Hello, how are all of you? If you come from some link I sent lately, welcome to my blog. As you can see, I haven't got any time to update it, even though my position of user is still active with some tweets and some drawings. My evolution process has been not as visual as I really wanted. In fact this has been the year of changes, lots of changes, no real project could have been mantained up to the point to change again and in its basics. But one thing to say is that changes has been to provide a better form of user data content. So, maybe I might update this thing for a little while longer, while I have the inspiration to do it.
This inspiration, however, is the result of me being Introverted again. Why I say that? It's not because of myself in my entire position, because of the people that might imagine that part of myself. Let me explain.
Opening the gates of my social status, I have been learning a lot of things this year. Eventually there is the time to apply it and make a good use of it, then having the right tools of written expression and generation of ideas, I would get more fluent on my writing and thus making good responses and comments and even go a little bit more of my usual self. While certain requirements were occuring, I struggled to maintain that gate opening, and so being more introverted, or that is what I'm thinking.
You see, I might talk to lots of people and then talk to them again, and then try to make a good response of it, and then, kinda not make a response, neither an appearance of sorts, neither try to understand usual nonsense they might say they might want they want to do. All the things happened when the pressure of reality grew stronger against me.
Trying not to step back from it, I reminded myself of some sort of waiting progress, a long-waiting one, were doubts appeared suddenly and without advice, those ideas were blinding me and then trying to step back from usual modes. And to complicate things a little, looking the gloomy process I had to do, fearing of a data disruption that was more of a destructive force to my central position in which its essence was being heavily smashed but greatly defended, had to safeguard on my most developed form of data structured, like a pong trying to deliver a ball full of ideas and retributions and experience from other forms of data.
But then leaving behind things are kinda weird, but also normal becasue, running away because I can't handle my own emotions has been my own speciality. Not that I like it but I can't help trying to say something, especially if wanting to reach someone and not knowing what to do. At first it was only a few ones, being mostly rejected by them, now it has ben way more that that, and the response rate increased a little but still rejections were unavoidable, but still, I felt I made some progress.
Now I felt my introversion went in a high position because I don't feel the need of talking to people, because when I have the necesary things to feel happy, anything else could care less. One of those this are programming, and not any type of programming, good serious programming and game oriented, that was a satisfying thing to do. Drawing and playing games were another one. I can keep with that without any recess shyness and embarrassment nor people nor teamwork to do. It's just about me.
And before anything else, it's not that I don't like being with people, because my years of wanting to do that wouldn't be worth it. It's just that the power of people is greater of influence than others, and I should be prepared to deal with it.
There is something though. There is gonna be a moment I feel the need to channel all that introverted feeling and put order on everything so I can act as before with the add-ons of last things. It's only a matter of wait and know what to do to recover all those things left behind.
If I resguard myself from them is becasue I'm introverted and I need it.
But sure I need to know how to recover to normal all that bonding
