I have this desire to write, to express myself, to see how much I can do, how many people I can meet, I can interact, I can talk to. It's going to go a nice and fun way to do it. But somehow I can't find the fun about it, yet. Maybe because I'm concentrated on trying the best in this post.
Last night's post, even if very late, was well made. I made a review of certain things, and also reviewed some notifications, and cleaned my room, I'm making some progress in a few hours. Well in fact, a few hours are needed for making fast activities that it can do on daylight.
I don't know if last post I said I was kinda sad, oh I remember it was on tumblr. I'm kinda sad, because of so many changing events that I can't get out of my head. I know that feel of getting in a weird world, I wonder how when I was younger can handle better all of this.... What it bothers me is, all my effort made to increase my experience was reverted a little bit, because of my easily-offended mind. I wasn't prepared for receiving opposing ideas from unknown people. Saying that they don't think as you sounds a little threatening, but sometimes, it's kind of weird to see, to know now, that it isn't the way I should see the comments of real people. People react differently on opposing ideas, depending on how well they know each other, or how strong the idea is. The fact is that people who can't see the situation really won't say a lot from it, and those who really do get its waves shaken.
It hurts to be against the wall so many times, that wall that prevents me from falling, but all those high-frequency waves that adds up with my normal frequency, makes the wall tremble sometimes. The wall has enough strength to handle all that undesired frequency, but still the impact is done, and of course I receive all that frequency without any guard. It feels like lightning....
I get happiness easily, I get sadness easily, I get other emotions easily. Even my always-protected emotion of affection and love. If some person would discover it at its fullest, it would be a great resource. It seems to be my best guarded resource.
I'm denying I'm different from others, that I need to express myself differently from what I'm doing. I get a lot of struggles not expressing the way I am, and what I want is to express in an humble way. I'm always saying that and I'm always changing my mind in doing various things, sometimes daring things that challenges me a lot.
I'll review what things I want to write more, and try to solve all problems.
