one who is here always and talk, or have a chat or something, hehe.... I have to dare myself.

    Two, the situation of feeling like you haven’t made a good impression to the other person and therefore he rarely appears, or that he may reject you or something.... Again, the online friendship is only a different kind of relation, and that if you have some good real life friendships that only have your online communication with them, it’s obvious that you won’t go further, but if someone is on the position of going further, you have to face whatever thing everybody else would say and face it. But maybe I don’t have courage to talk to people.... or what to expect when they do unexpected things, especially after I have talk directly to them, but maybe it’s not my fault what makes them have those kind of decisions, but sometimes, in order to not make me feel bad they don’t say a thing, and that’s what I get wrong ideas. I would rather, and it’s better to make things clear in order to make a decision of continuing or searching for other things, because in some way I’m giving my time for someone, and that’s a consideration.

    I just feel weird, because everyday I’m here, so if somebody is not here I kind of wonder, and I wonder more if I have made a conversation and he may not have answered. I’ll give them time then. It’s not like I want to know right know the answer, because this is the Internet, even if it feels like we’re all face to face.

Being not a intimidation to online users

I feel strange...
..., because I can’t tell exactly how to react towards online propositions, requests, comments and other kind of retribution that either I made or that they do.
I know the essence of the Nick that is StndNerdBoy11 has a commitment of not being a bother to others making them uncomfortable to talk or refrain of doing something. That’s for sure, and if something is making you uncomfortable, just talk to me and I’ll make a solution. Because not because of my great sympathy and comprehension, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t dare to at least talk to one of you. Because if we are all users, is because our public position will confront others and have a great time with them.
Even if I’m the one who is shy upon new things, making comments and talk personally to each of you, I would like to have that interaction, to share and to practice, so I can gain confidence.
But then there are two things that seem to be a factor of regression that seems that the user’s not being cooperative to your kind requests. One is shyness to make a good response, and other is being absent at the computer, which it’s a common thing.
In fact, not being there all the time is very common. Because you won’t be all the time and you won’t ask to be all the time. The content of what you post is some proof that people would expect something from you at a certain time. If they would like to talk to you, they set a time to chat, or maybe something to get into you, or at least they send you an email.  Sending emails is the most common form of contact maintain, and if we’re patient enough, and if we are kind enough, we’re sure make a good response, but if we don’t, we don’t have to feel sad. Even if he may be a great user that you may admire, there sure are others that can share the same things.
I do have issues on this kind of situations. I would talk to somebody, saying hello or something, and most of the times I was rejected. I know I was very kind, but it was unlikely to respond. That’s why sometimes I don’t have courage of talking people....  maybe I just have to talk to everybody else just to know that I’m not insisting on one, and maybe somebody would respond as kind as expected.
So, whatever you are, I respect you, I have patience, I won’t pressure you, but just to know that you are awesome and I think we can share a lot of things, and have fun together.  :D

Thoughts of User Content Searching

(DOUBLE POST! hehe, because this is a little different from the previous one... hehe)
    In my previous post I was talking about us programmers to develop software and that communication on the social networking has improved, with all and the new technologies.
    Having the internet go at high speed connections allowed people to communicate more easily to other people, having their sites expressing what they think and trying to express emotions in a single post they made. In a fast-growing world, people can post whatever thing at everyplace possible at any time without having to be standing at the computer, which makes communication a lot easier.
    Even more, people has more possibilities of having their own web site with content that they place themselves telling who they are, what they do, what things they like and what they aspire in the future. They are like some sort of celebrity, and I say that because the posts are send to everybody to see that web site, and like that sort (or maybe unlike....) they can’t guess who will see them. They would often say: “If you don’t like what I post, better not come around here”, but usually they have things that someone may like but sometimes he may not be able to handle certain posts they made. As if they can’t maintain the pace and type of writing, they don’t measure the impact of their posts, unless someone tell them so.
    It’s difficult as a user to go through all those pages with lots of information. We can’t be wandering at the Internet all the time, but sometimes users demand attention sometimes, feeling they can’t attract others. People follow users but they can’t manage all what they post, but users feel they need their attention to survive.
    So, in an attempt to get popularity, they do varied things that feel it’s the best for getting page statistics. One of those things is making post of great impact, so users that like or that are affected by those kinds of posts would do something about it. Personally, I don’t usually do that, especially if the post remarks some great negative traits on them, making an influence to the weak minds. My negative experience in life, I don’t tell it a lot, and if I do, I focus the attention on the essential, not on the emotional, giving a positive thought. But still it’s uncertain the influence of my posts.
    Because of the last, it is better prepared to have a very stable mind and emotion, so even if they post their dreadful posts you revoke the impact emotion and turned it objective. If you are visiting some place several times, you may say something nice about it.
    Returning to the main point, all those posts are there on different sites, blogs, micro-blogs, social network, community pages and forums. And users don’t care about the essence of data, but on the content of that data. They give them meaning, so they are affected by it, it’s like television. The sad thing here however, is how people can’t understand and control what they posts, and the results include information cloning, and then people reclaims what they post, shouts about it, pressure others, have others to pressure, and insist until they let off of what it’s not of them. I can tell I once had one image posted on Facebook, but the user-value of that site can’t be compared to other sites. I’m aware that what I post is public, but one thing is true and that’s why stealing is wrong: they can’t post things on a high user-value blog that isn’t of them, and neither to make it commercial.
    And again returning to the point, all of this may result in the end in losing of faith, and people looks depressed and kinda sad, but they can’t let off of their user-type or at least on their computer, because it’s also their life. People can do crazy things that they may not again..., so the sad thing is how people take all this info.
    Yesterday I woke up too early, and getting on the computer I looked at so many things, one factor and losing some interesting post, besides that I haven’t sleep a lot, made me feel very anxious, frustrated and very down. I just went to my room and hid beside my blankets, cried a lot and then went to sleep. When I woke up again it was late afternoon, but at least I was more calmed. But at the time I was in that strong emotion, my generation of ideas was taking the influence of the posts, but something took me away of all that influence with a single blow, like a punch. That kind of base motivation is helpful enough to continue on my life and keep shining.
    So, maybe I don’t know people’s lives, and I’m sorry I can’t get into them as I wanted, but it’s only a matter of us to get positive and share it to others.

Uncertain Future for Newbies of the Programming World

    If I say Newbies, is because it’s a starter and is willing to learn about new things. I can’t explain a lot of events that happen in recent times, but listening to them is quite confusing and less encouraging.
    For me that I aim to be a software developer, we have to face several situations in life, at work, the struggle and pressure of having the programs done at a certain time, and struggling with the user interface and user requirements. We need to be capable of learn the things we do and the effects of the user that test and buys the programs we do. It’s a hard work.
    Of course, we make programs, we make web pages, and we make applications (and we make games!), people use it and people pressure to be the best way they wanted to be. But in this fast-growing world, programs and applications are more likely to be focused on communication and user interaction. In fact there are a lot of social networking pages and blogs that remark the user interaction part. We can’t know the management of the content of users, maybe it’s not our business to do so, but of course content management is important to be measured, but that too isn’t as great, there is a thing call report of content, based on what users see. Rating of users is also another issue, and like/dislike is another one. But still our duty is development; the content is part of the user.
    Recently there has been a lot of interaction with the people. Practically a lot of people are inside the Facebook social networking, and before that it was the e-mail/chat. The progress of the social networking is that it was two things: you have your most beloved ones as contacts, and you don’t have to go another place to look the entertainment you want. Thinking of social networking is kind of extense, their range is wide: computers, mobiles, tablets, and it has become a very common thing to do if you want to surf the internet: Having a social network account and see others that post likely the same. It’s very common.
    And because of that, other pages make relation to that social network and make other pages. Making this short, they invite Facebok users to see their pages and make them easy to share them to their dashboard. And then, the impact of ideas becomes into a revolution of ideas. Everyone seems to be open-minded, but their trolling of the post becomes a harsh thing view.
    Because of the impact of the social networking, programmers tend to go into making pages that interact with users, and of course lots of programmers go into the web and mobile side. I like mobile programming; it has been a more common thing to do. But of certainly desktop programs have a lot of importance.
    What I really get worried about is our future in our lives. It’s difficult to tell how our programs will make an effect on people, so we have to be careful and maintain calm; also the influence of the networking and the growing relation to the stealing of content, especially on very private things. Impressing how they can force into getting the information from a vulnerable site, and then use it against it....
    We have a great responsibility, and that’s what worries. Having to care about the information of users is a great duty. I don’t think that in past times they would have an idea on the events that happen because of the communication of users with their posts. Today is more noticeable. And the fact that higher positions of a country organization are getting worried and want to do something is concerning.
    But that compared on having a short life is very depressing..., so my Base Position wouldn’t want to do that despite of the popularity I can get on my programs. That would be unthinkable, or maybe they resemble popular artists that do the same..., but putting ALL of this beside, I’ll maintain my calm and face whatever thing. Of course support is important, but then if not we need our own.
    So in the programming world, don’t be afraid of things, and don’t do things you’ll regret a lot. You’ll maintain calmness and you’ll live longer. And live controlling pressure and with balance.

First Encounter - Thoughts of Acheivement

Somehow, I'm scared.
Somehow, I'm nervous.
Somehow, I'm anxious.

In some way I feel awkward.
In some way I feel insecure.
In some way I feel weird.

Even if I'm decided to make the starting step,
my feet are just not responding....
Even if I know this is a difficult decision to make,
my heart is just invading my mind....

But as I continue to wander towards my inner mind,
the world is continually changing....
Because the influence of data is making people change.
Because the stages of life aren't long and people change.

In a way I can understand, I'm not as awesome as you.
But I have to try, I just have the need of approach to you.
Because I know all the times I have done that,
are because I put ALL my effort to change.

So, when I first met you, is because my mind was willing to do so.
Because when I first met you, my emotions wouldn't let me speak.
And now that I have met you, you weren't aware of it at first.
And after I met you, I wouldn't need THAT effort to do it again.

This GREAT effort of meeting people isn't a normal event,
so maybe that's why I can't have a lot of approaches,
but if I do that GREAT effort, is because of something
and that something is as normal as living.

So when you see that I talk to you,
is because of that effort made of making a bond;
a bond of friendship that needs strengthening,
a bond of caring, a bond of support, a bond of comfort.

Having met you is one of the most daring things in my life;
responding to it, of the most achieving things in my life.

Feel proud about it.
Proud of helping a star that wants to shine again.

Pseudonym Attributions

    I was thinking some days ago about names and usages. I know I have a birth name, and I have a specific username. And I know I need names for characters and places. And I know not everybody uses their real name for social networking for having fun, unless your name would have a higher position in society. People usually use some kind of Japanese kind of name if they like anime, or some other name for avoiding weird situations.

    If they would not mind having their real name, is because of their reasons. But then it comes to my mind the word Pseudonym. This word defines the use of another name for artistic uses or for expression attributions. People have usernames, another name or something to be called to avoid cyber aggressions against society and on the Internet.

    But having pseudonyms means you develop art and you create art.


    So, I have a name that can make the above applicable to use:

    Erick Alejandro Medina Ramirez, in which it is an Original Character, and it can be a pseudonym of representation too. So, for the Status of Bonding, the relation would be: in the actual space of this post, the blog: “A Nerd’s Adventure” is updated by username StndNerdBoy11, this username, found by contact in his profile and by Google Gmail, prepending the <username>@gmail.com has a relation to an established pseudonym name, called Erick Medina. So if you hear the username StndNerdBoy11 you will know his name is Erick and that you can call him Erick anytime and he will correspond to that name.

    They say artists that want to use pseudonyms must have to accustom to be called by that name. I would like to be called by that new name, and it would be grateful that online friends can call me that way.

Erick: "And that’s my name."
Richie: "I know you have a name and that I have one too...."
Erick: "Yeah, even though you are guardian, you are part of myself. So you are like my conscious mind, and you won’t let me go crazy." 
Richie: "Hehehe, that’s my job to keep you on base and up to the goal. So Erick, are you accepting this name as yours, not just StndNerdBoy11, neither the Main Position, but Erick?"
Erick: "Of course, I feel like later I have to explain why I have an OC the same name as I, of course because this OC is me!" 
Richie: "So, with that they can call you and you will feel fine, right?"
Erick: "Yes. I’m just having a great time, even with my anxious moments, but we can increase it!" 

[And with this, my post 100th, I dare you to see it all. You'll find great things :D ]

A post while getting sleepy

Hello!
    Well, what I can say now...? Yeah, I can't make a proper post, because I'm sleepy, and I cannot write as fast as I can because it is hard to make a post in English or in Spanish on whatever language that good and I will. Well, what I can say now...? .Ok, then, my way of writing is kind of particular.  Don’t know what to say.
    I can tell you a story about a boy who has been at school and then he went to a store to buy a bunch of cards and then he got in trouble with his mother because he didn't buy the book of spells....
    Spells? Why spells? And why mom wants magic?
    I'm learning new things and stuff about using touch screens and it's kind of difficult to use, at first, because you are getting used to the writing system and other shortcuts for using it as clear as possible. Here are some typing techniques to use, so, maybe I'll find my own way to write those words better. I don't know, maybe I'll get better writing it and I can do better posts according to what I write.
    So, then, a little story: there is one boy who was standing against the wall. He was crying in silence. I could see tears flowing through his cheeks and he didn't bother cleaning his face. His hands were down, around his waist, closed, but not too much for giving a punch. I don't know why he was standing there, but I know he wasn't happy to be there. I felt I needed to help him and cheering him up a little bit. But I was afraid. I don't know why, but I was afraid. I just couldn't stand against his crying. I didn't know if my words would help him to stop crying so he could be happy again. But then he notices me, and soon after he came after me and hugged me. He was crying out loud and his tears were dampening my shirt. I don’t know what to do but to stay there with the boy. Besides, I am his friend....
    The book of spells was really a present of making magic tricks, and the bunch of cards were scattered around his bed....

Erick: "And this is what I call forward editing"
Richie: "In which I’m present now, right?" 
Erick: "Just because you are here it doesn’t mean that you will be too much on each post"
Richie: "Well, that depends if you save your dialogs well for each post to call me."
Erick: "I’ll do a greater post, and your participation will be greater"
Richie: "Ok, I got it. See you then...."
Erick: "Oh...."

[Richie knows how when to make the right complementary comments....]
[And first I tried to write it on other mobile and then finish editing on my laptop.... hehe]

Random Post of the Month

    Hello, here again for some writing posts of the day. I know it’s difficult to maintain updated on the latest messages I have on different sites and I have to dedicate my time on each of them. I know you have to feel the same, or maybe you just use only one favorite one. Depending of the meaning you give to each post is the way you like more or less one site, and also depending on the content or users-relation you have (in form of friends, followers, watchers, etc.)
    Right now, I’m trying different styles of expression. I know I’m not a Native English Speaker. I know also I need to improve my vocabulary and I know that I need to practice better grammar. But also I want to express my feelings towards certain topics it could be difficult to understand at first, but in a way you have the patience to analyze despite your emotions, and express a meaningful idea.
    Also, I need to keep my pace on giving at least 10 posts a day, with the same quality as every post made. When I get a nice idea of what to say, I’ll try to make a post about it.
    I could say my next posts, or what I plan to post. Some of the first: quality of statistics on a user’s page or site, depending on which site you are, has a certain amount of value, regarding the concurrency of users and posts. Another would be: thinking you are a person of few words, that you don’t have anything to say, not knowing how this person’s life it is. Other posts would be of some funny things and others about series or computer issues, regarding information publishing and talking about specific situations.
    I would want that people follow this post because at least I would know the people to whom I would make those posts. I would search then posts on blogspot to follow too... hehehe....

Erick: "And Richie comes again here"
Richie: "Yay, you didn't forget me"
Erick: "Of course I won’t do that..."
Richie: "I knew you were about to post without me getting into your conversation, but you reconsidered...."
Erick: "The fact is that I have you so to have something special on each post, even on random posts of the Month"
Richie: "Ok..., I take that into consideration...."
Erick: "And what’s your opinion about getting followers on this isolated blog...."
Richie: "At last! I was very lonely because not a lot of people come here to visit... Guarding an isolated blog is boring, and you didn't think about it!"
Erick: "Wow... I think I can’t be in everything having to visit each of you, but you’ll have more visits from me. I’m sure of that."
Richie: "Ok, you can start making a 2013 background, and color redesign"
Erick: "Oh, making another background...?"
Richie: "Also a new front cover..."
Erick: "Eh? But those objects are cool and nice, and I don’t know what new things to draw..."
Richie: "There isn't have to be objects, it can be people, or nature, or something nice...."
Erick: "I don’t know..., I’ll think of it later...."
Richie: "Ok, just hurry up until the new month comes ok?"

First days of the year, and a doubt arises

Hello! Let’s start this New Year with lots of energy.

    But now, something I have been thinking lately as I was sorting my data: I know there’s going to be lots of interesting activities I want to do on this year, of greater value and meaning than the last year, only to prove that I can increase my will and dedication on something I like and on something I can improve.
    I want to change. That’s for sure. I know I’m doing the best I can to make a change or to have another type of events that happens around me, so I can be a subtle light, and so other people would see that light. All the time I spent on writing and drawing and chatting with people made me change and made me increase my confidence and my motivation to continue. I’m happy of that improvement and I’m happy that I can be a better user on this year.
    My always changing mind has been into a great battle of self-learning of life, expecting less from the best methods and always making new choices on the increasing of the data gathering. It is said that I won’t stay with a selected choice all the time, my effort will be constant on searching new ways, even if the ones I got can be enough to be happy or to have a pleasant life.
    That’s why I’m still trying, that’s why I’m not going to leave this behind. The great journey of the friendship and relationship bonds will be the ones I’m facing. New and more thrilling experiences, new and more exiting adventures.
    Now that I have enough experience, I can fully go on the user-type Motion and act normally, hehehe.... Only I need a formal introduction of level up and evolving... I think :P
    Just some doubt I have in mind.... Everything I have made was all by my own benefit and for the expression of someone’s mind, the actions made by one only person and the sites maintained by him.
 
 That is me.

    Other users would have another user from real life near them, and their friendship is as unique as every normal friendship would be. When they are on their computer, they would likely to connect each other and spend the night talking while posting their user sites and blogs and seeing others’ updates. This is not necessary my case.
    Even though I know people that they would do the same, I wasn't cool enough to approach to them at the correct time. But also I don’t follow a lot of what they usually do. I know some people would play with their Xbox360 some kind of fps game, others would play the Wii or the 3DS, I don’t know which game.... Others are more occupied hanging out with their friends I don’t know which place of the city. Others are just having other things in their mind...., others have certain games to play, but most of them have their user-type related on their main social network, so, nothing special.
    The only ones who seem to have a special user-type are people distant from my place of action. This means, if I maintain my normal flow, there would be hardly a chance I would encounter and meet them. There’re like one person or two that I have met; nothing very special, but at least something appreciable. So, yeah, I’m only here for my own benefit.

    The ones they know me know that I draw, and if I show them they would look delightful for the skills I have, but nothing special past that. And the ones that I know they have a special user-type have their own circle of friends. I have friends too, even if not fully considered verbally, only that I’m not too good at insisting, and also I can’t deny the fact I’m of the few ones that I have the sites that I have now.
    But then, I see other users and I’m impressed of the level of position when they post things of various emotions, and then they talk about depressing/mad/very happy/excited things that may be far from their real life form. It’s not like anybody would act the same way on the internet than on real life. If I avoid making complaints at something/someone or state rant or making very depressing episodes I might had once, I might not get enough followers to counter this, but I don’t want to express something very underground and weird and then altering the normal essence of the Position of the Nick.
    Looking on those kinds of posts users make, I feel uncomfortable and I fell on the emotion too..., which I don’t want to feel it. Because if it was an opinion I don’t want to feel angry; if it was a depressing post, I don’t want to feel bad for them more than the necessary; if it is a special someone that has a nice thing to share similar to the ones I have, I would care about it more, even if he would provoke its emotional motion and then regretting it but then caring less about it. People sometimes are confusing, more if they are behind a user-type.

    If there is a necessary post of those kinds I would write it so it can’t show any strong emotional impact, only the necessary to make acknowledge on how I feel.

    So, this is going to be a nice year, I’m going to be more open to you, and I hope we can have an interesting year :D



Erick: "So you came back"
Richie: "After a long time you haven't called me. Now you're going to face how awesome I became now"
Erick: "I needed to call you because my posts would be boring if you aren't here"
"I suppose that's right. So, have you made your New Year's Resolutions?"
Erick: "Eh? I haven't... I only want to a healthy body and mind, and extend my blog posts to 128 >//<"
Richie: "So, if 12 are the months, you have to make at least 10 posts a month, plus 2 more each 3 months..."
Erick: "Yeah, that's right...."
Richie: "Better be awesome all the time so you can stand on the posts this time :D"
Erick: "Yeah, I will..."
Richie: "And don't forget February, the first post, your birthday, and consider me in all your posts... >.<"
Erick: "Ok, ok, I will...! >//<;"

Erick Medina is me, and Richard N. is the one guarding this Space [he was the NerdKind of my conversations... hehehe]