It's not that I don't understand or something, it's just that I can feel how weird things are going on and how would end up eventually.
The thing most people wouldn't see it clearly is sad for me, because I don't know if the things I would say for Motivation Point can be as effective and powerful.
But then I remind I don't have anyone near me and my fear of rejection gets too high, but they don't know how their actions could affect someone, but it's know that I have to remind this everyday so we can have some nice conversations. I feel that I could annoy them and then end up rejecting me. So I've always been careful for that.
My position doesn't want to make direct ideas because when I receive one, even if it's not directed towards you, I still fell sad about it, because of thinking of how it would feel to be there in that place. I just can't handle it, I lose concentration (which I don't like it) I put my focus towards recovering my stability of emotion and restoring the thing I was doing before. It takes a long time.
Feeling that your attribution gets rebounded towards you is hurtful, because it's energy to use and if you rebound energy in a counter direction, it just adds up more energy that isn't needed..., but still, I don't know how people feels so I don't know how DIRECT and MEANINGFUL their words are, I just don't know, they just don't know.
And I know if I get to overcome shyness and become better person, I'll have to face things that I can't possibly imagine, things normal people do everyday, things that I don't usually do. And that I can't be as personal as others can do, but still even if COMPUTER ENGINEERING doesn't need a lot of SOCIAL INTERACTION...!!
, I'm still making my best.
Even if it hurts.
It's silly to think that I'm just a silly boy that suffers from trying to get new friends, and my Introversion just can't make me think of everybody, but this feeling of Having Friends is just still there, I just can't ignore it, and therefore I have to do it because I don't know, there is that special meaning of finding something special, something that can make you happier I don't know..., if it weren't on my head banging with those ideas, I wouldn't care.
But the thing is that I DO. That's why I'm here, and that's why I'm not going to give up, because Base Establishment, based on mostly objective-positive thoughts and ideas, says that I can't be negative on myself and that I can try with different options.
I know I can be better, so does everyone else, and if I were to break subjective ideologies to make to the right sense of the idea, it would hurt but all because of my sensation of Friendship and stuff.
I don't have an image of motivation or a finishing positive move but I can say something...:
Everyone. Likes. Things...
(But I'm not your friend anyway...)
Richie:"That not a FINISHING MOVE!!, say something more productive than that"
Erick:" You!"
Richie:"That's not a thing...."
Erick:"No, I mean, this is a better finishing move"
Richie:"You can't just think negative things out of nowhere..."
Erick:"But, I can't help it..."
Richie:"But you can't just express it that way..."
Erick:" But how if only the things I hear is the wind and void things and deterministic and firm statements of..."
Richie:"Meh!!, you are just here because..."
Erick:"Because I want everyone to be happy....?"
Richie:"Exactly, even with your kinda cold personality..."
Erick:"How can I be cold, if I get feelings about things...."
Richie:"Well, your emotions towards your Friendship Ideology is something but if you take out that...."
Erick:"That's why I won't take it out!!"
Richie:"OK, I think you have your point no?"
Erick:"I think so...."
Richie:"Ok then hehe"
Erick:"Only they can understand this.... hehe"
Richie:"Say something nice"
Erick:" I won't say potato, I'll put it on a random comment"
Random Post of the day
Even if I can't say my life here, I hope to consider my point of view, think of Neil Gaiman, great guy, and astro Teemo, and BMO and Ulala dancing with Michael Jackson and Pikachu.
Everybody loves Pikachu.... :3
