Family Matters

     I don't usually talk about my family, therefore the use of the word,. I usually referrer it as a near position, a point in which there are people who exists the nearest form myself. my parents, my brothers. those are my family. the first social position i have, the near position most available at my own disposition, the ones who stay to maintain in our own reality as  a unity,  and a initiative of support for no apparent reason because we know each other more than everybody.
     Though, my family is weird in some way other families have more in common. And if comparing families may be common and not to be considered for obvious reasons, it's the same reason I am what I am now. Sounds weird that I couldn't get out of my normal self to liberate myself from the clutches of the near position, but what I think it can be of help is that I know the way I'm living in this place has to be more interactive, or at least more social.  
     But then, my relatives's other families and how they live. I don't know it at all. And that's what it worries me. They should be a certain chain of gossip on what's going on with my parents' other brothers and sisters and how they handle all those situations in life. I simply don't know it, because, my parents won't give too much detail. Both of them.
    Though I know this position will maintain even after the disbanding of the first social position, I'll talk about it, because... everybody talks about it...? I don't know if people think of that possibility, that the data will transcend the time and space, and that it will still maintain its power and emotion, as if it were a book.
     My living isn't as great, and people would say, 'but me neither is as great...', and that can't be debatable. I know I have things others don't have, and that we people worry about those things we don't have. One of those is, I don't know much of my other cousins, and other far relatives. We don't live all in the same area, everyone has different parts in which they live. In fact, we're the ones who left....
     Thinking that my brothers once were the best, that we played the same games, and done the same things, but as for now, we have different worlds, and we hardly speak with each other, it has been a lot of years.... I once tried to be with them and trying to understand them, but the connection wasn't as successful as I wanted.... Being the one who wants to interact with the others, despite my Introverted capacity, it has been very tough....
 

"Great Support Gathering Motion", a rambling of sort...

... kinda....

Another thing I wrote, this time it was from one year ago. It may apply though...


"I need your help.

It's just a matter of a minute or two of your attention in order to obtain valuable motivational words of wisdom from you. There are some points of my life that were left behind unfinished, some rupture between all a timeline that were corrupted and never repaired. Some points that I have been carrying all the time that weren't useful to make new changes. I'm trying to repair all of them. 

Also the motivational wisdom will be able to unlock most of the blocked memories and inhibitions so the light on the Position can shine brighter like the time before all those weird things happened around me. If I couldn't get on you the same way you do on others, it's because of some blocked motion.

I know I can't tell everything in order to make attention, and I know I wouldn't use my experiences so I can get something, but it is just a moment of attention that I lacked sometimes... I didn't want to say it, but sometimes I feel that loneliness covers around me, and I feel kinda sad about it. I know that I can recover from it whatever I want, but I just don't want to live that way if I know I can be more than what I am right now.

I know also that I don't demand friendship a lot, even if people seems to be the ones who want to be heard, caring less to others. I know if I keep this is because I can live with that, but I know that it will be one time that I would not stand upon that living.

I don't know what to obtain from all this, I just know I'm different from all the people, and that if I have to do those kind of actions in order to make an attention to everyone, just to make a great repair, is because I'm just a different person, who lived different things, and thought different ideas...

I just want to do the things better, but resources seems to lack on me, I just couldn't get all the info to make a good sharing, so maybe I'm not the best on all this. I know people care. I know people are social. I know I can overcome all this, and then renew myself.

So yeah. I can give you motivations, like this: Just be happy and do what you need to do!

I feel my shyness is getting less prominent, even though is nice to act awkward to silly moments. Maybe I don't care less of what I do, people seems to consider my way of life, I guess..., so after I feel from the wisdom of you that I'm just in the right direction, a little change and be clear to be a better person. And so make a great consideration to you, like you do to other people.

Have a nice day!"


Curious enough it has a different font :P

Time passes again, a rambling of sort

I'll leave this because I can.

    The position of motion knows better its unbalanced position after several bumps on the wall with the head, that the things left unnoticed were increasing its own eventual meaning, covering all elements of a single group and fulfilling with the glow of life they have.

    Of course I have my own group, being one element on the list, but if a proper understanding of what it is to be part of a group is overpowered what it seems to be the real thing about social groups, I should have done more to really make believe those in which position we are, and in which situation pushed me in order to make that noticeable in me. 

    We are all different, yet, the same in one thing.
Yet, why I feel like I'm not doing the best thing...?
What's missing? Or what's this feeling I have that always I'm not satisfied...?
And even if I know what's wrong, what's the answer, I still feel to tell about it?

    Because that answer is the thing I can't rely, the thing that is the reaction of what others think and say after I place beside them what I think about....

    Somehow that feeling of receiving appraisal is SO wonderful, I just wanted to receive it everyday to the ones I care the most. And the shattering of dimensions was deep enough to lose myself into the horizon, finding in the unknown that affection needed.

    A-and, even so, my usual nature of myself seems too low t-to reclaim that repressed part, that for s-so many others, they seems t-too natural to do. T-that's maybe one of the main reasons people don't doubt in say on what to think and to explore a little bit more of t-themselves, and why they can extend their world without a-any worries, having the security that if something happens, t-they can talk about it. 

Because they'll eventually find the response from them.....

As time passes, a rambling of sort

As time passes one can't tell what to expect now,
'cause of doing the same to one again and again.
Ending up being quiet, not knowing what to say,
who to blame, what to complain, when to tell,

And people don't know what their actions shines,
and get influenced on others' emotions....
But we don't know either how they actually feel,
when we do something we seem to look natural,
but for them it's a unnecessary action and that
they feel it's too much to handle themselves...

A confused mind is still there unless I speak,
but that doesn't come out easily enough,
I only say distance wouldn't care because,
pointing far away is difficult anyway, and more
trying to reach it could be risky, it may hurt.

My own sphere is constantly getting bigger,
and at the same time, getting smaller.

I don't fit in any reality plane dimension area,
and my voice seems to fear to reclaim it,
at least with a little joke that seems real.
"Why you didn't invite me last time...?"

I admit I came late, that was too obvious,
I admit there's no other slot left behind,
People has their lives arranged and they
like to be that way, no need to change,
but that need of changing often of me,
people sees it at an abnormal situation.

Am I actually bad to people..? Can I be it?
Am I a bad person now? When did I become one?
Can a bad person become one because of silence,
not knowing what it was wrong before...?

And people still adds friends, people still comments,
people still is on-line, people still talks,
people still wants to do everything to feel they do,
and people believe they know what others do....

I don't know. And that's sad.
Not even dare to go to open chats.
I just wanted to know, or it's my stupid idea.
But they say it's not the moment now.

So when then? They don't even know either.
That my ambiance seems too normal that it's not.
Too sad to know I can't do anything if,
that anything has to be solved with the thing
I'm fearing the most, I marked my destiny.

So I know I'll be left behind, because they
have stronger influences and they know how.
They know how and I don't, people don't get it.
They get strong desire and I can't make it rise.

Left behind with my weak voice,
negating the need of feeling bad things,
as I believe because I can do better in this world
I can forget reality to explain to others.

But as ironic as it seems, I have this fear,
that people can make what I post for real.
Negating reality, sure ironic contrasting ideas.
And people still seems to be happy...!

I seem to be happy, I believed that a lot,
maybe I don't care about what I lose in crying,
though I shouldn't be doing that more than once,
not at least once per week, I should be strong.

They don't tell me to be strong, but they show it,
and even if I dislike to show what I'm going through,
and even if I dislike crying in front of others,
and even if it's difficult to tell what I feel,
and even if others would later comfort it with words,
they're still standing up on life...

Seeing them stand for life,
makes me notice I should too....

The video-games stole my son!

Original Title: "The video-games stole my son!: Opinion on how people see video games"

    Hello again, If my position can get more what I can do on my own position, I might do more than tree posts a day, but I'll need a lot of effort and creative motion.

    So, I'll begin. Recently I was seeing the TV, in my ways of not getting bored, when I wait for my parents for dinner, in fact they were the ones who put the TV. The channel we're seeing transmitted a show, every day show. They were talking about video games. Curious how they were talking about a topic on a TV, and on a general channel show.... Anyway, the show presented a mother and his son. The son with a lost look, the mother, rather young. First it was the mother talking about his son, about him playing video games all the time, unnoticed by the ambiance and his future responsibility of having attention on what is to come (aka parenting...?). But then they bring the son with the mother, and the 'show' gets into action.

    I just realized from start the weirdness of this show, just because of the bragging of the guy and a repetitive call to the presenter. Really weird... They continue by saying, this guy is a 'developer', what he said being a 'system programmer', something I don't seem to be the main reason, despite its name anyway.... Still the situation presented there seems way worse than most of the things and, even the seriousness of it, it was not for an intelligent mind.

    A guy that seems to be a programmer, a game programmer? a design programmer? They don't tell well, only that it has great school scores, just that his addiction of video games changed him. Maybe his background has something to do. Still, its seemingly obvious acting didn't convince me....

    They say, playing a lot it's too much. They say, you should do something better in your life to get going. They say, it will affect you somehow. They say, there are better priorities to do. All in a way looks like valid points, but still, something was bugging me when I was seeing the show....

    Because, we know we have to be careful when playing video games. That's true. But then showing the wrong wrong side of the video gaming world seems kind of incoherent, specially from the ones who don't actually knows how to play a video game! Still it's kind of a weird situation.

    As a software developer, and looking at this similar me on the person of this guy, I can't relate the difference and of course I can't sympathize the despiting idea that they do showing to the people don't know about video games, and it doesn't seem to change, because that's what this show is about. They're likely to show bad things over good things about some thing that, having not the proper precautions, it may cause  repercussions.

    What I really didn't like, was the fact of showing the 'Throwing ball to get a monster' thing they were referring to an incident that it just happened in the anime!

Now, for the variation of the same post, I have found this video:

[Thanks for making this video, at least people'll know what show I'm referring to :P]

I have seen it and most of the things I said here, he said it.
    Only the thing of the political thing or the 'manipulation thing', and the 'same-level' of commentary thing, or the full take of the same negative things said, despite the positive-neutral thing, or the general thing despite it's acknowledgeable the kind of show, although it's obvious the kind of info that only have a very strong impact on ignorant people.

    But still, the common thing is that, they HAD a lot of time, and it could be better to explain BETTER, but of course, they wanted to place commercials, and what it's very weird, is having the attention of a topic to place advertisements and ending up with a question on what happened to the boy.

    In one loong 10 minute break of commercials, I went to some corner of the street to buy 7 tacos [those who know how fast and small tacos are, it's not that much :3 ], and returned, and it was 1 minute away from the next section.

    For those who ask, I know I shouldn't be making attention to it, but as the guy of the video said, that show is seen by more people we on the User Realm we can imagine, so that something to worry; and because I love video games, another point of view is good.

Cold and Windy Days

    The weather has changed, and surely like last year, it came quite strong. This week, strong and cold winds arrived nearby. It wasn't as cold outside, but those magnificent chilly blow of nature made colder everywhere. Even my hands were shaking.
    I was reminded about how many days we have left before this year ends. We're on December, so we're closer than in other months. This is the time where we usually think what are of us, where we are now, what things we have achieved, and where we are going to go next. Maybe those ideas come in an inappropriate moment, where we can't think of a better action to do.
    You see, it's cold, you want to not want to go out of your bed, trying to get cozy with some chocolate or coffee, and sometimes your body can't do anything more than staying here, perhaps near a heater or near the fire of the chimney. And our mind may get a little sleepy, as we try not to, because we would lose our motivation to continue seeing anime or try to end a level, or finish 100 more lines of code, or doing all of the above. Pushing ourselves on those conditions is hard....
    As we approach winter, we see people that likes to complain about the cold, or like it for some reasons. But we always want to complain about how extreme our weather is, so it's in our nature to get information on how we can adapt to those changes. On here the weather has been changing from cold to hot, to windy days to dry air, even you can't expect to wear a sweater or not. I can't tell until I feel outside how is the weather.
People talk about weather, and then they talk about their topics in life. The problem with myself is that I can't usually find a proper comment to add to the conversation, so when I say something, it usually ends up in a random comment.
    But then, cold windy days might get a little bit warmer on the next week, sure those changes on the weather are weird....

    And I don't know what else to say, I'll guess I'll do more stories, seeing I'm just days ahead of New Year's Day, kinda worried and sad because I couldn't get to post more, but I guess I had fun :B

Standing my position...

    I was searching something to write, then inspiration came some time ago when Internet reminds you of how weird your life was before, and how some people has better stats on different areas you wanted to be better. Curiously enough, I had the idea from days ago, only that I couldn't remember today. Glad I had, because I can express my feelings, ooh those feelings. Just to add today was kinda stressful, but this is other thing to do.
    People do things, people has activities they do on their free time. I just write and I’m on constant learning, fixing word errors. And I’m comfortably sit on the sofa drinking a nice coffee without caffeine while having a nice snack, getting up for occasional necessary trips around the house. Also I’m looking at my notebook and my computer with lots of open files, and then visiting lots of pages, then listening to music and still continue writing, thinking about those times when I visit someone else’s page and see, how wonderful his life is right now....
    All of those are for lots of pages I had visited, and they are about what they publish and comment, how can make with their posts a nice interaction with other users, typing and blogging lots of things. I can’t understand how they can live in those worlds, and then look fine or look terrified about it, whatever their emotion they had right now. But then I just see their experiences and how much they have developed their position of their User-type. That’s impressing. Even though I knew Internet for a nice time, I just can’t stop admiring those who started before me, and saw all possibilities to be themselves or to be someone better that eventually they will become themselves.
    In my life, I was searching for lots of things to happen, and in so many times, all those things didn't happen, no matter how I struggled to make it happen. So when I look someone doing the things I wished it could happen to me, I get somewhat sad. Plain sad. I might get depressed, or envious, maybe a bit dreamy, imaging myself really in that specific place. I might have been a little bit happier.
    But then there is this part that I don’t realize what I’m saying. That part of me that can’t grasp the reality on the society I live: the dazing streets at night, the various clothing and their themed shirts, all what they carry on their backpacks, including trading cards, game consoles, some snack or notebook, or their favorite plushie. Their constant learning on memorizing their favorite scenes to be repeated with their friends and beyond over and over again, the stories that they tell, and the stories of the stories they tell about events, like a chain of events starting since childhood, all their music influence and the eventual definition of points of view, and of course their lack of fear of telling all the above....
    That makes me think, if I don’t have one of those they mostly talk about, or they could all easily agree, will I never be part of that something I used to talk the Nerd-Type, those otaku-geek-gamer people they talk about all those manga-anime things? But then there are the programmer-developer-designer ones who talk about lots of what they do or what they see, and even more there is me who sees a lots of those people and feel that in neither can fit in.... And then, a concept upraises upon after all those experiences: I just feel I can’t fit properly in any of those groups, or I feel that whatever thing I say it might not be on the group, they could disband me from their group of friends.... In other words, a misfit, the one who can’t think on one thing without thinking of another, the one who searches for the proper definition of the things without altering the order of life. The one that  fears what he can say, the one who can’t show all of what he likes because another person can do it better, or because other person doesn't like it; the one who can’t stand upon himself and tell people they have a wrong concept of himself, the one no one else considers, the one who wanted a specific thing and didn't realize the value he was giving to them.
    Just because I don’t talk a lot, I don’t do a lot like them, I don’t express like them, or can’t show any feeling like them, doesn't mean that I DON’T LIKE being with them. I was just there, but nothing else.... I don’t know why they didn't tell me I was just losing time.... But then they were nice to me, then, their Pokemon, Dragon Ball or yu-gi-oh things they were talking, their gaming they only wanted to hear or their expertise on those games, all of those lead me to step back to them and feel small compared to them. But then, they didn't know how I was feeling at that time, I’m still able to confide my emotions from everyone else....
    My lack of experience is my most fear, or I fear I feel someone has more experience than I am…. And those that are around me tell me that I don’t worry, but they don’t know they induced me to that liking and that I should do something special about it. That’s the main thing I can have FRIENDS I can rely on. But then the chain was broken way before I met them, so.... I don’t know if they can really understand what I’m posting right know, if they really care about it. Then feel the pity to me and telling me to stay strong, and starting a chain of apologies, but that’s not the chain I want.
    Because other people don’t consider what I do, or what I can do to match the position they are, doesn’t mean I won’t stand behind on expressing myself who I am and the position and in which I am right now. I have base, I only have to express more openly to everyone else. I won’t care if else can’t understand that. Because I can base on myself, and on the ones we’re still on this.
    I just need a little sleep and a little bit of hey everybody, I’m still here. In other words, promotion. That’s why I thank every little bit of consideration towards me, because with that I can assure I can be still on this and then, I can show you amazing things. Have hope and support in me and you’ll see.
    So for this matter, and in the position of this username,  I’m still here, and I count on you.

"Because for myself I must stand the position for what I like and for what I do, share it with you"

Two Years Ago

"...,I was still afraid.
Afraid of what?
Afraid of remember bad moments on the past."

    Even though my past is still childish and lacking of experience, it's kind of frightening to think I was still afraid of the things I once said I will overcome it. But still today I feel those sensations of fear. I can deal with it better, although a proper response of the past situation didn't get fully done. A missing part of some sort of events that turned me into the person I am now.
    "Darn emotions that get hooked on the reason to tell us they have a meaning to be here with us." Because if nothing had happened, no emotion would come out, nor a feeling or memory can make us show a emotion. But that 'nothing' I refer means those events were shocking enough to have some emotion when the event is remembered. Then, when that emotion appears, I feel all dizzy; insecure I can handle all the feeling. Therefore, I try not to remember it, not to face it; not even trying to do those things related that can make me feel. Then, I am afraid....
    Then what does this mean to have those unnecessary sensations...? I mean I can still handle it if my reason is strong enough to overcome it, but the sensations won't go away until something can make it go away, or maybe time. A good laugh I suppose, it's like a pressure in the chest, something in need to be liberated from oppression. They say a good laugh to help release the pressure of ourselves.
    Was I afraid to express of who I am now? Do I still get that fear from people? I have that sensation, as if I feared people in a way I can’t even talk with them. Lack of confidence I think, but then, but then..., I can’t understand why I can feel the sensation of not doing the expected things. I wonder why my body acts like that....
    If it was really a physical issue all the time, then, I should treat it like one, shouldn't I?
    But, in order to really think there is a physical issue, I should expose myself to the most daring things in real life for me, and also online. So I can really know if there’s a clear problem about it. I want to find it out.

Still someone who can't fit into any category existing in this world, because of his seemingly lack of confidence, or his variety of likes that seems to be a notorious point of doubt....

A misfit, am I really of that kind? I'm supposed to be of the Nerd-Type, but others can be way above me, so I'm still low to reach it. But this is one of the things I'm going to post later.

Random Post of the Month

    Why did I want to give my all to show my position to others, to be known by others, to be interested by others?

    Why I feel everything else is just waste of time and I shouldn't do things like I'm doing right now, just to impress others? What's my motivation on doing things for myself? If I ever get something in return for what I'm doing, and if someone would recognize something because of it? There should be that one who no matter what other say, he would appreciate all the things you do. Feeling inside like I haven't got into rough paths and experienced the harsh things everyone else had experienced before. The only thing I've done was evade all of this, instead of facing them. All their tries gave them experience; all the difficult moments gave them knowledge.

    I know I can only stay here under the blankets, not accepting what's outside, but still I'm trying, in my own way, and maybe I'm doing the long way, but somehow I learn more each time I do something risky, but then it's only to know if I still can face again the difficulties in life. I only want support when I feel like failing on something.

    At school, failing's not an option; therefore my positions may have led to something in which mistakes are severely reminded. I can only say that I feel in a better position each time I take control of myself. Hope people can understand my own ways to do things.

    But still then, when I make serious mistakes, why I feel like I can't handle all the emotion emerging from myself? Why I have to face it? Even if my most tremendous fears would come and frighten me to unconscious levels, submerging my body into a dizzy situation that could black me out of my senses, and act desperately? Of course it's just a moment, of course I really dislike it! Of course I would be filled up of strong emotion, unable to think (I dislike that too!), unable to get out one solution, unable to see it clearly, and feeling like my voice expression gets worse to tell what I feel....

    It's just incredible to think the bunch of emotions I have felt, the emotions I got recently and the bunch of emotions to feel in the future. I mean, there are a lot of things I haven't felt, because of my fear of getting too involved into a situation, and getting into great trouble. I can't even notice where are the things I'm doing wrong, I just feel like it, and only feel it is bad,, because nothing can get clear.

    I just have to assume that the things people say are really the things they think, even if something else I might think about it. That thing about trust and believe in words is difficult to put, maybe because of the weird swirl of ideas surrounding the idea of the people who said it. Then, it will be times where I can’t be her maintaining the position of the User, attending reality issues. Then, it will be times where others would do that too. Even if we’re here, it’s only the position on this digital world, maintaining our data in form of bytes, strengthening up our Position of User by the things we do and publish here.

    Nice thing I have written a lot, even if I thought I didn't do so.

Suddenly you feel like you evolved, but...

     I haven't feel any change, at all. Or it seems like it didn't change a little. In fact..., I have a strong love of my design made for this blog, or maybe because I don't have lots of time to see it. At least I want that a hundred of people could see this blog, look at it and tell me if they like it as it is, or if I really change it.
     So, what did I prepared,, mostly personal issues to be resolved, shyness suppression at its most (I'm still shy though >//<), the eminent return of Richie (man, I need your conversations more often, fresh ideas, aand,a desire for support and promotion >///<, I'm not too emotional for promotion nor I can tell if love or if friendship or if life or if people, but hope I can not focus on you and try to be myself at the same time.
I'll look at every thing or writing I have/had in mind and reproduce it again, hopefully to get more attention to it.
    Also, more drawings and surprising things... so hope we can take a good retribution from all of it :P

Evolution Process - Final Adjustments

I know that I'll would make a evolution process and such, but guess what? I'm almost over.
It's just that, I didn't have time to do it, need some drawings to make, so yeah, it will be a new "A Nerd's Adventure" design, hehe.
Not just it, I've come with new ideas to share, first, a new post series that I called "VideoGames I played as a Boy" [or maybe??], where I'll share all the games I played and didn't have a chance to share it to others, maybe here's a great place to make this. Also, I'm preparing some stories in my mind, I know that part is difficult (or the most difficult) part to develop, so many points and making good linking of events. And also I'll post some more videogames/anime/tech things, maybe programs? maybe programming progress on some projects? Or maybe one someone may be interested to hear :B
I'm giving the effort to maintain this blog as active as I can, I'm not giving up this so easily, or maybe I've been thinking on arrange some posts and place them in another blog, but I haven't think that seriously. I've been into so many things, I may lose some ideas, but I'm willing to keep a steady pace, that's one of the reasons I haven't really make this to happen yet. Let's hope to get this thing going :B

Convention Adventures 005

I should have done this last week.... >///<

    A lot of time passed since I wrote another -Convention Adventures- post. This happened last week. I was testing some new features of realization of Motion and Stability of my Hobbies and other things, proper for new steps.

 I need some inspiration, so a final fantasy music soundtrack would help me do that hehe.

   There it was, a long way behind to reach our destiny (I’m telling a story hehe) and a bunch of people coming to the same direction. I have to keep my cool to myself and continue my way to the Convention Center hehe.

   This time I got a different concept with those conventions, one that gets more common in our region. So, maybe, I could get a little bit biased about it. I could say it’s the same thing as other conventions. Anime cosplay, drawing, videogames, trading cards, and the usual vending things, food shop and a stand on videogame things. Last time I guess I went alone, I didn’t know why, but it was awesome I guess. Now with new minds to remember, how conventions were.



Sometimes, with the friends I was when on conventions, it has that wonderful thing to feel not anxious/embarrassed to be there. But at this time it has to be different. We saw some adventure time stuff and some other ponies stuff and a little bit of homestuck cosplay (a little mean, one or two people). Anyway, what I don't know is how things can happen to not being shy on those kind of things. Maybe because of all material things around that I may not have, or maybe because I can't be as childish as possible to act excited about a videogame or something. But I do it sometimes, but in my way, not to expressive but still noticeable.

   Money has been one of my problems, and now I can see I can do more than just buy something. At least I didn't feel extremely anxious, or maybe I'm expecting something awesome to see. But still it was a test, to see if I can handle it, if I'm still on the way of liking things, despite not all people see the anime/cartoon I see.

   At first, I was not expecting something from it, especially when feeling the nostalgic air of anime at earlier times. Then that position of nostalgia turn the present people into a conversation that has laughs and beautiful moments to remember. I don't know why I can't compel with that very well, maybe again is my lack of expression, but I think people don't care a lot about it. Just enjoy and be happy (like I always say :P ).

   I just hope my linguistic conversation talking with others doesn't be dull and not understandable, that my voice can sound  better to others, and that I can connect different ideas with great view.

   I have a Jake hat-type, I don't know what it's called like, but I like it anyways :3

Fighting Anxiety - of Actions and Time

(This is an Introduction...? of, maybe a series of "Fighting Anxiety"?, I don't know and I'm sorry if I'm not having any specific Idea on this post, hope it's still on the same topic.)

    Trying to make a specific statement of a problem is difficult, even more if I feel insecurity in me. Maybe I shouldn't make it a worrying problem, but maybe I should care about it. Those kinds of insecurity are making me feel anxious... oh.

    Maybe because I don't fit in all points that state the symptoms of someone who is suffering from anxiety or social problems, maybe because I'm mostly hearing the same from my family, even if they may get it or know it, but they were NOT fully aware of my problem. I didn't want that to have it, neither do other people with the same problem.

    But still I have to face it every day; so, "Fighting Anxiety": when it happens unexpectedly, how I try to evade it, how I try to deal with it.

Of Actions and Time

    I have written some Journal on my deviantart page, about what I've been struggling when I'm dealing with not being alone and around people at the same time.

    "I know, from the little experience I have, that people don't have good mood all the time, and maybe, they may won’t talk to you, or maybe they do, depending on what type of connection you have with the other person. It's kind of difficult to think that way."

    "I can't deny that I like my moments alone, and I think most people do. Well, I know they are people that can talk and use social networks to the maximum level that means they can spend the time talking. Most of the people I know in person don't do this too often. Or that's what I want to believe, they mostly watch anime, play videogames, stay a little time reading, doing chores or spending time with brothers, some others might do a little less of all of that to maintain a user-Position like deviantart or tumblr or another place. And also our personal projects and school stuff to attend, so, we have things to do and this is one of them."

    "We must take place on those things that are important to us and not feel like going more on something than other, just because comfort. It has to have meaning, and a certain time to do it."

    Having a change in Motion has made most of my last thinking cut off in half, and thinking it outside the space I was, it made me like, care a little less than last time, and be comfortable with my own ideas. I know that's not gonna be.

    I know also that depending on my mood, if I get a good sleep, eat well and else, causes of getting less/more anxious. If I sleep well and get my ideas in order, I'll get less anxious.

    Last months I wanted to rush lots of things, but doing it so made me lose time. I still have problems dealing with time, and I can't get a proper range of time in which due dates are to be proposed. I know certain things take less or more time, but trying to deal with lots of things I'm lacking, I may have learned a lot of things, but it cost me struggling things and unwanted emotions, maybe the things I lack experiencing.

    An now I know I can extend that range a little bit and act at a more calmed pace, at least on the things I want to learn, I want to do, I want to finish. And yeah, the evolution process I've been telling about is still on course, only that I need more time. No need to rush things you know. When the time and chance is proper, it will be done n__n

Well another post of today, see you around then.

Hard Reset, Soft Reset

    In the process of making my evolution faster, some actions have to be done. I’m trying to make a simple yet affordable retribution in which time is required. Also, some more grammatically correct sentences, more common phrases and a whole bunch of ideas to develop. And also an increasing in recourse, which it will be helpful to provide me with the right tools to work. I’m just glad I’m making the choices that are most likely to lead me to where I’m going to be.
    Do you remember how to turn off the computer? What’s the proper method to close it?  When talking about electronic devices, especially computers, a large process of verification is made when you turn it on.  When the computer shuts down, another whole bunch of verification is made before electricity goes down around the circuits of the device.
    If some problem arises and you can’t shut down your computer, you can simply cut of the electricity and it will turn off by itself. But the problem with that is the computer can’t save random data and other features to save before the operative system shutdown. It’s still a possible case, but the computer will ask you to see what happened and if the computer can solve it if really it happened something bad.
    Well, putting aside the last thing I said, the process of data gathering and data responsibility is a lot.  Most of the people can’t understand their data will be stored there permanently, until proper review is done. Most user deletions on sites sometimes get all its content deleted, but not on everything, the only way to know if  user content will be deleted after all user deletion are, well there are two ways. One is by reading the site policy, and second by seeing the behavior of users who have been already deleted their accounts. The second one is more noticeable as you can see if their posts are still there while when he disappears from the user position of the site.
    Referring as if we have to make a review of content or not, well, that’s the reason for hard reset or soft reset: if you do it the hard mode, you’ll expect to not having control of what you have posted and it’s up to the site to determine if delete it or not. If you do it soft mode, you’ll have to check if everything is in order, and if there is something to take from before it’s too late. Maybe you want to get proper data because you don’t have it in your computer and you’ll need to go to that page to view it. Hopefully most of the sites a user sites have a nice mode to review all of what you have posted, and lots of methods to manage and delete data. The way they gave a user the property of managing its own data easily is the way they give the power to manage the things he can post and control. It’s giving it control of the data to the user, and the user should be able to control most of it. It’s all of what he’s posting and it’s a great responsibility, even if they don’t see it like it.
    Hard mode reset is useful only if you know what you’re doing. Soft mode reset is useful only if you want to get important data, and if you know things are going to be resolved elsewhere, and if they could leave a trace to that and you prefer evade it.
    Somehow evolution is still near, I don’t know why I’m delaying it....

Awkward Moment – Failure at Conversation

This is a blog post for an event story.

     I’m having issues, strong issues, about how to handle the reacts of people when I say something I want for myself. There’s something I have to deal with, but that something comes rarely in my life. I feel like needing to have more chances of talking with new people, so I can deal with the ones I can’t feel comfortable with them.

     You know, when meeting people, I feel like not being interested, and maybe I have this issue of not showing interest on people at all. It is because I don’t know who I am going to talk the most of the time. I’m not of the normal people who go to parties and related things; I have certain interests like playing videogames and computers and programming. I feel like not needing to talk about something else.

     Yesterday was weird because of a certain moment I had to deal when being in a closed space with another person. Imagine you in a car with some other people you don’t know. What would you do? I felt very shy at that moment. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t have any interesting thing to say to him because I could know in his face what I do isn’t interesting to him. But I feel that at those moments there, I felt weird being quiet, where I was supposed to talk something useful.

     Today was getting a little bit worse, how can I suppose to talk about my needs when I can’t feel the trust on the people I need to talk to? Imagine this time you cannot move, you feel stuck in a wave of ideas, most of it nonsense. You don’t want to face something you don’t want. And people seem to not understand your ramblings about evading actions because you need to attend other activities and you feel awful and confused.

I should finish this post somehow so I leave it here for now.

Or maybe continuing it in another post.

Something Lefty

Just a contribution post acknowledging one day were Left-handed people are celebrated. I wonder how they really came to celebrate that.
I knew I could write with my left hand, while my brothers and parents with the right hand. I didn't remember a time when they would teach me to write with the right hand. I just knew I have this kind of skill, if I could say so.  People indeed got marveled about my condition of left-handed. And telling the truth, I didn't think I could have a problem using scissors or other things supposedly designed for right-handed people. I just got accustomed to use it.
The moment I knew there was indeed a difference on how things are important because of the design for the hands of people, was that episode of the Simpson where they have a shop for left-handed people. When I saw that entire episode I asked myself if there is indeed objects designed for left-handed people, and if a difference is high on using it instead of the normal objects.
I don’t know if feel special about it, is it special? Does really people want to get reminded about a world of minds whose way of think could be upside-down the normal people would think? Who can get the reality of the ones who are left? I wonder if people could meet each other only because they want to see some people writing with their left-hand at great perfection.  My writing isn’t as good as everyone would think, I can’t properly get the pencil well, and when I write I usually get dirt on the side of the hand, where I place it to rest, I know it isn’t the right way.... If people consider left-handed people as special, if someone could see me write with the left hand, I could be lucky of having a new friend, because they would consider me special....
Well, in this whole point of the left-handed awareness is the same as everyone else’s awareness,  so that they know we exist and that we have a day and that they may do other things normal people won’t do, or that normal people do it better, and because of attention. I know.
I get good results on writing, and drawing with my left-hand, so I still need more practice hehe :3

Random Post of the Month

Misunderstanding of People
This is a little bit of a strange situation that is being controlled by the Objective Motion of the Attributive Values of this blog, the one who makes those posts, the Attribution of Erick Medina and all what he lives, in a effort to show you how things are going on. I don’t know why this introduction.
Before I lose it....

Starting August, and Digimon

    I didn't thought this day would be amazing and very special for me. First because I get another year done on Deviantart.com, but I started activities at early 2012 >///<

    But then this day is special too. It's supposed that Digimon Adventure started this day, when 8 kids from a certain area in Japan had the experience of their lives.  The first 7 went on a weekend camping, noticing a mysterious force that took them to the digital world. Then, meeting those creatures who befriend then and  lived numerous adventures.

    I don't know if I can make a proper post about it, but I'll give it a try.

    Why I love digimon? There's a story behind it. I don't know how much of you  know Fox 6 Saturday Mornings, it was at that time Pokemon and Digimon appeared, maybe at different times, but it has the kinda same animation poses that a kid would love. Of course it was anime.

    Digimon, or Digital Monsters, of course it has a ending similitude in their words with Pokemon, different creatures hehe. The story tale is that it exist a world called the Digital World, some kind of wide area that reside on Internet servers around the world. Strange things happen on the Earth and it's up to a group of children to save it from facing disastrous events.

    The main focus of my blog post is my experience on seeing those chapters, specially the first season called Digimon Adventure. When I first saw it, it was kinda nice, because it has that special feature that is battling and being stronger. In that case, the Digimon has some phases of evolution in which they obtain more power to overcome the enemy. I saw the English ver. first and I could only understand little words in English so I didn’t put attention to the story fully.

    Then I made a second official run of Digimon recently, years ago, this time Japanese ver. All that deep meaning and strong emotions made every episode has a little bit of emotional me on the go, crying on every emotional scene, especially on later episodes, where they fight for things, they have its issues with their families, and then at the very last episodes with their strong will to stand by themselves and continue the fight.

    I can have the time to watch it again because of the digital thing (I like that), and because it would be nice to revive the emotions again.

    Ok, my little post of today, I hope to make a new thing: Drawing of the Day, I don’t know if put it here, but I can show it later here, or at least were I am going to post it. It will not be digital drawing, only pencil drawing, so I can be fast on that. Later on the month I’ll choose which ones I’ll make it digital.

See you then. :D

Last day of the month and...

...I feel as if I didn't achieve anything....

    Or that’s what I’m feeling right now. Excuse me if I ever try to understand my writing inside my feelings of confusion. I can’t say depression, or frustration, or happiness, not even the neutral one. It’s only confusion and misunderstanding of myself.

    It’s only that, I don’t know, why do I have to explain anything that happens to me!? Or why people can achieve a level of attention higher than mine? My state of feelings right now is misleading me into being uncategorized among all categories of social life. Feeling like I don’t belong, or feeling like I might belong to something but it’s only half, or I only express half or they can only accept me half.

    If I ever try to comprehend myself, I only think lots of things to cover the reality of myself, and the worst thing is that my ambiance and what people expects of me makes the situation worse than it is. People seem to expect less than I can really do, only because I don’t talk a lot. My feelings right now can express the loathing of my shyness and my lack of skills, and all the time lost in space. I was lost in space and nobody cared about it, I was alone with the stars, and people only wished upon our trajectories.

    Music is some limit I’m making so that this post can’t say worst things, I won’t say it but my feelings of the deep may spell it out of it, they won’t reach here, I have based motions, I have to be strong.

    It’s only because of YOU that I’m doing all of this, it seems that shyness is so common, it’s not rare, but maybe because it’s not as much talked as other uncommon things....

    Writing is flushing easily my ideas and it makes me think slowly, if I speed up my thoughts I would reach more deep and negative feelings, and I only make things worse. Only my friends from inside my mind have the ability to stop me....

    Even if I said everything, nothing would change, that’s what my feelings are expressing, but even in my own deviation of center of emotion, I can make a static synchronized function in which it can call an instance of my objective motion, and it would respond, that everything and nothing, direct connotations, are only restricted towards a specific set of information. It could be everything I said about myself, or about my problems (which it’s a lie), or about my effort in life. And nothing can be: nothing of my proposals of life about my fight against shyness, against being left behind in conversation, about not understanding social status of parties and other related(which nevertheless I can “extreme dislike” it...). I only wanted to play video games and I wonder how people COULDN'T understand it. Yeah, yeah my “not rather casual” clothing and my physical appearance weren't enough to convince them. That’s a lie too, this time from them.

    My social feelings can speed up if I can reach certain people’s scores about certain game, in which he may not reach it again, because it may not do it again... The classmate who can do it was beside me, near the list of students, it was awesome how it types, and it was a mechanical type machine.

    My feelings are still there, but fortunately I’m producing something, I’m glad this is happening. I didn't even go to bed to think about it meaninglessly and ending up in crying. But only want to see my happy face so I will be delightful to show them my happy face, because they want it.

    If they only want to see my happy face, I don’t know then what I WANT! I feel, my feelings tell me, that I don’t need anything special, but then social status and my objective instance tells me that you can buy something to make it something nice, something for yourself it would be nice. I don’t understand my ambiance and they expect to act if I were level 343 if I only am of level 145 or so.

    Overwriting some paragraphs, I can only say that I was pushed away and people still get in the way, they always win. When can I win a game? When can I be good at something good? My feelings are asking that? Even so, my objective recalls today when I was praised when something good happened after making good code. I feel like eating, I feel like going to sleep, but I see you want me to show something, or I only want you to put attention, to be insistent on me, to really care about me. I don’t know if THAT’S a lot to ask.

    Why I’m making this? Because I want to use my time on making something different than being on my bed, that’s all, maybe I can practice Japanese, maybe I can chat with new people, maybe I can say who I am, maybe I can continue listen to music. Maybe I might insist on getting your attention again.

    When I was at school as a child, I was that way. Desiring attention at all costs, when I got was rejection and suffering, crying on recess only because I wasn't included in some team. Adults took my desire and place it in a box, dug a hole and hid them there. They say that it was prohibited that amount of desire, of friendship, of social intrusion, on other things. I was always afraid getting a report on recess only because of silly little things that could lower my scoring, and afraid to use those silly words that they used on later grades. People didn't know, and people don’t know up to this day. They say, oh that boy who has higher grades, that is smart and can do lots of things, hope he can get me a job later on.... Expectations, expectations everywhere.

    If I were to choose, I just couldn't do so. Because of my sudden desire of expose that box they hid from me and say all what I didn't like of all of the people they have meet me. They just can’t think about their own faults, so I just have to make them know.

    Some people desire I should be stopping this now, because I just over passed my word limit. I won’t. You who desired that didn't stop when you were talking about the fantasies of a cold country that only think in lifting cups and marvelous buildings.

    Some people desire I just stay home, because I can play with the family. I can’t. My extended family is just far away and it has been YEARS since I can’t visit and met a single one of them. I don’t know who they are, what do they do, or if I can find someone who can share the same interests and having some activities. You who desired that were thinking about your old days when you can do all of that and know that you have other things you can’t just take apart of what you want, not even because of the time spent....

    Some people desire I just go and make friends, because that’s what people do when they change friends, but I can’t simply do that because of my one-chance only of meeting someone without screw the things up. It was difficult meeting you. And doing it again 100 times more is a struggle for me. You who desired that weren't feeling doing that, because he has lots of resources of making the things easier, and if he couldn't, he could search help easily.

    Some people desire I just be myself, that I can do great things that I can make whatever possible thing I want. It’s wonderful to be myself, but I got restricted. You who desired that didn't felt the need of changing their life, making a space for someone more, some people have defined variables, and the ones who can change more, even defying the defined can be maintained. And I just can’t stand hearing something that I can make a comment about it.

    Some people desire that I just get up and start making something, or stop making something. I won’t. You who desired that don’t know, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW, that I’m different from you! Even if I can be inside the Near position, even if I get physical Energy, even with your support, even with your remainders, even with your unnoticed problems, even with your counseling, I’m still being different. If you didn't know that I got restricted from expression, that on the moment my expressions should be very varied and violent, I just could express half of it, and the other half have just increased at some percentage, so I’m over living things. Even if you think that I should be like others, our restricted social life make me more limited on talking to people. What is the meaning of getting good things if I would suffer from thinking wrong things about social life, the key they use to get things better?

    I know that I’m making progress, but they got it faster, that’s some difference. And you still want something from me. I’m just tired of seeing the same and my feelings right now just desire to change everything, but my objective says I just have to think about that big change. When I think about it, I just get myself into surrender.

    Japanese people and its obedience, but they have fun. When will I ever get the support needed from my ideas? I just want you to show it but you don’t appear. I want you to show you. Maybe I’m not too good telling that to you, but I just want your support because that’s what people on social networking do isn't it? Or all of that support is just a single occasional click of people who likes to click?

    My feelings right now don’t know what they want, what to buy or what to see. I don’t know if I have to spend this time explaining all of this, if that’s worth it enough, if I have to change strategy, if do I really want to tell to someone specialized about this. It could have been easier, right? I only want to go, not because of explaining everything or to solve everything, because I want to get my thoughts clearer than if I go to a friend that has enough strength to support me and be with me most of the time.  I know lot of things, only that it’s difficult to apply it. My feelings tells me that I may not stand along if I can’t solve this..., and people only care about economic issues, and care issues, and normal things, not feelings, because their emotions are not mine, and they don’t understand it.

    I remind the time I was afraid of posting anything. I remind the time I was afraid to talk with someone, I remind the time I didn't know that awesome people that are not from my place exists and I could have reached them If I wasn't too shy at that time.

    I just want to say thank you for listen it, and if you don’t care about all I said, I won’t mind. I you do, I appreciate it. If you can’t do anything about it, I understand it. If you know what can I do, you can tell me, I’ll be glad to hear it. If you know what can I improve before I make the evolution of this blog and other sites upon the name of stndnerboy11, I’ll be glad to hear it. It will be highly appreciated your contribution to this.

    I may not be as interesting as they think, but I’m still a person. A person that has a sensible heart.

I'm starting another week, and suddenly...

    I have this desire to write, to express myself, to see how much I can do, how many people I can meet, I can interact, I can talk to. It's going to go a nice and fun way to do it. But somehow I can't find the fun about it, yet. Maybe because I'm concentrated on trying the best in this post.

    Last night's post, even if very late, was well made. I made a review of certain things, and also reviewed some notifications, and cleaned my room, I'm making some progress in a few hours. Well in fact, a few hours are needed for making fast activities that it can do on daylight.

    I don't know if last post I said I was kinda sad, oh I remember it was on tumblr. I'm kinda sad, because of so many changing events that I can't get out of my head. I know that feel of getting in a weird world, I wonder how when I was younger can handle better all of this.... What it bothers me is, all my effort made to increase my experience was reverted a little bit, because of my easily-offended mind. I wasn't prepared for receiving opposing ideas from unknown people. Saying that they don't think as you sounds a little threatening, but sometimes, it's kind of weird to see, to know now, that it isn't the way I should see the comments of real people. People react differently on opposing ideas, depending on how well they know each other, or how strong the idea is. The fact is that people who can't see the situation really won't say a lot from it, and those who really do get its waves shaken.

    It hurts to be against the wall so many times, that wall that prevents me from falling, but all those high-frequency waves that adds up with my normal frequency, makes the wall tremble sometimes. The wall has enough strength to handle all that undesired frequency, but still the impact is done, and of course I receive all that frequency without any guard. It feels like lightning....

    I get happiness easily, I get sadness easily, I get other emotions easily. Even my always-protected emotion of affection and love. If some person would discover it at its fullest, it would be a great resource. It seems to be my best guarded resource.

    I'm denying I'm different from others, that I need to express myself differently from what I'm doing. I get a lot of struggles not expressing the way I am, and what I want is to express in an humble way. I'm always saying that and I'm always changing my mind in doing various things, sometimes daring things that challenges me a lot.

   I'll review what things I want to write more, and try to solve all problems.

On days you can’t sleep.

But you should anyway.

    Those are the times my mind wanders a lot on my own ideas. I know I will regret listening to my mind, but I hope I can get some sleep if I let my mind in blank, and that is trying to write something.

    I had my sad days, and my anxious days, but also I had nice and awesome days. Some people could say I could be a person that can change emotion easily, and for some reason, they are right. I change emotion easily, and also on small changes that were unexpected, those who surprise me and let me off the guard. My zone of comfort is quite limited, but it’s getting bigger, but on bigger areas, bigger responsibilities, bigger expectations.

    When someone is expected to change new things comes, but people will react on those changes, even if you are still learning it. You can say you are a beginner, that you don’t know what to expect, but people will still react on certain action. It’s like the starter driver who practices on the road, with more experienced ones. Even if the  flashing back lights says you are learning, other drivers won’t reduce their driving speed or they will give opportunity to them as if they were special.

    I remember one time I was with some classmates and out of my mind I said something. The other person answered in a way, I got surprised. The words were “How can you say that coming from you?”, or “My, my, look who is saying that!”, or something related. By that time somehow I thought that comment was quite offending, but I could say I wasn't prepared for that answer. That’s one of the realizations that even if I can increase my expression, they will be others who willingly answer to that expression.

    That’s why I haven’t done it on the first place, because of that feeling of not agreeing with me, or that slightly feeling of rejection or that people can’t agree with you on some things you feel that’s very important. But since I’m getting this blog to be on the go, and since a lot of events, I’m learning to comprehend more the people and its behaviors, and knowing what I can do and what not, I can only send and receive data from them, trying the best to understand what they really want to express. That’s the difficult thing of social communication. I don’t know if experts can explain what I just said.

Attention, that’s one of the things I want. 
Affection, another thing I want.
Rejection, a thing I don’t want.
Loneliness, another thing I don’t want.

    Maybe people like me are so egoist with us; we only want the things for ourselves and care less about others. When two get together, it’s a battle on which can expose its own ego to the other.

    I was too shy to expose expression at that time, so the only way to achieve something was to get into someone’s synchronization and follow certain patterns, trying to learn something new. I am always reminded that eventually it will be the turn of me to make the contribution of the bond. I contribute a little, and they get disappointed.

    Nobody knows exactly what would happen on others’ mind, and if the things they express are the ones that completely resemble that mind, we are making the best that happens.

    It’s not that I want to get excluded from everyone, it’s just that the Near Ambiance has been on a Position of concentration on our own endurance, limiting lots of things including social outings and extension of friendships with going outs. I would like all of this can be known by at least more than 10 people, but I can expect less if my own expectation cannot overcome others’ expectations about this.

Erick: “But I’m still standing...”
Richie: “And then you have me.”
Erick: “Oh, you, I don’t know how you can handle all of this.”
Richie: “Do I have to explain why I can do that?”
Erick: “No, I know, you are me somehow.”
Richie: “Hehe, so, this time’s roleplay: how people can make your emotions tremble”
Erick: “My question is: how can people handle this”
Richie: “It’s quite simple, they just forget about it.”
Erick: “Hehehe, and I can’t forget most of the things.”
Richie: “You are always thinking and I understand, but you know you can regulate your knowledge level”
Erick: “I know I can, because it requires some energy and lots of determination”
Richie: “But remember that people needs to be told about things at their own level of understanding, equaling the level is the most proper one.”
Erick: “I feel like needing to understand things that may not be of higher level but I can’t understand is the weird thing”
Richie: “I may get why....”
Erick: “Because I’m thinking my own thoughts are of higher level”
Richie: “Oh....”
Erick: “I’m not thinking on simple things, and conversation are about random simple things. That’s why most people can do it.”
Richie: “You may be right...,”
Erick: “All those years trying to express myself and always talking on higher levels than all those children on Elementary School....”
Richie: “But still you had your own bright days”
Erick: “I know that was when I thought everything will be the same....”
Richie: “I don’t know the point of all this...!”
Erick: “Discovering myself again searching childhood, like I always do. Finding out I’m a lost undiscovered genius-type that is getting its power lost..., or I was just a Japanese-type in which discipline was my motto and also in my house, and that it’s getting also less powerful....”
Richie: “I could agree with the second....”
Erick: “But they should have found my case interesting anyway...”

(Sleep is coming so, see you later then.)

Random Post of the Month

 Hope you liked the last post. I’m trying to make a post while watching a Nostalgia Critic video. I’m just a classic one viewing videos from 2008. I’m getting distracted because I’m expecting the funny moments to appear. Also I’m practicing again my arrangement of ideas. I know certain sentences get wrong on context, so it would be awesome if you can see something that can seem out of logic, you can tell me or send me a message (my username: stndnerdboy11, my email: gmail.com [hope this is a logical notion]).
    Why I’m watching this? I don’t know. Why do you usually watch it? Maybe because you are depressed enough you say  “That’s enough of all of that [the bad things]” and you know you need to get distracted from it, so all the feelings go away. And that’s when you watch something [a video]. I don’t know if I have to sleep, or if I have to watch a video. If I have to write, of if I have to make something else. Somehow it’s working. I know I have to sleep earlier but let’s see how it goes while I’m trying to reconsider, and while trying to find an answer. I’m seeing a Star Wars Christmas Special…!?  Oh my god!! D:
    I can’t understand it at all!! D:  I can’t concentrate at all! And then Nostalgia Critic’s faces.... hehehe. I’m getting fun. But I can’t understand it! Why I don’t understand? (But I can get fun about it). I can’t concentrate D:
    Ok. I stopped the video for a little bit of concentration. I’m getting entertained but because I feel to write another random thing, I can’t help to say I’m fine. And yeah. This random post made me the great idea of writing a post about Star Wars, and it’s kinda different connotations. I will talk about the 6-movie saga more than the other franchise. So it would be easier to talk about (because I saw them hehe)
    Now I’m watching again this, maybe I’m getting anxious in a funny way. (How can that possible happen?) Maybe that wasn’t the video I expected. But still funny.... but still.... I don’t understand some of those video’s endings. They are just as exaggerate as the movies they show, but I guess that’s the point of the show....

A Majora's Mask Post

[This is a post that it has SPOILERS!!
On The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask]
if you haven't played it, go and play it, :D
if you want to read it anyway, you are welcome to do it.


   Hello, another post to make and this time, I'm well prepared to write it without any weird confusing lack of coherence, well that's what I think. If I ever review other of my posts I could change structure, but that's what practice and good support are needed. Well, on to the topic.

    Let's talk about another Zelda game *yaay*, well OK, recently I have been hearing about more about this specific game: Majora's Mask, and I can't deny that I would want to play it too. Along Orarina of Time, Majora's Mask is one good game to play, because of its unique kind of story and the similar gameplay and graphics than the previous and most popular one.

    Nintendo 64 is the console of this game, translating the dynamic and story from the NES  and SNES game into a tridimensional game to explore. This time it's not Hyrule but another world called Termina. Kinda interesting name for a land. The objective, as the description says, is to beat the game before the moon falls on three days.... I could tell that at first I thought that beating the game on 3 days would be difficult, or maybe not. But they refer to the game-lapse of time that make the challenge more interesting. That's why an special item was key for controlling time and that's the Ocarina of Time (quite clever to have it hehe). With that item, you can return to the first day as many times we want, or slow time or skip time at another time.

    The gameplay is the same as the last game and you have temples, sub-quests, and lots of items. The interesting thing is using the masks because they make you get more items and pieces of heart. Specially three masks are important, the Deku, Goron and Zora masks. They will transform you into the bodies of those races and obtaining different abilities. With those abilities you can beat each temple and its enemies and bosses, and wake up the 4 giants.

    One interesting part is when you get game overs on the game, you just restart from the last point, like for example the last temple entered. But then after the 3 days passed a special scene occurs, it could be game over but a very unusual one...

    I could talk a little about the story. Link, in search for a friend, got the ocarina and Epona stolen by Evil Skull Kid, and after chasing him fell on a different world and transformed as a Deku. With the help of Tatl the Fairy, he went to Termina. With the help of the Mask Man he learned about that Skull Kid. Learning about its people, that resemble a lot from Hyrule people. Three days passed and somehow he found the Skull Kid and went to confront him. He got the Ocarina back and returned time. Then with the help of Tatl the fairy they will wake the 4 giants to prevent the power of the Majora's Mask. On each people's story, it express the concern and fear of the people that are preparing to face the end....

    Now that I have told that, I can say a lot more things. More on detail. I want to remember the first time I played that game and the entire struggle I had to pass in order to beat the game. As always I avoid getting beat by monsters, but not too much than on other games, but still I was careful enough. Wandering around Termina field and see how you can be mostly everywhere. In a programmatic way, 3D worlds are amazing and you can see and explore everything. Only that here of course you have time upon you so, if you want to explore to see its beauty, you have a limited time. Of course the timing system is quite similar to Ocarina of Time only that on Majora's Mask, time is measured in a way, every people act on specific hours. That's a lot of detail!

    I think the moment that was more time consuming is when trying to find all the Skulltula on 2 different places to obtain better equipment. Also the neat thing to do is obtaining all masks and most of them you obtain it by helping people! You have to go at certain times to meet the expectations of the people you want to help and a nice mark on a notebook was being placed. The Bomber's Notebook is good to remember the time you have to be at certain places. So it's like a very good side quests to do.

    Time is a weird thing to manipulate, you need to use it wisely, especially on times you want the time to be slow, or normal, or when you want to go to a specific time. They are lots of ways to it. Only you have to be careful if you want to go further the time limit :P... (But really they don't let you do that)

    Recently I have been playing a second run; I'm receiving a lot of comments about the Zelda Universe and specially things about this game. And from this time I can comprehend a lot more things about it. A story that started and ended with lots of friendship events. Well that's what I think...

 Deep Meanings and Spoilers Ahead!!

At start, you see that boy who likes to do mischievous things and ending you fall into his world, and you see how this Kid transforms you into somebody weaker and then running away. We could assume Skull Kid as the bad guy of the story. The fairies accompanying him are always there. And you see one of them, Tatl, accompanies you to search his brother and the Skull Kid. At the encounter with him, you see the dialog of the fairy brothers and even after Link can get out of Clock Town, the scenes let you know somehow the background of the story of the Skull Kid. As remarked by the Mask Man, the Majora's Mask has great evil over the minds of people, those of strong desires and ambitions. The people around tell the malicious things the Skull Kid has done. Also, there is another story told about how the Skull Kid was friends with the giants, and also why he has done all of those evil things. At the end you'll see how the Majora's Mask is acting at its own, when the giants stopped the moon. And after the final battle, the giants return to its restored places, but they said something meaningful to the Skull Kid, now without the mask.
I have cleared this game at least once, but the last time I saw the ending was quite emotional, maybe because all of the friendship thing they have and all the meaning they put before the final battle. Thinking if we really are the ones we show to others, if people can really see who is the one living behind the mask, intuitively how and when can we meet the real him, or even more who are our real friends. Other notorious thing is what would happen if you can't meet the friends you usually see anymore, because they have different trajectories to travel. What things do the one who leaves needs to do? What things do the one who stays needs to do? What things it has to be done so that both can continue life without any problem? And, if we can build enough strength to accept the events to come? Rejection from others, dependence on certain friends, fear of being alone, re-encounter and acceptance of the future to come, and of course new friends to meet. If this game threw me a punch in the face emotionally is because all the above is true. As for me accept that has been kinda painful but I don't have a Mask to blow away everyone, but maybe I may have one (or have been had one) that limited my expression. As for the Skull Kid, it was fortunate that a fairy-looking boy came (or was forced to come) to "help him throw away" that powered Mask in which he was imprisoned. Someone who can really show what it is really having friends and help looking for others in a very kind way (helpful for him), or at least accept the friends he has (the fairies). Either way, a lesson is learned, and a dimensional world is saved. And the people were happy because a fairy boy helped with all his problems. All in three days.
[What I can do in three days...? Only with the ocarina of time...?]

  , and they say weird stories and off-game theories that are implicit in the game. Like creepy stories of Ben, or like the dark and gloomy meanings in-game and theories about the Termina-Hyrule comparisons, how this dimensional world could exist or not exist and some thoughts comparing with Link's Awakening.... I saw Majora's Mask once in a let's Play, then Link's Awakening. I don't know if we can propose a deep meaning on a weird-type concept of LoZ games like the last mentioned, talking about friendships and departures and the concept of not wanting of growing up, avoiding facing nightmares, but the fact is they are games and they have something special in us when we played it. Now that some remake is on the way it could be awesome to see all those moments with better graphics and awesome animations.

    So, that's about it for a post, hoped you enjoyed some of what I thought while playing this game...

Erick: "And as a P.S. I was told the cake is a LIE! TwT"
Richie: "You were the one you didn't notice it wasn't true"
Erick: "But the remake trailer was awesome and quite believable"
Richie: "But it didn't happen. Just wait until they have better news"
Erick: "OK and by the way sorry I haven't invited you for some time"
Richie: "I see you were occupied on other things >_> "
Erick: "I'm a guy that needs its time to relax and reevaluate my values of space and time; its purpose was to make better things without supportive motion and maneuvers to counter it."
Richie: "It's kinda complex what you're saying, better comprehend what you can do about it."
Erick: "I'm trying to see it clearer than last occasions; it seems to be working by now."
Richie: "But you want to return to the previous...?"
Erick: "Not return to it, well, kinda return but with a gateway to go again easier to the world of social interactions and such things related."
Richie: "So you might want to play more here hehe"
Erick: "I want to play more videogames and drawing new things other see, so we can talk about it later on"
Richie: "A nice idea..."
Erick: "..., or only play game and see the ones I can see or find or obtain >///<"
Richie: "I want to understand you."
Erick: "You're kinda lonely here so I wanted to visit you..."
Richie: "Of course not! I'm having a neighborhood of blogs you haven't noticed. I usually talk to them"
Erick: "Oh really? O: I'm impressed and what are those blogs...?"
Richie: "I forget about them"
Erick: "O_o??"
Richie: "It's not that I don't care about others' blogs, but I have a designated place and the resources to have fun"
Erick: "I don't understand. Are you really lonely? ... >__< "
Richie: "I can handle myself the way you can handle yourself"
Erick: "Oh..., So do you want to play games then?"
Richie: "Sounds like a plan to me OwO"

[Lately, I have been feeling like on the last week, there wasn't a single day on which I didn't get tearful eyes..., it's seems those last games I saw/played were truly emotional? Am I becoming more sensible on things. or am I opening more my heart to the one who was already sensible and forgot about it...?

Understanding my introverted side of myself

    Well, after a lot of arrangements and a little bit of free time, I'm trying to make a good post so I can maintain a little bit my blog with lots of ideas. Now is this post.
    On recent days, I have been thinking about a lot of things. I'm always thinking, that shouldn't be a wonder to me but it is. I have been testing and making things I haven't done or I haven't experienced. Sometimes those were successful things and sometimes there were a few little things that turned out bad. But I was still practicing....
    It's like I hadn't had the chance on earlier years to make a good social interaction practice and now that the chance is happening, I'm starting to realize a lot of things in which I may understand a little more why normally I am this person.
    People don't notice how much I have changed. Well, they do if they have treated with me and saw a difference since the first time they met me. I’m glad I at least I can notice that.
    I really understand that I can't handle a lot of the conversations if I put importance in all of them, what I mean is that I care on the same intensity and time for everybody, it would be awesome if we could care about everybody. But people like me isn't as clever as to see when things aren't working the right way on social things to 'make a change and start again', that last thing should be one of the most challenging action for my personal experience. If I'm taking a long time trying to change, and general people ignoring those changes, is because I resist changing as a whole.
    I can see it, if it isn't for the motivation of some people, I wouldn't dare to make an effort to improve. But I have this intuition that there should be at least one person I can share most of the things we would like, so I didn't give up. I may understand more about myself that I may not care about everybody else but the ones I consider they should be the ones I would want to hang out.
    Why I can say that? It would be wonderful to go out and hang out and have fun with people and stay there and share experiences and laugh about it. But when I see it more deeply, I have a slight dependency of the things I do, my personal activities that are writing, or drawing, or programming, activities that consume personal time, actions in which other people aren't involved.
    So I have to experience specific actions on conversation such as, put interest on what the other person says, know what he actually likes and if we can do something about it, experiencing what I would see as difficult phases of Friendship. Understanding of my personality, when people try to do things they don't know I don't like and being clear is difficult to make. Detachment on activities, not everything is going to be focus on a person. Confrontation of reality, when defiance is occurred and a solution must be done to make the bond of friendship stronger. Understanding of space, when we know when it's proper to see, when it's proper to have our own activities, and when to consider priorities on the bonding and actions to be done. Friendship pressure, when we have the right to insist on the constant validation of the bonding of friendship, motivations and event handling on all of those.
    Some people like to hang out with lots of people as Friends, some other people would like one or two to hang out and that's fine. Some people like to be alone most of the time, with little important social interactions, and that's fine as long as they feel fine with themselves. As long as our emotional equilibrium is fine, whatever we do will be of our improvement. Hopefully our emotion can be stable on good friendship moment.
    Somehow I know that meeting people is a hassle for me, but when they know me and open up, I can be more normal, but usually I might fail on certain things, but maybe it doesn’t matter to me.
    Now that I can open up more bases and with that build some more, there are things that I can do better, and I might not feel alone if someone is gone for a while because I might rely on someone else, but of course I have priorities on who can share more things.... hehe
    I’m learning and I can see why experienced people have a better development on talking and chatting with others than I do, but then I say that if I make my effort I can show my sympathy to them and get into the conversation too and sharing what I know too!
    So that may be my position of Introversion with my attention to affection and feeling like I’m not in this world, that I have friends to make the effort to put, and, in advanced position, that I can be the one that can effectively cheer them up and also that they can cheer me up on upcoming problems.
    I think the only way I might find new things is be more open to everyone else making the fact that I have to talk more even if it might hurt if I don’t know if that happens, I think if that happens I would understand and adapt to it. That’s what I might act, at least on the internet motion. Only I should be careful hehe
    Well some long post I have made, so I guess that will help me see I can make the effort and not being sad about what I can’t have, because of all the things that I can share to others to be happy, and you know that better.

“A memory of younger days”

 "The flow of time is always cruel... its speed seems different for each person, but no one can change it... A thing that does not change with time is a memory of younger days..."
    Sheik – The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

    For those who played this awesome game, this is one of the phrases Sheik told Link said when teaching a song, specifically the “Minuet of Forest”. That phrase was said, because Link when he was young meets Saria at that place he was now. Saria, his best friend, taught him a nice song. The “memory of younger days” is that memorable time of playing and time spending in the forest.
    As you also know, Link when he drew out the Master Sword, he was frozen in time, and instantly became adult. So when he saw how the world was changed for the worse, he would understand what Sheik said.
    In a more deep meaning, if we could travel in time, we would feel the flow of time pass by and we would lose time. But we know we can’t yet travel in time. Also, time is constant in all space so at a specific second is the same for everybody. We all live the present at the same time. If time travel would exist, another person would live his present at another time. It’s a time-based explanation of living.
    But in a more realistic way to see it, we could relate it with time phases, a range of time in our lives in which we do specific things. Some may be slow in living his life-stages: childhood, teen days, young adulthood, etc. Some may live faster and so they get short life-stages. Some may feel like they are stuck in a phase of time, and some may feel like they are more mature in taking strong responsibilities.
    I’m more of the idea I’m stuck in time. I don’t know why. Or that I may be slow on my “flow of time”. I’m patient with myself; I do my activities at my own pace, steady and progressive, but still a little bit slower than others.  I feel like wanting to run or to increase the flow of time, but I feel over because I can’t determine the moment I see a rock when running....
    Just because they say “younger days”, but, what are younger days...? In Zelda they talk about childhood, so is that what it means? I feel when they post it on their blog/spaces I wonder what they really mean.... I can’t tell.
    I can’t concentrate very well on a finishing thought, but I can say younger days are remembered, because they are more likely to not get to live that moment again....

But Link supposedly with the help of the Ocarina of Time could see how it feels to be an adult, without really becoming one..., he might notice all his younger days are to be enjoyable....

Account-Snatching and Post Revolution Wave

    Hello. I’m your great nice guy that runs this blog (whose name’s Erick for nice purposes). Before I get into the topic, I want to let you know something. Maybe you have noticed that, but I wasn’t as active on this account as expected, but I hope to maintain the normal pace of a blog. Maybe you have seen my Tumblr and Twitter that I have still posting something. I don’t usually use my Facebook and I haven’t drawn a new one. I hope I get going on a slightly normal rhythm.

Now, on to the topic.

    As you can see by the topic, let’s talk about when you get your account being taken by another one and tried to change or add or modify things. A normal account is accessed (or signed in) by imputing a name and a password. The password is not to be handed in to anyone, not a single one. And when you get to access your account, you can change your space and try to make a good use of it.

    The problem on accounts getting ‘compromised’ is when another that is not yours gets into your account and makes changes noticeable enough to others to say that’s not the person running that account. I have seen Facebook accounts getting compromised by others just for fun and eventually it is given back to the original users.

    How they could access an account? They should obtain a password and a username. Weak passwords are more vulnerable to get accessed. Even if the password is difficult to remember, a password that’s odd for you or not relatable is one solution. Even so, brutal force password obtaining may be done. But make the password stronger is recommended.

Now, an account is compromised. How do people react on that event...?

    I may not be as direct as possible, but there is no need to retaliate the fact that the account was compromised in some way. What will it solve with that? Will that user is going to leave that way? Will a noticeable alert be done? Something is sure, all people will get into the consideration and a commotion will be done. Posts and posts of trying to upset and rage the user. The point is, you don’t know how the people accessed that account; you just post to stop, or try to stop. The eventful revolution of posts resulted in a high count of clicks to see what’s happening. Worse enough if the place when that bunch of posts was made on a non-erasable place.

    What if the user were to come back? What that if was just a single joke of someone who made all those changes? On Facebook, jokes like this are made when computers are not being attended.... Now all of those can’t be put it back, that cannot be deleted and the incident will be done.

The thing is this: people reacting are not a good thing to happen, but at least it gets the Internet move.

That may be a weird thing to stats increasing, but it still works. I’m just not into that kind of thing....

Maybe my promotion isn’t as well done as expected; maybe I just need to hear people.

But maybe I might not understand a few, only to fear what would react on unexpected events....