Trying to make a specific statement of a problem is difficult, even more if I feel insecurity in me. Maybe I shouldn't make it a worrying problem, but maybe I should care about it. Those kinds of insecurity are making me feel anxious... oh.
Maybe because I don't fit in all points that state the symptoms of someone who is suffering from anxiety or social problems, maybe because I'm mostly hearing the same from my family, even if they may get it or know it, but they were NOT fully aware of my problem. I didn't want that to have it, neither do other people with the same problem.
But still I have to face it every day; so, "Fighting Anxiety": when it happens unexpectedly, how I try to evade it, how I try to deal with it.
Of Actions and Time
I have written some Journal on my deviantart page, about what I've been struggling when I'm dealing with not being alone and around people at the same time.
"I know, from the little experience I have, that people don't have good mood all the time, and maybe, they may won’t talk to you, or maybe they do, depending on what type of connection you have with the other person. It's kind of difficult to think that way."
"I can't deny that I like my moments alone, and I think most people do. Well, I know they are people that can talk and use social networks to the maximum level that means they can spend the time talking. Most of the people I know in person don't do this too often. Or that's what I want to believe, they mostly watch anime, play videogames, stay a little time reading, doing chores or spending time with brothers, some others might do a little less of all of that to maintain a user-Position like deviantart or tumblr or another place. And also our personal projects and school stuff to attend, so, we have things to do and this is one of them."
"We must take place on those things that are important to us and not feel like going more on something than other, just because comfort. It has to have meaning, and a certain time to do it."
Having a change in Motion has made most of my last thinking cut off in half, and thinking it outside the space I was, it made me like, care a little less than last time, and be comfortable with my own ideas. I know that's not gonna be.
I know also that depending on my mood, if I get a good sleep, eat well and else, causes of getting less/more anxious. If I sleep well and get my ideas in order, I'll get less anxious.
Last months I wanted to rush lots of things, but doing it so made me lose time. I still have problems dealing with time, and I can't get a proper range of time in which due dates are to be proposed. I know certain things take less or more time, but trying to deal with lots of things I'm lacking, I may have learned a lot of things, but it cost me struggling things and unwanted emotions, maybe the things I lack experiencing.
An now I know I can extend that range a little bit and act at a more calmed pace, at least on the things I want to learn, I want to do, I want to finish. And yeah, the evolution process I've been telling about is still on course, only that I need more time. No need to rush things you know. When the time and chance is proper, it will be done n__n
Well another post of today, see you around then.
