Monday, February 1, 2016

Lift Ups and Slow Downs

    It's February, and we should we getting a nice writing today (despite people telling me not to, but then it's for writing that I get the idea of Life Renovation, so, it's kinda like a process >w<)
 
    A month of lots of stuff but on this day I can spend it to see if my writing skills can make me put some more elaborate and detailed stuff about me so I can make it faster.
See, when I wanted to comment on other topics, say on dA and other pages, I was afraid, or maybe I didn't have lots of stuff to say to make it worth a comment, just even a "Oh that's a nice drawing" thing and that's it. I've always thought of my comments beforehand and I would take like, 10 min or so to make one worth it. Now I can make it in less than 1 minute the enough comment and the even worth comments like in 5 min. So that's  a progress.

    I would take my blog to write like less than an hour, lets see if I can make it in less than ten. Starting from this point:

    So I still have that anxiety of mine but I can't seem to look at it because, well I'll try to explain in my stream of ideas. I get so anxious when I get lots of data to process. I tend to have that obsession of processing  data. And I really shouldn't be doing so because I don't know, I need to relax sometimes right? x3

   I really want to give a try to game development, to improve my programming skills, I see lots of people that makes the huge effort and discipline to concentrate on do stuff until finish and get good results and feedback about what are they doing.

    Games like Touhou and Undertale, where one person is responsible for most if not all of the stuff involving a game, that's a really good motivation point to give a try and say, let's make a game for ourselves. And if I know I don't have all the resource and time to make it happen, what I can do is  still learn, ask people, get into, get stuff, learn from them.

    I don't know if I can get or even recover what I've done on my college days, but I have to try, it's still the same kinda to make something than to review something. If I ever knew how to maintain code I might get to know that it would be so important to maintain, so I haven't lost anything and so.

    Oh, an on to the main topic, I got some feedback from one of the ones who inspired me to keep it up, that I should live to society and have to do stuff that can make me go to the next level. Programming isn't the great deal if one could think. It's a very hard work to do, but it's like the first step if we want to give a shot on everything we need to get into. I don't know they say it because they don't have lots of leaders or so or if some dream idea from them, but it's good to make a follow.

    But then I have that downside where, my emotions can get over me at times, and I kinda go the flow of darkness if I would like to say like that, but I know I shouldn't be following that. It's like, people expect you to do something, though they don't need to tell you how, just expect things, you know how to solve it. But I don't know, if people can get the idea of how I feel. Well really they don't I shouldn't be generalizing that kind of useless stuff. I should keep going forward, but I have to keep my hype up, and the people who wants to follow me are the ones I'll get the stuff done.

   Because, after the lost of most of my data, thinking that I would get a inspiration from that wouldn't be helping a lot, Internet grows a lot on data, and people still have data in their hands. But trying to remind what I did kinda reminds me of the things I can't recover now, but if I didn't make importance of this stuff is maybe because it wasn't that important at the moment, maybe some is more now but, I can really make it over again if a thing is better to be done. Past stuff is past stuff, so, I'll give my time to recreate all the stuff I can show, and learn more from it.

   So, conclusion of my 10 minute writing, I have that feeling of really making stuff, just that, well, people say, not to give a thing about writing and just do it, don't make your dreams be dreams/
But then, I write it so I can settle things, so I can say, oh I'm really gonna do it x3

    I'll just keep ground, stay away from obsession, focus on what to do and which things I need to get to make stuff done, if I need to learn more stuff, if I need to be in touch with more people, who knows, maybe I can make things better this time.