The one who led me to the Internet World [A STORY...]

[KIND OF...]

It was a ordinary day, like any other, I would look at the computer seeing if some Paint sketch was interesting to do. Already entering Middle School, and a lot of things yet to happen.  I was still a kid and much of the world that I didn't know at that time.

At that moment you knocked the front door and I saw you. You're that kid I had a great time spending at Elementary School, on those last years of being children. Seeing your colored glasses was simply amazing.

When I got to see you, you asked me one question: What is my e-mail? At that time, I think I didn't have an e-mail account, not even know what the Internet is. I could know that it would happen, because at school I was utterly blamed by one homework I didn't do on the computer, I didn't have one at that time, nor a way to research what they asked. But seems like everyone was getting into these things they called Internet. Even commercials were talking about it. I was unaware about it, but somehow I wanted to know more.

You were the one that made me enter an amazing world I was yet to discover, but even if we just get to know better, I had lots of issues with myself, and the only thing that were connecting us, was our e-mail user accounts.

I remember spending more time with you at recess, playing  Pokemon Trading Card Game matches. I didn't have the money to buy it, nor even know where to find it. I find more interesting having a copy on those cards, even if they look black and white. Despite that you lend me some of yours and started playing. It was awesome! I would love playing with you.

Though you were mean with me at start, I don't know exactly what happened, but you were picking me on constantly on things I didn't know. Or I was too weak to receive your little fists on my shoulders as if a salutation was made. I called mom, and mom talked to you not to be mean with me. Didn't know how you reacted but then you ended being mean with me.

After that time, we became friends. At recess we would spend most of the time together, playing more card games, talking a little bit, playing childish games, clapping our hands in a fashion manner, even tickling games, I got tickled the most
until a point I almost wasn't able to handle all the laughing and such. Playing at the sand and try to build imaginary worlds, and smash them with our hands.

Then the last year came another friend with us and we spent the time together. We would play most of the time, and sometimes I would cry at my frustrations on not winning games with you. Then other two girls were playing with us and we would have the perfect team on recess time. It was all what I wanted to happen!

Sadly, it didn't last. What will keep us apart was after graduation. I knew we will go to separate schools, that we wouldn't spend time on another recess again. Remember right at the ceremony talking about twin girls appearing at a show acted by one person, and Pokemon Crystal, trying our best to solve the puzzle of the Unown. I didn't even had that game but with that I would always remind myself to keep playing Pokemon all the time.

Even after that, you invited to your house lots of times, we would play with your games on the computer and on the Play Station you had. Remember playing the Sims with you, trying to keep our player healthy and clean, then playing arcade games like Capcom vs SNK and Soul Callibur II, as you have it more, it was more obvious you would beat me on those games, it was obvious. We would talk on chat on so many things I don't know if it was a lot or only it was something.

You still had your ideas, and my other friend envied you somehow, it was confusing having two friends who can't comprehend each other, still it was a nice thing going to your house and play. But then some day you said you can't receive me, but it was okay, so I could go the next time, but it was the same. And then one day I go to your house calling at you, trying my best to see if you were there, but you didn't answered. I resigned and returned home. It was the last time I tried to see you.

We didn't lose contact though, I knew you were there on the Internet, we didn't talked too much, but you were still there. Clearly enough we maintained our Messenger e-mail accounts, and it was all right. Didn't feel the need to talk to you though, maybe I was scared to be rejected again, no one seemed to notice that. And though that distance of our houses wasn't long, my insecuritues and our different path clearly make distant our encounter.

I became shy, but I knew one day I would overcome this and start making reencounters with people. the ones I really cared about. We would see us again on Social Media where I started late, again, and, I could clearly see you playing games like I am, it was nice playing games, and didn't know you're were good at typing. It was a challenge I wanted to beat.

One day I had a dream. I was in a forest, it was all colorful green, the sunlight made the tree leaves brighter,  I was running, and I stopped at some piece of wood, fallen from an old tree. Then I saw you, smiling, looking at me with some bright in your eyes, it was cool to see you! I always wanted to talk things, how everything's going, what becoming of our lives, if we can become friends again..., then you went apart of where I am, still seeing at me, you just went away and I was chasing at you. Waking up, I just feel nice to see you in a dream, feeling the sensation I can really see you some time....

But then, one day, one call, received by mom, and some minutes after, would give me a shocking sensation I've never felt before.... Mom told me, and I just couldn't understand. Who are you talking to? Are you really sure it was him? It could be someone else, it couldn't be him....

They didn't mention your name, making it more confusing the situation. So that would mean, yesterday you were there somewhere, but now you weren't there anymore.... But strange enough, I felt nothing about it. Didn't make me sad, just shocked, and confused. I kinda denied it, and I thought you were still there, somewhere around here, I didn't really wanted to search more than that I had already received.

There were days and days thinking about you, and though I knew where they going to make a proper goodbye, I didn't go. I just couldn't. How can I properly approach to you when we were distant from each other? I felt weird not going, but I didn't know what it surrounded you. I'm a stranger to them....

There were days when I was really confused when I see you on status updates, you were appearing! As if someone wanted you to keep you alive! But then I was only an illusion, and northing more were posted related to you.

That's when I realized, you were gone....

I told my best friend, looked that he was the last he knew about it. But what he didn't know is how I really wanted to be more in touch. He didn't even know well the situation, but I guess it was still something out of our ambiance, but I didn't think of it as such, even if it was true.

Around all these years, sometimes I think about you, about how great you were, on how you liked Pokemon, your way you talk, about your fascination about Sailor Venus, and your like on Sailor Moon. You were the only I know that like me liked the series. All what you have left, and your smile. I don't know why I like your smile. But I like it. And your colorful glasses. At least that's what I remembered about you. Looking at your face on your profile, you didn't had your glasses, maybe you had changed on your face, but still you were the same.

I want to be honest to you. I like you the way you are, despite our differences. And..., I really wanted to meet again. I really do.
Maybe, once I get the time, I'll meet you where you stay, and, maybe I can give you a proper goodbye...

I want to cry your departure, and say I really cared about you going away, that I wasn't cold to think on such things, that I wasn't indifferent, that I REALLY...

..., miss you a lot.

I would think, for the last time, you would appear, and looked at me, I would like to think, you remembered me, who I am and all the things we've done together, and finally say to me

"It's all right, you don't have to worry."

Feeling like a hug I could embrace you and comfort me but you keep telling me I shouldn't worry. And then you would say

"Thank you. For being part of my life"

[Last line is the Alternative Title...]

A Fast Paced Random Post of the Month

Hi, just a quick note on here, because I want to.
I don't know who really likes to see what I post, I don't mind if there are a lot of people seeing it or not. It has no importance whatsoever. But if you kindly want to tell me you like what I do, I truly appreciate it. Also your suggestions are important too. It's truly helpful to make this blog nice for all.

Now a quick story:

There is this guy who wanted to go one day alone. Have a walk to the street, maybe to the park, and maybe to get an ice cream and stay there beside the grass and under the tree. Then return home and take a shower and then go to sleep.

But then the next day he was walking to the street again and went to the park again, got another ice cream, and sit beside the grass under the tree. But he didn't returned. What he saw in front of him. Another boy. It was not like him, it was not him. It was a different guy. Around his age, wearing glasses like him, kinda different clothes but of similar composition. That guy was looking at him. Both looks got crossed, passed through the glasses, and reached the eyes of the other. They were both silent, they stared at each other for around 2 minutes. It was an intense stare.

But between that moment, he saw it, the eyes of the boy, and all what it has behind. Somehow a crack in his world, a little hole that can be seen. The thoughts of that boy were seen.
It was an idea after an idea after an idea. The thing was, it didn't  seem to be his idea. What he saw was incredible, he was thinking how other people are doing right at this moment! Lot's of people, lots of idea, lots of action, lots of worries, lots of suffering, lots of happiness, lots of despair.
Lots of ideas that happens at the same time, and seeing it that much at the same time could be confusing...

At some blink, he snapped out of it. And like a signal , the boy just jumped surprised. He looked at you worried, and then tears came out pouring, but no change of his face was shown. Before you could do anything, the boy stepped out and ran away.

After that he returned home and took a shower and then went to sleep.

Thinking for a while, he thought only about this boy, what would be doing at that moment. He guessed the boy was thinking about how people were thinking before they are sleeping.

Maybe the boy was thinking about him. Maybe the boy think he was already asleep....

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I shouldn't think about it too often, it's like... I don't know. It's weird.
Thinking about someone else....
I worry sometimes...
And sometimes, I shouldn't worry.

I want to think, he can be alright....
I want to think, he can do his best....
I want to think, he is thinking about me...
I want to think, also he may be asleep...

Will he know I'm thinking about him? Maybe the best thing he would say is. Go to sleep, tomorrow will be a new day. Don't worry if you don't think about it. I'm fine. Because I know the moment we're here, I know you're there.
When I'm asleep, I'm alone, but that's alright, because it has to be that way.
When I wake up, that's the time to think to I want to care the most....

Childish Ideas, and Joyful Memorandums

Sorry if I talked about this before, but I didn't find on my other posts something similar to this. (Hope I don't repeat it)

And another sorry if it gets a little gloomy on my way to talk, not too harsh but not a happy thing too.

     April 30th, here in Mexico, is Children's Day.  Expectations on why this day is unknown. But well, just figures.

     I had a bunch of ideas as I child. Those were kinda decisive on the way I am now. The thing is, I'm not the child I was, in terms of, my personality on when I was a child has been in a lower state, but not in terms of actions and events or happy things, but because of some personality I had. 

     I was the guy I can do lots of things at School, like any other child, I would play ball at recess, be in a certain spot with other classmates, having fun while playing tag or when hiding. But also I had that belief of being good in class. I got very good in class. In fact I felt different from others. I knew I was the best in the class. I knew I had to prove it to everyone.

     Third grade, some new guy enters school, one of the first challenges was to overcome him in grades, he was good too. I got focused on him. Until 6th grade, he was a challenging opponent. People would technically notice that ambiance, mostly because me shouting at things. 

     Third grade, again. Some guy again, I was fooled by some magic trick he made on first grade. A challenging guy but I didn't made a proper trace, they say he was a genius but nothing else, I got him unnoticed. 

     Fourth grade, I knew who were the best, boys and girls, and who was the people that were being behind.  I felt the everyday challenge to be serious, even at home I made that possible. 

     Fifth and sixth grade, the start of a change, still unnoticed by that. My best friend, even if at home was a great companion, at school, he was a different person. I wouldn't care, I mostly spent my recess alone, with other people, playing at the most unusual places at school, I didn't talk at school, and somehow I got hated by people, my own classmates, because of my personality, who wouldn't stop telling my expertise of action, and because of my lack of caring. I wouldn't care, their talking were uncomfortable to me, I didn't like it. 

Their games was the only thing I got. 

I had friends 2 years before elementary school ending. And then everything would change....

     Weird experiences as a child, such as unexpected kissing (regardless who they were... o.o), tickle fight of death (hehe), handslap resistance (I don't know how I did like that at 6th grade, it was one day), lots of rejection, lots of crying, and lots of misunderstanding, from my parents, from my classmates, from my teachers, and from my friends.

     Little they know if they let me go on my own, I wouldn't continue the same way, and that's what I thought as a child.

-----------------

     And my little brother brought a couple of friends home. They brought games, Smash Bros Brawl, Zelda, Mario Party and others. I got beaten at one match, but as he see is as a nice victory, I just say, it was just the controller...

    Then I showed them Pokemon X, one friend was good telling which pokemon were, but he also needs to know whose type are super effective/not very effective against other pokemon.

     That's one of the things I can share on people they still to know about life, my brother being different from myself, doing a great job. I hope he gets better.

-------------------

Aaand...

     Some notification reminded me around this month about something I just forgot. There is something I want to tell, I don't know if the title can be the proper one, oh wait, I had one. 

"The one who Introduced me to the Internet World"

It's a rather off-topic title, with a nice meaning. I just need to do it...

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And tomorrow, "A Nerd's Adventure" hits it's Third Anniversary.

I don't know if three years are a lot but I think it is. :)

Worrying People

That's one of the things I haven't really experienced...

    I wasn't such an influence back on my days of School, and even if they could see me all the time, I would be sure in a way they wouldn't care, or that's what I thought. I didn't have lots of friends, the few I had didn't have problems handling strong conversations. There are a few of them that I really wanted to become friends, but technically it didn't happen. Back then I was trying my best to talk to them, but somehow a concrete bonding wasn't there, the experience of getting on the people and not responding to it wasn't pleasant. But then they seem to acknowledge the fact though nothing else was done.

    And all these years of trying and trying was another experience I was making my effort. Effort to stop repressing my emotions and thoughts. My years On-line as a User and all what I found when I'm here, it was grateful. All and its extended resolutions, I managed to get in touch to a few more people. On-line of course. I started to talk more and more, as it were easy to do it, it was fun.

    But then what I feared was coming to approach. But I was prepared to face it, because I knew it by experience... I could talk but then a dissonance of voices, and then the differences turning into a higher point, it becomes something in which, I can't have an idea to overcome this by talking.

    Because I make some effort in talking, more if it's an unknown path, I can't make again with the same effort give a back-to-track message, unless certain conditions are met.

One of those conditions is, the person talking to were worried about myself...

    Action noted, it could be a message of sorts or some mention. Anything that makes again the connection is enough. Another condition is actually make that back-to-track message, explaining how do you feel. On each part if a retribution is made, the bonding will try its best to regain its power.

    Now then, lately I've been a little sleepy, on those stages, I'm more Introverted than anything else, but somehow I over-exceeded my Introversion. I didn't say anything about it, that I would take a break, that I need a great recharge, both physically and emotionally, that I need to deal with some problems, and that I needed more content to share and manage to talk, because I felt I was saying the same all the time.... It's not like it's going to be the same as before, but at least I want to feel comfortable the time I wanted to return.

    But, what I wasn't expecting is, people telling me where I am, and how's everything going. A little few got nothing from me, worrying enough to make a state of presence and send me a message. The moment I knew it, I was, first surprised by a normal sudden anxiety from the recovery motion of Re encounter, and then a little frustrated and sad, because of feeling how selfish I was with those people.

    I mean, it's not that the User Position is all important, the real world has its own challenges. Amazing challenges :B . But, as explained before, I just went away for a little while, and  chaos surrounded the path I made with much effort. It's not like it's destroyed, it's just that I need to build more light to iluminate the path.

The path once made, it can be easily followed with the right compass. 

Buy the console, play Smash Bros!!

It's always been like this.

    Let's talk about the game of excellence in terms of competition and fun for many of us nerds who has the love about Nintendo Games: Super Smash Bros. Since I was a child, this was a reason you can play with your friends and have some fun with it. When it comes to smash bros, everyone wants to play it.

    I can tell I've play all of those and I love it with each of their features. This is one of the reasons I know more games like MOTHER/Earthbound, Kid Icarus and Animal Crossing, and to know more about other known games like Kirby, Zelda, F-Zero, Yoshi Island, Fire Emblem, Metroid, in recent games Sonic, and many more.

    I just saw the recent Nintendo Direct, and I was soo impressed! I know by each generation of consoles, better graphics and movements are a must. But those kind of graphics made me feel to actually play it on that console. I have a Nintendo 3DS, and I was expecting to play it on there, but when I saw all those graphics, my expectations went higher!

    Though it may be dumb (and that's the reason of the title), but buying a Wii U to play Smash Bros is going to be the hit of the year, and a Christmas present, I could see it playing it on that day, and I could imagine all of those gamers wanting it for Christmas too, hehe.

    And so, what else I can say about it? Despite the expectations of wanting to train for it, the feeling of the graphics and the moves, smash attacks, their special moves and their Final Smash, the new features is something I would expect more. And also playing with my favorite characters, Ness has been one of then, since the fist game I liked to play with him. I think he's a must character, because he's always there.

     I want the 3DS game, having a portable smash bros is the most wanted thing, and it would be delightful the graphics would be at least more visual than the Meele version. I wonder who would be the ones who wants to play that with me.

    If my brother knows about it, I think he would like it more, after his Mincraft and Bravely Default playing. I need time to play those more :B

Collective Ponderations of a Monday Morning

     Lately the pressure was getting over me again, and even though it was just a matter of not being able to sleep last night, it was still annoying. You are supposed to recover from your sleep and gain more energy to tomorrow. You know important things comes on Mondays and though we might not grasp it at all, all we have to do is have a nice and pleasant dream.

     I knew somehow I woke up late last day, and that it wouldn't let me get into a proper sleep. I was just thinking about things. Life, own expectations, a little bit of ranting of myself, and future *place a squidward saying "Future..!"* . Also, people's lives, where am I going to be in the next few years, and how to get all problems solved before the real problem that is surviving life. And also, the always question of who am I, who are the others I see around, who are the people I rarely (but usually for me) hang out or talk to. And also, what dumb/silly things I am doing to impress others, to be admired, or to be envious or to be I the one I can change their lives. It's not like it happens everyday but I'm sure it does :3

     That's when later on the day I discovered, I wasn't alone on that thinking. Surprisingly, lots of people got worried that night. People handling work, school things on the morning, people wanting to change things, people overcoming issues and lots of over-thinking, and people just trying to get some time to sleep, maybe by doing other things just to lose time. If they don't need to get up early, maybe they can have this to enjoy.

    But, one thing is thinking and thinking about it, and  another is not thinking about it at all. And in between thinking and not thinking, I lose time to make big decisions. I could be doing better things instead of thinking it too much, making conclusions is important. But as I said, it's a matter of  believing in myself and make other believe in themselves, so that a Motivational Point can be reached and the Flow of Action can be done.

    I won't think that people because of their experiences wouldn't take a chance to follow what their believe and follow their dreams, I just think that people are amazing to have a nice talk, or at least share the same things. People on the Internet, in a nice world. I tend to forget I need to get out to see people outside, just to make note this is not as important as everything else in the world. This is only a way I can achieve better things, this is the way I can share my thoughts with you.

   With that, I log off, and hope to write more.