Well, I don't know, it's like if I want to get things done and it doesn't get there, I kinda react weird about it. Maybe it just happens.
But well, today was one of those days, where only by the single touch of some event; a great development of ideas would make you feel uncomfortable.... I don't get it, it's like your entire body is feeling weird (even if you have taken a bath...); every external action is a little annoying and distracts you from your focus. Whatever little thing they do is enough to make me feel anxious. It’s like I wanted to solve something important and then my possibilities are not enough to solve it, no matter how I see it. I desperately want to find some answers, and it just doesn't appear!
Then I get to the real world, weird breathing, I know I’m fine, a weird headache, from all the generated ideas, a weird sensation, lots of blushing, embarrassment, clumsy actions, a constant movement from the lack of calm, lots of egocentric antisocial behavior, and a tendency to break out when nobody sees me. People normally won’t recognize this. Why would they? I’m not likely to show this type of emotions....
Then at home I feel like I can’t stay still; I can’t stay calm, nothing can make me change my behavior easily. I take out my glasses, I put it on again, my sweater is making me feel warm inside, but when I take it out, I feel cold; at least some blanket would suffice. But then the blanket is so heavy to have me around my shoulders, I return to my sweater again. I play a game, thinking it would make me stress out from anger, but it just surprises me more, thinking I can win, but keep on losing, and make me feel sad....
And then at night, a lot of movement, a lot of lightning, lots of weird voices, a lot of complaining and one or two little rant with myself. Then when it seems like my desperation would come to a limit, it just simply stops. I don’t know why, but it does. I feel like I’m getting peaceful and with no negative sensations to feel or negative ideas to hear inside my mind. It just fades away.
I want to explain why it happened, but know that I’m calm, there’s nothing to explain, only to think that the eventful moment of anxiousness was only something I've experienced across the day. No one witnessed my accelerated day you had, because I could feel my heart pumping faster than normal, I could feel my hasty movements, my precipitated behavior, and also my endless need of letting out all that emotion, but it just can’t.
But now it has stopped, there’s no need now. Now I want to be that way for the rest of the night, and think about tomorrow, hoping this won’t happen again, although I’m not sure if I could make it true....
But oh well, hehe, nothing to worry about, it was just a day, everyone must have had one of those days, but that’s alright, because you can expect a better day, you can expect you can make good objectives, you can expect you can be good with people....
