Random Post of the Month

    Why did I want to give my all to show my position to others, to be known by others, to be interested by others?

    Why I feel everything else is just waste of time and I shouldn't do things like I'm doing right now, just to impress others? What's my motivation on doing things for myself? If I ever get something in return for what I'm doing, and if someone would recognize something because of it? There should be that one who no matter what other say, he would appreciate all the things you do. Feeling inside like I haven't got into rough paths and experienced the harsh things everyone else had experienced before. The only thing I've done was evade all of this, instead of facing them. All their tries gave them experience; all the difficult moments gave them knowledge.

    I know I can only stay here under the blankets, not accepting what's outside, but still I'm trying, in my own way, and maybe I'm doing the long way, but somehow I learn more each time I do something risky, but then it's only to know if I still can face again the difficulties in life. I only want support when I feel like failing on something.

    At school, failing's not an option; therefore my positions may have led to something in which mistakes are severely reminded. I can only say that I feel in a better position each time I take control of myself. Hope people can understand my own ways to do things.

    But still then, when I make serious mistakes, why I feel like I can't handle all the emotion emerging from myself? Why I have to face it? Even if my most tremendous fears would come and frighten me to unconscious levels, submerging my body into a dizzy situation that could black me out of my senses, and act desperately? Of course it's just a moment, of course I really dislike it! Of course I would be filled up of strong emotion, unable to think (I dislike that too!), unable to get out one solution, unable to see it clearly, and feeling like my voice expression gets worse to tell what I feel....

    It's just incredible to think the bunch of emotions I have felt, the emotions I got recently and the bunch of emotions to feel in the future. I mean, there are a lot of things I haven't felt, because of my fear of getting too involved into a situation, and getting into great trouble. I can't even notice where are the things I'm doing wrong, I just feel like it, and only feel it is bad,, because nothing can get clear.

    I just have to assume that the things people say are really the things they think, even if something else I might think about it. That thing about trust and believe in words is difficult to put, maybe because of the weird swirl of ideas surrounding the idea of the people who said it. Then, it will be times where I can’t be her maintaining the position of the User, attending reality issues. Then, it will be times where others would do that too. Even if we’re here, it’s only the position on this digital world, maintaining our data in form of bytes, strengthening up our Position of User by the things we do and publish here.

    Nice thing I have written a lot, even if I thought I didn't do so.

Suddenly you feel like you evolved, but...

     I haven't feel any change, at all. Or it seems like it didn't change a little. In fact..., I have a strong love of my design made for this blog, or maybe because I don't have lots of time to see it. At least I want that a hundred of people could see this blog, look at it and tell me if they like it as it is, or if I really change it.
     So, what did I prepared,, mostly personal issues to be resolved, shyness suppression at its most (I'm still shy though >//<), the eminent return of Richie (man, I need your conversations more often, fresh ideas, aand,a desire for support and promotion >///<, I'm not too emotional for promotion nor I can tell if love or if friendship or if life or if people, but hope I can not focus on you and try to be myself at the same time.
I'll look at every thing or writing I have/had in mind and reproduce it again, hopefully to get more attention to it.
    Also, more drawings and surprising things... so hope we can take a good retribution from all of it :P

Evolution Process - Final Adjustments

I know that I'll would make a evolution process and such, but guess what? I'm almost over.
It's just that, I didn't have time to do it, need some drawings to make, so yeah, it will be a new "A Nerd's Adventure" design, hehe.
Not just it, I've come with new ideas to share, first, a new post series that I called "VideoGames I played as a Boy" [or maybe??], where I'll share all the games I played and didn't have a chance to share it to others, maybe here's a great place to make this. Also, I'm preparing some stories in my mind, I know that part is difficult (or the most difficult) part to develop, so many points and making good linking of events. And also I'll post some more videogames/anime/tech things, maybe programs? maybe programming progress on some projects? Or maybe one someone may be interested to hear :B
I'm giving the effort to maintain this blog as active as I can, I'm not giving up this so easily, or maybe I've been thinking on arrange some posts and place them in another blog, but I haven't think that seriously. I've been into so many things, I may lose some ideas, but I'm willing to keep a steady pace, that's one of the reasons I haven't really make this to happen yet. Let's hope to get this thing going :B

Convention Adventures 005

I should have done this last week.... >///<

    A lot of time passed since I wrote another -Convention Adventures- post. This happened last week. I was testing some new features of realization of Motion and Stability of my Hobbies and other things, proper for new steps.

 I need some inspiration, so a final fantasy music soundtrack would help me do that hehe.

   There it was, a long way behind to reach our destiny (I’m telling a story hehe) and a bunch of people coming to the same direction. I have to keep my cool to myself and continue my way to the Convention Center hehe.

   This time I got a different concept with those conventions, one that gets more common in our region. So, maybe, I could get a little bit biased about it. I could say it’s the same thing as other conventions. Anime cosplay, drawing, videogames, trading cards, and the usual vending things, food shop and a stand on videogame things. Last time I guess I went alone, I didn’t know why, but it was awesome I guess. Now with new minds to remember, how conventions were.



Sometimes, with the friends I was when on conventions, it has that wonderful thing to feel not anxious/embarrassed to be there. But at this time it has to be different. We saw some adventure time stuff and some other ponies stuff and a little bit of homestuck cosplay (a little mean, one or two people). Anyway, what I don't know is how things can happen to not being shy on those kind of things. Maybe because of all material things around that I may not have, or maybe because I can't be as childish as possible to act excited about a videogame or something. But I do it sometimes, but in my way, not to expressive but still noticeable.

   Money has been one of my problems, and now I can see I can do more than just buy something. At least I didn't feel extremely anxious, or maybe I'm expecting something awesome to see. But still it was a test, to see if I can handle it, if I'm still on the way of liking things, despite not all people see the anime/cartoon I see.

   At first, I was not expecting something from it, especially when feeling the nostalgic air of anime at earlier times. Then that position of nostalgia turn the present people into a conversation that has laughs and beautiful moments to remember. I don't know why I can't compel with that very well, maybe again is my lack of expression, but I think people don't care a lot about it. Just enjoy and be happy (like I always say :P ).

   I just hope my linguistic conversation talking with others doesn't be dull and not understandable, that my voice can sound  better to others, and that I can connect different ideas with great view.

   I have a Jake hat-type, I don't know what it's called like, but I like it anyways :3

Fighting Anxiety - of Actions and Time

(This is an Introduction...? of, maybe a series of "Fighting Anxiety"?, I don't know and I'm sorry if I'm not having any specific Idea on this post, hope it's still on the same topic.)

    Trying to make a specific statement of a problem is difficult, even more if I feel insecurity in me. Maybe I shouldn't make it a worrying problem, but maybe I should care about it. Those kinds of insecurity are making me feel anxious... oh.

    Maybe because I don't fit in all points that state the symptoms of someone who is suffering from anxiety or social problems, maybe because I'm mostly hearing the same from my family, even if they may get it or know it, but they were NOT fully aware of my problem. I didn't want that to have it, neither do other people with the same problem.

    But still I have to face it every day; so, "Fighting Anxiety": when it happens unexpectedly, how I try to evade it, how I try to deal with it.

Of Actions and Time

    I have written some Journal on my deviantart page, about what I've been struggling when I'm dealing with not being alone and around people at the same time.

    "I know, from the little experience I have, that people don't have good mood all the time, and maybe, they may won’t talk to you, or maybe they do, depending on what type of connection you have with the other person. It's kind of difficult to think that way."

    "I can't deny that I like my moments alone, and I think most people do. Well, I know they are people that can talk and use social networks to the maximum level that means they can spend the time talking. Most of the people I know in person don't do this too often. Or that's what I want to believe, they mostly watch anime, play videogames, stay a little time reading, doing chores or spending time with brothers, some others might do a little less of all of that to maintain a user-Position like deviantart or tumblr or another place. And also our personal projects and school stuff to attend, so, we have things to do and this is one of them."

    "We must take place on those things that are important to us and not feel like going more on something than other, just because comfort. It has to have meaning, and a certain time to do it."

    Having a change in Motion has made most of my last thinking cut off in half, and thinking it outside the space I was, it made me like, care a little less than last time, and be comfortable with my own ideas. I know that's not gonna be.

    I know also that depending on my mood, if I get a good sleep, eat well and else, causes of getting less/more anxious. If I sleep well and get my ideas in order, I'll get less anxious.

    Last months I wanted to rush lots of things, but doing it so made me lose time. I still have problems dealing with time, and I can't get a proper range of time in which due dates are to be proposed. I know certain things take less or more time, but trying to deal with lots of things I'm lacking, I may have learned a lot of things, but it cost me struggling things and unwanted emotions, maybe the things I lack experiencing.

    An now I know I can extend that range a little bit and act at a more calmed pace, at least on the things I want to learn, I want to do, I want to finish. And yeah, the evolution process I've been telling about is still on course, only that I need more time. No need to rush things you know. When the time and chance is proper, it will be done n__n

Well another post of today, see you around then.

Hard Reset, Soft Reset

    In the process of making my evolution faster, some actions have to be done. I’m trying to make a simple yet affordable retribution in which time is required. Also, some more grammatically correct sentences, more common phrases and a whole bunch of ideas to develop. And also an increasing in recourse, which it will be helpful to provide me with the right tools to work. I’m just glad I’m making the choices that are most likely to lead me to where I’m going to be.
    Do you remember how to turn off the computer? What’s the proper method to close it?  When talking about electronic devices, especially computers, a large process of verification is made when you turn it on.  When the computer shuts down, another whole bunch of verification is made before electricity goes down around the circuits of the device.
    If some problem arises and you can’t shut down your computer, you can simply cut of the electricity and it will turn off by itself. But the problem with that is the computer can’t save random data and other features to save before the operative system shutdown. It’s still a possible case, but the computer will ask you to see what happened and if the computer can solve it if really it happened something bad.
    Well, putting aside the last thing I said, the process of data gathering and data responsibility is a lot.  Most of the people can’t understand their data will be stored there permanently, until proper review is done. Most user deletions on sites sometimes get all its content deleted, but not on everything, the only way to know if  user content will be deleted after all user deletion are, well there are two ways. One is by reading the site policy, and second by seeing the behavior of users who have been already deleted their accounts. The second one is more noticeable as you can see if their posts are still there while when he disappears from the user position of the site.
    Referring as if we have to make a review of content or not, well, that’s the reason for hard reset or soft reset: if you do it the hard mode, you’ll expect to not having control of what you have posted and it’s up to the site to determine if delete it or not. If you do it soft mode, you’ll have to check if everything is in order, and if there is something to take from before it’s too late. Maybe you want to get proper data because you don’t have it in your computer and you’ll need to go to that page to view it. Hopefully most of the sites a user sites have a nice mode to review all of what you have posted, and lots of methods to manage and delete data. The way they gave a user the property of managing its own data easily is the way they give the power to manage the things he can post and control. It’s giving it control of the data to the user, and the user should be able to control most of it. It’s all of what he’s posting and it’s a great responsibility, even if they don’t see it like it.
    Hard mode reset is useful only if you know what you’re doing. Soft mode reset is useful only if you want to get important data, and if you know things are going to be resolved elsewhere, and if they could leave a trace to that and you prefer evade it.
    Somehow evolution is still near, I don’t know why I’m delaying it....